Questions on Marriage


#1

I need an understanding on what I am asking from some of you learned members.

As many of you know, I ask for prayers for my sister quite frequently as she has lymphoma. I am starting to have Masses said for her, not solely because of the cancer, but for a return to the Church.

A little background. My sister was baptized, received 1st Holy Communion and was confirmed in the Catholic faith. However somewhere around the ages of 10 to 12 she was thrust into the situation of living with our father and his mistress, taking her away from our grandmother who raised her in the faith up to that point.

Cindy did not practice nor follow the faith after this. It was a terrible situation that she was locked in. She now follows Protestantism for the most part, the Rapture, etc. The other problem is she has been married twice. The first marriage was a civil marriage resulting in two now grown children. Her current marriage was also a civil marriage. Neither men she married were Catholic.

Now in order for her to actually return to the Church and receive Communion again, what would have to happen concerning these marriages. I am not very familiar with doctrines on marriage. I am really praying hard and will continue to have Masses said for her return, but what would happen regarding the marriage situation if she did.

Any information would be appreciated.


#2

As a Catholic, she is obligated to be married in the Church, so I believe both of her marriages are invalid, but that isn't our decision to make. She would still need to initiate the annulment process, but I feel because of the situation, it wouldn't be a long process.


#3

[quote="lakotak, post:1, topic:339156"]
I need an understanding on what I am asking from some of you learned members.

As many of you know, I ask for prayers for my sister quite frequently as she has lymphoma. I am starting to have Masses said for her, not solely because of the cancer, but for a return to the Church.

A little background. My sister was baptized, received 1st Holy Communion and was confirmed in the Catholic faith. However somewhere around the ages of 10 to 12 she was thrust into the situation of living with our father and his mistress, taking her away from our grandmother who raised her in the faith up to that point.

Cindy did not practice nor follow the faith after this. It was a terrible situation that she was locked in. She now follows Protestantism for the most part, the Rapture, etc. The other problem is she has been married twice. The first marriage was a civil marriage resulting in two now grown children. Her current marriage was also a civil marriage. Neither men she married were Catholic.

Now in order for her to actually return to the Church and receive Communion again, what would have to happen concerning these marriages. I am not very familiar with doctrines on marriage. I am really praying hard and will continue to have Masses said for her return, but what would happen regarding the marriage situation if she did.

Any information would be appreciated.

[/quote]

If your sister decides of her own free will to come back to the church, she would first have to consult a priest/go to confession. Catechesis may be needed as well. As for a possible annulment, it would be prudent to consult a priest or submitting minister in a parish about her situation because several factors may be at play that are very personal and private that she may not have told you or anyone else.

Based on the information you have provided, there are some missing details which make it a bit hard to give specific advice. For example, did her first marriage have a religious ceremony? If so, in what faith tradition? Was her first husband baptized or unbaptized? Facts like these and their supporting evidence will help a diocesan tribunal determine what type of case will be needed and what steps to take, should your sister decide to consult either a priest or parish minister who deals with annulments and fill out the necessary paperwork.

Hope this helps! :)


#4

Your sister needs to talk to a priest about resolving these issues; that is if she wants to come back to the Church. I'm not sure from what you're saying that she wants to come back.

Is she still in one of these marriages? If she isn't the she can go to confession. After receiving absolution she can start receiving communion again. If she's still in her second marriage she shouldn't receive communion.

To make a full return she should probably have some catechesis even though she completed her Chrisitan Initiation.


#5

[quote="janeway529, post:3, topic:339156"]
If your sister decides of her own free will to come back to the church, she would first have to consult a priest/go to confession. Catechesis may be needed as well. As for a possible annulment, it would be prudent to consult a priest or submitting minister in a parish about her situation because several factors may be at play that are very personal and private that she may not have told you or anyone else.

Based on the information you have provided, there are some missing details which make it a bit hard to give specific advice. For example, did her first marriage have a religious ceremony? If so, in what faith tradition? Was her first husband baptized or unbaptized? Facts like these and their supporting evidence will help a diocesan tribunal determine what type of case will be needed and what steps to take, should your sister decide to consult either a priest or parish minister who deals with annulments and fill out the necessary paperwork.

Hope this helps! :)

[/quote]

I think I stated that neither men were baptized Catholic. I don't know if they were baptized in another faith. Both marriages were done by a justice of the peace.


#6

Her first marriage is not valid due to lack of form.

Her second marriage is no valid due to lack of form. The marriage can be convalidated, she should talk to her pastor.

She has received all of her sacraments of initiation, so rectifying her marriage situation is all that needs to be done. It is a simple matter, provided there are no prior marriage(s) on her husband's end of things. If there are, then it is a more complex matter.

Suggest she make an appointment with her pastor to discuss her situation.


#7

I was wondering the same thing and had actually checked out this forum specifically to ask this question.

What if the husband was a non-practicing Jew or an atheist, and the ceremony was civil? Would an annulment be required, or simply confession? What if two such marriages existed after a civil divorce, would the second also require an annulment, since technically it does not exist in the eyes of the Church?


#8

[quote="1ke, post:6, topic:339156"]
Her first marriage is not valid due to lack of form.

