questions on marriage


#1

I was wondering if anyone has any advise on staying patient…i am not officially engaged but plan on it soon. How can I respect my boyfriends timing and be more patient? And is there a St to pray for especially for patience?


#2

[quote=CA12]I was wondering if anyone has any advise on staying patient…i am not officially engaged but plan on it soon. How can I respect my boyfriends timing and be more patient? And is there a St to pray for especially for patience?
[/quote]

Dear CA,
If you boyfriend is giving you this much grief, please reconsider saying “YES”. It is only going to get worst after you get married…I know first hand.


#3

I’m the last person to ask on this one! I knew we were going to get engaged; we’d talked about it at length, and had picked out the rings. One weekend I got real emotional about how I was unsure about everything since he hadn’t proposed yet. God bless him–somehow he managed to sit through my hormonal fit. He had planned, and did, propose on that following wednesday. :smiley:

All I can tell you is to pray a lot. God will give the you patience you need, and the determination to make it though.


#4

I’m assuming that you and your boyfriend have discussed the likely possibility of becoming engaged, so I’ll put in my two cents accordingly.

Guys act weird when they are gearing up to propose. In fact, I had a lunchtime discussion about this with several female coworkers just yesterday (they’re all getting married this year, and I’ve been married for almost two years now). All of us had very similar stories about the weird behavior from our guys. In fact, I was convinced that my then-boyfriend (now husband) was going to break up with me, because he was acting very distant, avoiding me, and telling me he “needed space”. Actually, he was trying to buy the ring without me finding out, and trying to figure out how to ask me. I’m not sure what I would have done if he had dragged it out any longer.

I think guys get freaked out about all the pressure, even if it’s something they really want. It’s a life-changing decision- if all goes as planned, their lives won’t be about just them any more. Plus there’s all the other stuff: is the ring too small? too big? is it too soon in the relationship? will her parents (or mine) be mad? can I afford this? am I enough of an adult? how should I ask her? what if she says no? what if she says yes? Lots of pressure on the poor guys. I’m sure the male half of these boards can weigh in further on this topic.


#5

As a male and a member of these boards I feel that I must stand up for our side of the race. Guys are very fragile emotionally (even if we don’t let on) and what your boyfriend is doing is call working up the courage. This must be done at his own pace and you can’t rush him. He is thinking about what is going to happen before during and after he asks you and he is going over all situations that could arise. This is done for our wellbeing, we are cautious creatures. Pray for him! Prayer is probably the best answer for you as well!


#6

Keep praying, and know if it is His Will, it will happen… Good Luck

God Bless–JMJ
Laura :slight_smile:


#7

Well, I’d say he is scared to death of not getting the answer he is looking for. As was said earlier, guys are cautious (occassionally) because there are certain situations that have some volitility. Something like proposing is huge, and he needs to work up the courage and get to the point where he feels like he will explode if he doesn’t ask. That moment will come, so just support him till then

Eamon


#8

Well, I’m one of those who feel that the whole idea that there must be a romantic suprise proposal is part of the cultural romance trap we weave. We want to find a “soul mate” and have them pop the question on one knee with 3 dozen roses, a $200 bottle of Champaign, preferably an audience to applauded and a string quartet to burst into “You Light Up My Life” while doves fly into the sunset.

Catholic marriage is not an afternoon TV program.

Marriage is a sacred commitment, and should be discussed and prayed about with your potential partner, the respective families and your Priest - BEFORE buying a ring and calling the newspaper. Once a prayerful decision has been reached, an announcement celebration would be wonderful.

Telling your children that you remember the day you began to seriously discuss marriage would set a good example that marriage is not a flip thing.


#9

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