Good evening, and thank you for the thoughts and inspirations.
I find myself lately struggling with anxiety. First of all, I already take medication for anxiety, but I am pregnant and can’t safely raise my dosage right now. When I talk with my mother, her suggestion is to pray and turn it over to God. I try, but I can’t seem to stop. Whatever the problem is at the moment, it’s like it begins to consume me, and my mind starts racing, and my heart starts racing, and I can’t shut off. Sometimes I can’t sleep! I feel like I’m failing as a Catholic in the most basic tenants of the Faith and not able to simply trust God will take care of everything.
For example, I’ve been having problems with my eye for over a month. First it started as a constant twitch that wouldn’t go away. Sometime this past week it’s turned into a physical pain and pressure on that eye. I’ve seen medical doctors and my eye doctor and they have assured me they’re is nothing wrong physically, but tonight I have been consumed with worries that this “nothing” could be something. What if it’s a tumor? What if it’s cancer? What if it is cancer and I can’t get treatment because I’m pregnant? What if I die because I can’t get treatment? What will happen to my kids? My husband? Would my husband be able to love this baby if it killed me?
This is awful and I need it to stop. I know in my head that it’s all ridiculous, but I just. Can’t. Stop. Worrying. I don’t know what else to do, or what to try. I’ve been desperately praying for weeks over these dumb anxious moments, but I still can’t seem to let it go or move on. How do I move on? Where can I find the strength and courage within our Faith to simply LET THIS ALL GO? How do I simply trust and move on? I need help.