Her second marriage is no valid due to lack of form. The marriage can be convalidated, she should talk to her pastor.

She has received all of her sacraments of initiation, so rectifying her marriage situation is all that needs to be done. ** It is a simple matter, provided there are no prior marriage(s) on her husband's end of things**. If there are, then it is a more complex matter.

Suggest she make an appointment with her pastor to discuss her situation.

[/quote]

I just remembered that her current husband was married before, but not in a Catholic Church. Might be a civil or in some other faith.


#9

[quote="lakotak, post:8, topic:339156"]
I just remembered that her current husband was married before, but not in a Catholic Church. Might be a civil or in some other faith.

[/quote]

Bottom line, she needs to go talk to her pastor and lay out all the facts. There are a lot of variables.


#10

[quote="lakotak, post:1, topic:339156"]
I need an understanding on what I am asking from some of you learned members.

As many of you know, I ask for prayers for my sister quite frequently as she has lymphoma. I am starting to have Masses said for her, not solely because of the cancer, but for a return to the Church.

A little background. My sister was baptized, received 1st Holy Communion and was confirmed in the Catholic faith. However somewhere around the ages of 10 to 12 she was thrust into the situation of living with our father and his mistress, taking her away from our grandmother who raised her in the faith up to that point.

Cindy did not practice nor follow the faith after this. It was a terrible situation that she was locked in. She now follows Protestantism for the most part, the Rapture, etc. The other problem is she has been married twice. The first marriage was a civil marriage resulting in two now grown children. Her current marriage was also a civil marriage. Neither men she married were Catholic.

Now in order for her to actually return to the Church and receive Communion again, what would have to happen concerning these marriages. I am not very familiar with doctrines on marriage. I am really praying hard and will continue to have Masses said for her return, but what would happen regarding the marriage situation if she did.

Any information would be appreciated.

[/quote]

I believe if she were ever on her deathbed and could go soon, I believe as long as she was sorry for her sins, then the priest could absolve her. In cases were death is immenent, I believe the priest can absolve her if she is sorry. To be sure about this, ask your parish priest, and be sure to call him at that time of immenent death if she so desires to be forgiven.

In addition, if you believe in Mary's help, then Mary's green scapular will help her.
Mary appeared to Sister Justine in 1840 and explained to the sister that those who have a blessed green scapular, pray this prayer everyday "O Immaculate Heart of Mary pray for us now and at the HOUR OF OUR DEATH", and have complete trust in Mary that she will obtain the grace of conversion for the sinner, then Mary promised a conversion back to the faith and a peaceful death. And if sinner refuses to take the green scapular, then another person may give them the green scapular anyway, and then say the prayer for them each day, and have trust in Mary to fulfill her promises, then the promises would take place. The scapular could be put in the bed under the mattress, or behind a picture, or somewhere else in the room, hidden.

(continued)


#11

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=620449
(From an atheist)
How did you come to embrace Catholicism?
Strangely enough, it was the Blessed Virgin Mary. That friend of mine had sneakily
snuck in a scapular under my mattress. I didn’t know until about 1 year into my
conversion. I imagine that she had something to do with it. I think it was the
green scapular.

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?p=9630587&posted=1#post9630587
I prayed for my husband a lot as he had been away from the Church for many years. I put a blessed green scapular under the mattress and prayed for him daily, and other family and friends prayed for him also. After several years he finally came back to the Church, and died a very happy man two years after that.

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=544742&page=3
My father, a fallen-away Catholic, passed away several years ago. When he first became ill and was hospitalized, one of the Vincentian priest pinned a Green Scapular to his pillow. I know my mother was especially worried about his salvation, as he had not awakened following emergency surgery. He did awaken many days later, and that same Vincentian asked if he wished to receive the sacraments. He was on a ventilator, so he could not speak, but he could indicate “yes” or “no”, so the priest simply asked if he was sorry for any and all sins he committed, then he was given Extreme Unction. This was 2 years to the day of my auto accident, August 3rd. He died 2 days later, on the Feast of Our Lady of the Snows on August 5th. There is a promise attached to the Green Scapular that Our Lady will obtain the conversion of those who have fallen away from the True Faith. I’m convinced she did so with my father, the day of his death was clearly Providential.

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?p=11044374#post11044374
Although I have been a long wearing brown scauplar - 24/7 - the Green is my favorite. If you read about it - the promises of the Green Scapular do not depend on the person you igve it to - the promises are on you the giver. Yes they need not even know you have placed it in their home.

I offered my Dad a scapular as he was failing in heal - knowing that he did not fully accept his Catholic Faith. He kept it in his pocket. I prayed for five intentions for his death:

  1. That he would not die alone - his greatest fear…
  2. …Or even better that we siblings would be with him
  3. That he would be receive the Anointing of the Sick and Viaticum
  4. For him to die at the great hour of mercy…
  5. …on a great feast day of the Church

After feeling selfish I asked God to grant only one of these and I would know that my prayers with the Green Scapular had been heard.

My Dad died on Holy Saturday at 3:15 PM with all of us at his side after he had been Annointed and given Viaticum at 1:30!

Give those Green Scapulars away and begin to pray!


#12

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