Questions i didnt know really where to post


I am 33 yr old male, an served in the Army from 97-2000

Dropped outa college but am returning this summer to try and finish, as part of my discernment process, being that I feel that if i can finish college , i should be mature enough to consider myself ready to enter into some kind of vocation process.

I wonder though with personal problems that I have, should it make me reconsider a religious life..

I am working on over coming pornography, and have been successful in some areas and lacking in others, so I am hopeful on this, I have personal family problems that i deal with constantly and it worries me, that if i can not be patient with my own family members how can I be patient with others ?

And I pray for help, infact part of my problem i had today was having a big arguement with my mother, and this was about an hour or so after i had prayed the rosary for help on such an issue, and im thinking what in the world is wrong with me !

My pop is a great help, in issues i have with my mom, and i have handled other situations on my own before,, and im starting to wonder the following...

who does a priest , or brother turn to when they are stressed out ?

Praying for help is very beneficial and meditation and reflection as well, but i mean if these men are getting stressed out for what ever reason, is it okay for them to turn to immediate family for help ? Do they talk to their Bishop ? Do they seek a therapist ?

What if a priest or brother doesnt get along with another priest or brother that they have to work with ?

What problems does a priest encounter ?

And let me clairify, when I joined the Army, I heard horror stories, and i figured they were just that, stories to scare me out of joining, the truth was it was nothing like anyone told me, mainly because it was from people who had retired long ago and times have changed, so in some aspects it was alot worse than what they remembered.

I had no way to prepare for the hardships of joining the Army, one can be physically prepared, but I have been out of service for 10 yrs, I could in theory get in better shape and rejoin before i turn 40 to the Army, and I know things will be drastically different.

But I would be better able to handle certain situations ( I think , at least ones i faced as a teenager )

So what challenges does one face in a religious life as a priest or brother ?

what do you do if you have pushy congregation members who think the church should be doing x,y,and z ? I have heard growing up things like oh well Father so n so is only saying this and doing that because he doesnt want to lose donations to his church....

Do priests worry about things like this ?

Or how about this for a real example i see in the church i attened, we have a contemporary choir that plays every other Sunday evening at mass,

and they must think no one watches them or listens to them, because if you go there early before mass to pray in silence, forget it, they are loud, and the church echos,

and i mean they are not monsters just doing what ever, but you would think they would exercise some common sense, and not start strumming out what ever they please on an eletric guitar in between practicing for the songs for the evening, or start doing a drum solo as if it is a rock concert, or laughing loudly and cutting up. both of which has happened and sometimes still does.....

any thoughts i would appreciate.


Hi! I'm a bit younger than you (only 15), but I've had similar issues. I am also in the process of discerning, and I know that the decision is a really difficult one. I would think that it would be okay for priests to turn to their fellow priests, as well as close family members. The priest at my parish still has a very close relationship with his brother and sister.

I have to say, it is rather surprising to hear, but priests aren't perfect men. They are just as bad as us regular laymen, and try to improve themselves every day just as we do. You don't have to be perfect to start seminary, but you do need to try and fix any problems you have. Try not to rely on your own strength, but God's. I know that as often as I try to solve my problems myself, I fail. So always turn to God, for every insignificant problem that you have. It helps you to pray constantly and to trust the Lord more and more.

As for your comment on the contemporary music Mass, I have to laugh at myself a little at that. I sing in the choir at my parish, and I assure you that the whole laughing and cutting up thing isn't necessarily a natural teenage thing. It is simply that when a bunch of kids get together to do an activity they love, we often forget ourselves. It is not deliberate, and we never intend to stop people's prayer. Honestly, the best thing to do was to get an adult aware of the issue to politely remind them of this once in awhile. They won't make a big deal out of it, and though they may be offensive (honestly, I get offended sometimes) they will take it gracefully no doubt, so long as one is not actively rude to them. I never hold any grudges over it.:rolleyes:

As to the person in parish who has suggestions, in my experience it's good to listen to them objectively. Though they may have ideas that are just silly, like they think that the deacon leans the book a little to the left when lifting it up and should really lean more to the left, then it would be best to disregard it. But they may have a very good idea, which could improve the overrall parish. Never discount a person.

That's all I can think of for now. God bless, and I will be praying for you. I hope you try seminary, even if you do not finish college. It is made for the exact reason of preparing you, you don't have to be entirely ready. If you feel that God is calling you, then know that he will not call an incompetant man. When the time comes, God will give you the gifts you need to do it, you simply must have faith and accept them.

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