continued from previous post…
I should mention that there are several causes of infertility and most are very treatable! Sometimes people say just relax and it will happen (out of sincerity and meaning well), but that is so difficult to do when you ache to hold a baby and aren’t able to. And if there is a medical underlying reason, it’s best to pursue having it treated, not ignore it. The majority of infertility is due to a problem in the woman’s reproductive system. This isn’t always the case though, and if nothing is found with your wife then you might have to be tested to. I would suggest if it comes to this that you go through the Pope Paul VI institute for that as you can be sure no morally illicit means of testing are used.
As for the heartache caused by not being able to conceive… it is so hard and only those of us who have gone through it will really ever understand. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for close to 6 years now (since we were married), although the first couple of years we thought it would just happen and didn’t start any testing of any kind until 4 years ago. At that time all the doctors we went to found no problem at all with me. That’s crazy, because when we found out about NaPro and began charting and testing we found several things were wrong with me! We had two previous miscarriages, but were still considered infertile because of the almost impossible time we had of conceiving. When we started this program we became pregnant and stayed pregnant for quite a while. Unfortunately we ended up losing this third baby too. In July we are going down to meet Dr. Hilgers and have some more testing done as apparently we haven’t uncovered all my problems yet. But, we have hope and are very optimistic. Infertility is a heartbreaking thing to go through and I want you to know my prayers are with you and your wife. I have found the example of St. Peter’s faith to be a real model - when Jesus asks if the disciples are going to leave like others have (in John 6 I think) and Peter says, “to whom would we go?” and of course the answer is there is noone else to go to. I admit I have felt angry with God and confused about why He is letting this happen to us, but in the end, you must make a conscious decision to carry the cross you’ve been given and to realize that you must follow Christ as there is noone else worthy of following - while He could change our situation, but doesn’t for some reason, still He is the source of our comfort too. I hope that makes sense! I have found my relationship with Christ growing, albeit in a way I never would’ve chosen, by all the suffering we have been through. As for people who don’t want babies and young kids getting pregnant, etc - it is very unfair and hard to see. I imagine, though, that bearing a child and raising him/her may be the way God leads these people to becoming better people and hopefully holy people as that is what He desires above all else for all of us.
There are several saints you can pray to - I would start with asking the intercession of the Old Testament saints like Sarah, Rachel, and Hannah who beggd God for children and were eventually blessed. Also, St. Elizabeth and of course Mary. Especially the Virgin of Guadalupe - this is the only image of Mary where she is seen pregnant. Also, pray to the angel Gabriel, who loves to bring news of new babies! Ask the Giver of Life to show you His mercy and compassion and lovingkindness and to grant you a new life for your family. The good news is that although you are tired of waiting, both you and your wife are young enough to have several children!! You just have to get past this roadblock of finding out what is wrong.
I have been involved in the Creighton method for a couple of years now and am seriously considering becoming an instructor or practitioner (the person that teaches the charting method to couples). If you or your wife have any questions, please feel free to contact me via email or pm and I will be happy to help you however I can.
God bless you!