Hello :-). I am new to this forum, and I’m sorry this post ended up being rather long. I look forward to getting to know and sharing with others. Please let me know if you have any suggestions, and thank you in advance!
My husband and I have been married for several years and we are finally taking the steps to get married in the Catholic church (we were married by Justice of the Peace). I put off a Catholic ceremony because the priests with whom I spoke about not being married in the Church told me not to worry about it since we were living across the country away from our family at the time, and to just get it done once we I moved back home. Two priests, from two separate parishes (and diocese) said it was ok and that there was no need to rush. They also said that I could receive the sacraments, and I feel so silly since I should have realized that it was wrong. I joined a new parish, and I freaked out when a priest would not hear my confession since I was not in a Catholic marriage with my husband. He told me to meet with a priest ASAP, which I did. After our first meeting, I had to promise to remain chaste until our wedding is blessed so that I can receive the sacraments, which has made me feel much better.
My husband was not raised in any type of church while growing up, and he still does not go to church. He says that if he ever decides to be baptized, he would do it in a nondenominational church. Overall, he considers himself to be Christian, but he has never gone to church more than a few times here and there, and is not interested in ever going to any type of church on a regular basis. Some of the things that I liked about my husband when we were dating was that he actually had morals, he is pretty rigid in his beliefs, especially respecting one another and our bodies. He also goes out of his way in an effort to do the right thing.
We had an appointment with our priest today, and we were talking about issues relating to raising children in the Catholic faith. We went over the questions that we marked “unsure” or were “red flagged” on our scan-tron marriage questionnaire. For years, my husband said that when we have a child, he would be supportive and active in making sure that they will be raised Catholic. He told me that he would go to church with me as a family when we have a baby, which I thought was great. I think that reality is beginning to set in, since he says now that he will “try” to go to church every weekend. I worry that once our future child is old enough, he or she might not be as willing to go, asking “why doesn’t dad have to go to church”? It feels like I will be on my own with regard to teaching and setting an example for any children that we have, but I feel that there should be some consistency, Ideally, both parents should be role models for their children. As our future child gets older, I’m sure that they will ask why their father gets to stay home instead of going to church. My friend is having this problem with her child, since he would rather watch TV and play games with his dad than go to church.
I told my husband from the beginning that I’m not forcing him to become Catholic, or even to be baptized Catholic, but he said that he wouldn’t be any help when our child has a question about their religion.
Does anyone have any experience in this area/gone through similar things? Any help would be greatly appreciated!