I am new here, I am a widowed mum (42) with 4 children, I have been widowed 5 years now.
I also have a calling to religious life and this has been coming and going for the last 5 years also. I have just joined a 3rd Order Carmelite Group near where I live. I have been twice now.
I do have loads of questions, I hope you don;t mind me shooting straight in with them, as I have looked up stories about nuns and saints, but can;t find any about people in my position.
Basically for the last five years, God showed me Religious life very clearly, but also there were the odd man involved, so I wondered whether I would remarry at some point.
The callings came in between. I just wanted God to tell me what HE wanted…
he kept calling me, and now I have finally joined a carmelite order. I meet a man I would marry last July. We have been getting on very well as friends, I was always aware that I might have to keep myself single to become a full nun once my children are independant.
they are aged 15,14,10 and 9 now.
Recently God has shown me that this man would be right for me, this was very clear indeed. Myself and this man are having some space to pray for Gods will…at the moment.
I am now seriously considering whether I should enter into a romance with this man, I know that I would only do this if I intended to marry him and give him myself fully.
The problem is I am also aware of the fact that God has been calling me to religious life for the last five years.
I can only be a third order secular nun until the children are independant.
however I also can not keep this man waiting forever. He knows about my calling to religious life and this is one of the reasons we have just been getting to know each other as friends. I have now fallen in love with him, so I now feel it is decision time.
I also know that God will bless me and whatever path I choose.
A big part of me wants to give myself fully to Jesus and not a human man, although I do love this man and know that if I gave myself to him, I would give myself fully.
This man has been waiting 10 years for the right person, he is 49 in March and has always wanted children. he wants to marry and have children, he has not said to me, as we have always just stayed friends. But I know by the way he treats me that he cares deeply for me.
I really do not know what to do, I know I have to be patient in the Lord, but also know that God would want me to make the choice.
One of my main questions is, I know I can be a 3rd order carmelite and remarry,
Question - is there anyone known to have become a full nun, community nun and had grown up children.
Question - What is classed as independant, is it age of children, do children have to be out of family home, do children have to be married and settled etc etc.
Obviously I do not know the future, but if I know of any others who have had similar, it might help me think seriously…
anyway hope someone can give insight…