My husband and I raised two daughters and then became Catholic. We wish we had had more children, but we went along with the crowd and “limited” our family.
Your question about finances depends on a lot of variables. For example, certain parts of the country are a lot more expensive than other parts.
My husband and I live in a small city about 65 miles away from Chicago. 25% of the people who live in our city work in Chicago. Housing is so incredibly cheap here that their income buys a whole lot more house than they could ever buy in the Windy City or the suburbs. So they move here.
So choose a city that has cheap housing and you will have a lot more money to spend on your family.
Another variable is what your kids get involved in. Some activities are cheaper than others.
Our daughters were figure skaters. VERY expensive sport, as are almost all of the ice skating sports (hockey, speedskating, etc.)
But other sports are fairly cheap. E.g., track and field clubs are not expensive, and the kids are participating in a sport that will possibly earn them a college scholarship someday, unlike figure skating.
Of course, you can always say “no” to all of it, and your kids will work and play around your house and neighborhood. Nothing wrong with that, and it’s a lot cheaper.
As a parent, though, I really enjoyed being able to afford skating and other interests for my kids, and now that they are grown up, they still enjoy this sport. (One daughter coaches and makes more money per hour than I do.) It’s good when kids have something that is “theirs.”
One more variable is the homemaking skill of your wife. A good wife truly is valuable, as Proverbs 31 says! I came into marriage not knowing how to cook, sew, decorate, do various cleaning jobs, grow a garden, or do any of the homemaking arts. My husband didn’t really mind. But I often regret my lack of skill, as we always have to pay for all these things (except cooking, but we do eat out a lot, about 5-6 times week because the restaurant food tastes better than my cooking.)
It may sound like some kind of “business” for a young man to seek a woman who is skilled in homemaking, but I guarantee that you will save a fortune if you marry someone who can cook well, sew, garden, and take care of her house (wallpaper, painting, simple home repairs, etc.).
I hope some of these suggestions are helpful.
And BTW, I agree with the poster who said that it’s YOU and YOUR WIFE, not you, your wife, and your parents. A young man should LEAVE his mother and father and cling to his wife and they should be one flesh. It is a misery for a woman to be married to a man who has not cut the ties with his parents. I grew up in such a household and it was awful.