Raising kids Catholic School vs Public


#1

Hi everyone, I am only 20 years old, don’t have kids, but I’m just wondering what you guys think about this?

For some reason, it seems that when kids go to Catholic school there whole lives, they tend to rebel when they’re older and turn away from God. Surely, not everyone, but from the fallaway Catholics I have talked to, that is the case.

Me on the other hand, went to public school, and I was not as close to God until my senior year of high school when I started going to my churches youth group.

One of the fallaway Catholics told me that when he was in Catholic school, with the uniforms and the rules and everything, he just wanted to feel “normal” like the kids who went to public school, and because of this, when he got older, he fell away from the church.

What are your guys thoughts?


#2

I am eternally grateful to my parents for sending me to Catholic schools. I was in public school through grade school, and hated most of it. I did not belong at all, and I knew it even then.

When I switched to a Catholic school I immediately made more friends and was much happier and more comfortable. I went to Catholic high school and college as well, and was fortunate to have had many incredible teachers who were grounded in their faith and had the gift of explaining and sharing it.

I know for certain that this was essential to my staying faithful throughout college as well. Having a church on campus and living in that environment during the years when I "grew up" the most were very important. I have nothing against secular colleges and universities but ultimately they were not the place for me, and I found this out in graduate school. Even now in the workplace when I find it hard to defend my faith I am thankful for the Catholic schooling I had, because I do think I would be lost without it.


#3

[quote="RHannosh619, post:1, topic:223615"]

What are your guys thoughts?

[/quote]

I think that's an excuse.


#4

I went to a catholic grade school and high school. I am glad. It was a positive experience overall. This was in southern Indiana.

I now live in a chicago suburb. The local catholic parish and school in this suburb has been taken over by liberal, progressive, heretics. I would not direct my enemy to this school.

If you are considering a parochial school, check it out carefully. Determine a measurement beforehand. An example is whether the sacrament of penance is used at the school and parish. Are the people that use this sacrament below the age of 70.

If there are any doubts, … at all, I recommend good solid public schools. Use the extra money you save to buy high quality reading material for your home. The Faith and Life series by Ignatius Press is an example. Mom and Dad should go on an annual retreat also - preferably one run by Miles Christi or a similarly orthodox group.

In summary, you can go parochial or public. You have to teach the faith at home though. There is no substitute for the domestic church - the family.


#5

In some areas, there isn't much of a choice. Some communities finance a high school and others are only for elementary.

I'd suggest public school to 4th or 5th grade and then send to a Catholic high school.

I & my 3 sisters only went to public school. My folks regularly attended Mass and we all received our Sacraments through to Confirmation. I'm 50, and back in the day, there wasn't any adult faith formation, and cathechism was necesarily dumped on untrained Catholic Moms (the nuns were retiring and the young female religious were abandoning teaching and convent type living for nursing, social justice endeavers, etc.)

For a short time, my brother attended Catholic elementary school. Even at a young age, "he and the boys" were little hell raisers and he was constantly missing the bus ride home to stay after in detention. He talks about elementary Catholic school as if it were something terrible, but the devilish smile on his school pictures seems to tell a different story.

Needless to say, his behavior and my folks lack of money for tuition, ended any hope of our attending elementary Catholic school.

I count myself extremely fortuneate that God was able to grab my attention (such that it was) what with the sexual abuse scandals etc- and get me back to Mass after being away for almost 20 years.

I credit a lot of my return to the Church to my Dad's stroke, my Mom's death and to the educational programing on EWTN.


#6

I went to a Catholic grade school for 8 years, then a public high school for 4 years. I had a very tough time in grade school. The kids in my class, mostly the boys, were very mean and tomented my friends and I. I had a much easier time of it in high school, but that's not to say that Catholic schools are faulty, it could be that the problem was my school specifically.


#7

[quote="1ke, post:3, topic:223615"]
I think that's an excuse.

[/quote]

Ditto.

Many people I went to school with have used the same excuse. In reality they just wanted to do what they wanted. That's the problem with knowing "the rules". Once informed it's on the individual to make their own decisions.

I will also say that many Catholic schools don't do the best job of catechizing, so many don't know why or what they are really leaving.


#8

It really depends on the area and the school choices available to you.

I had a very good experience at public school, but at that time there was no great Catholic school option.
Now, at the same parish I grew up in, there is a school (K-8), when I am sending my own children. I’m very happy with it overall. We do plan on sending our kids to public high school, though… I think it’s important to have exposure outside of the isolated private school setting at some point (personal opinion) in order for the kids to learn how to navigate and stay Catholic despite the obstacles… especially at a time when they’re still living at home. This is just my opinion, but if they haven’t learned how to defend their faith out in “the world” (ie, public school) BEFORE going off to college, then it can be VERY difficult to stay Catholic when they’re not being “forced” to go to Mass with mom & dad every week.
But, then again, we have very good public schools in our area - so I don’t know if I’d have these same opinions under different circumstances…

Just my thoughts…


#9

Even the best of catholic schools is a rotten substitute for a family life in which the faith is lived, embraced and loved by the parents. A good catholic school can HELP good catholic parents. A bad catholic school can undermine good catholic parents.

Apathetic parents or those who choose the catholic school for its great football program or mere private school snob appeal, but fail to be living examples of the faith necessarily instead send their kids the message that catholicism is a bunch of malarky that they, as KIDS must endure until they are old enough to outgrow it - like their parents obviously have. THAT kind of catholic school kid WILL rebel ferociously.

Bottom line: You can't buy an example for your kids that you are unwilling to live yourself. But if you live the faith yourself, a good catholic school can be a big help.


#10

[quote="1ke, post:3, topic:223615"]
I think that's an excuse.

[/quote]

Uhh excuse for what...


#11

I am 20 years old, I am not married, I plan on getting married and having kids in about 6-7 years…

Why is it that people always just try to shoot down others on these forums, or try to expose others “faults”. As if its a “wrong” to not send a child to catholic school, fyi, its perfectly fine for kids to go to public school…

I am a VERY devout Catholic, its really annoying that you guys think I’m trying to “make an excuse” and not send my kids to catholic school(the kids that won’t be born for 7 years btw)? Like seriously guys c’mon, can’t we all just be loving and discuss things?

Thanks for all of the nice responses I got


#12

[quote="RHannosh619, post:11, topic:223615"]
I am 20 years old, I am not married, I plan on getting married and having kids in about 6-7 years...

Why is it that people always just try to shoot down others on these forums, or try to expose others "faults". As if its a "wrong" to not send a child to catholic school, fyi, its perfectly fine for kids to go to public school...

I am a VERY devout Catholic, its really annoying that you guys think I'm trying to "make an excuse" and not send my kids to catholic school(the kids that won't be born for 7 years btw)? Like seriously guys c'mon, can't we all just be loving and discuss things?

Thanks for all of the nice responses I got

[/quote]

I don't think they meant you were using an excuse, but the fallenaway Catholic used as an example used his experience in his Catholic school to leave the Catholic faith. Many people that leave the faith, tend to blame their Catholic school education, and its usually just an excuse instead of looking at themselves for why they leave. Its easier to use their Catholic education as a scapegoat.


#13

Yikes! I never said in my post that it was wrong to send kids to public school. You read into that.

I did mean your friends are using their education as an excuse for their leaving the faith. My kids currently go to public school because we can’t afford the schools where we currently live, but I did go to Catholic school K-12. They were very orthodox schools but the kids who I went to school with who left their faith always say the school or the Church in general is oppressive. Actually they just wanted to do whatever they wanted.

Thanks PatriceA for helping me out.


#14

Be careful to avoid the assumption that all Catholic schools are just as good as each other (and by extension, better than every single public school out there). My parents sent me to a Catholic school for two years and even to this day those rank by far as the worst two years of my life. In many ways there were even more problems with the kids I had to deal with there than in public school. I also went to a non-denominational Christian school for several years when I was younger and my experience there was much better too. It's important to get a feel for the individual school itself rather than falling back on some label.


#15

I haven't read all of these comments, but there is no way I would even consider sending my "kids" to a public school -- at least not in California. The local Catholic grammar school is absolutely stupendous -- you go into that school and you know there is a lot going on there -- all of the halls are decorated, depending on the liturgical year or the country's holiday. We have a "prayer partner" program and the 4th grade is my prayer partner -- they pray for me and I pray for them. A number of years ago when my husband passed away, and I walked into that funeral Mass and the 4th grade was there, I literally broke down -- but their teacher told me that they had been praying for my husband for so long, sending him "get well" cards, etc. they wanted to go to his funeral.
When my "kids" went to this school many years ago there were 50 in a class -- AND all of my children are well educated -- one is a lawyer -- one has a PhD and teaches at a Jesuit university -- and the youngest works with the deaf and teaches Sign Language at a junion college.
I am forever grateful I was able to send them to Catholic schools -- grade school -- high school -- universities (not all three but one).
I might add that years ago I taught 6th grade CCD and I can assure you that there was only one or two in that class I could call upon to read!!!


#16

Catholic schools these days are a joke in Canada, and I'm sure that (in general) they're not much better in America. There probably are a few good Catholic schools out there, but they're far and few between the number of awful ones there are.

I go to a Catholic school that hardly teaches anything about the faith, making it unsurprising why more than half of the students seem to possess some sort of deistic beliefs or no belief at all. If you want your kid to be properly catechized, don't rely on school systems. You need to do that yourself. A Catholic school may give you a base for your faith, but it pretty much ends there.

Now I'm not saying public schools are any better (they're worse, if anything), but I'm just saying don't rely on Catholic schools to teach your kids about the faith if you have any.


#17

I graduated from high school in 2009 and went to Catholic school until finished the tenth grade. I am still traumatized by the horrific experience

Public school was fantastic for me. There were some really anti-Catholic students, but no one ever messed with me because I was one of the cool kids


#18

So what was the horrific experience you speak of? You have us all curious. OK, well me anyways.

It’s hard to see somebody make such a hugely negative statement and not wonder what it is that they did to you.

What province are you in? Ontario, land of the publicly funded Catholic Schools?


#19

There are NO absolutes. It all depends on the child and his or her personality, the environment and Catholic content/teachings in the Catholic schools, the qualty and environment of the public schools available.

Wait and see. You may have kids for whome Catholic schools 'click' and you are VERY pleased with the schools. You may find the available catholic schools not very Catholic and, for instance, filled with wealthy, rude kids. Also, you have to see what is available in the public school systems.

Again, there are NO absolutes. Most of my kids LOVE Catholic school, but one I am sure would do very well also in public school. One of our Catholic schools is very faith based, the other...not so much.

Taben


#20

[quote="rskempf, post:4, topic:223615"]
I went to a catholic grade school and high school. I am glad. It was a positive experience overall. This was in southern Indiana.

I now live in a chicago suburb. The local catholic parish and school in this suburb has been taken over by liberal, progressive, heretics. I would not direct my enemy to this school.

If you are considering a parochial school, check it out carefully. Determine a measurement beforehand. An example is whether the sacrament of penance is used at the school and parish. Are the people that use this sacrament below the age of 70.

If there are any doubts, ... at all, I recommend good solid public schools. Use the extra money you save to buy high quality reading material for your home. The Faith and Life series by Ignatius Press is an example. Mom and Dad should go on an annual retreat also - preferably one run by Miles Christi or a similarly orthodox group.

In summary, you can go parochial or public. You have to teach the faith at home though. There is no substitute for the domestic church - the family.

[/quote]


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