Rant / Advice on Any of these?


I've just fallen apart tonight for some reason, and all the things in my life that are bothering me just seem to flow to my head, so I thought maybe someone would have some good advice for me on any of the following. If not, I just need to let it out...

a) I just joined the Church at Easter (Yay!) and am happy. My parents, who were supportive when I made the announcement a year ago, waited until about a month before I joined the church to start really lathering on a bunch of anti-Catholic rhetoric / doubts about me joining. I even asked my dad not to come to the confirmation, but he did anyway, and was pouty about it.

b) My sister (also not supportive) just got married in January, and I haven't been taking it well. He's a great guy, which almost makes it worse. What in the world did she do to deserve so much happiness when I'm stuck in this single nightmare thing? I was so mad that she was able to wake up next to her DH every day for the rest of her life, and I didn't even know when I'd see my BF again. Yes, I'm uspet that she gets to have sex and I don't. And I am mad because the next thing she is going to do is have a baby, and then all these feelings will come back with a vengeance - baby envy, etc. And I get mad because she's not very religious...and I guess I kind of feel that the average guy would pick me over her if given the chance...and I've lost my best friend and travel buddy. It's been better than when they were first married, because she's not so obnoxious about it anymore, but it still hurts that she is actually doing what women are supposed to be doing and I'm not.

c) I'm in a relationship that's going nowhere quickly. A few months ago some people on CAF gave me some great advice on this, and I had a plan to call my BF out on whether or not this was ever going to turn into marriage, and if so if he could give me at least a ballpark figure of when, etc. However, I don't get to see him again for a week, so that is when this was all scheduled to take place. Now he thinks he may have to work, and I wanted to just call him back and tell him it was over. But he has been working for 30 straight days, mostly 16 hour days, and people around him are dropping like flies (getting fired). He's stressed and also trying to find a new job at the same time (a job that should allow us to date like normal). One that should prevent him from ever having to cancel a date again (LDR, by the way, so "dates" are once a month). So here I am on the verge of having our relationship start to progress again and getting very upset because I don't feel as important as his job. Except I know how scary it is to say no to a mean boss, and I know he's really trying. We're both frustrated that he hasn't found anything yet.

d) I don't see a lot of purpose in my life. I live alone and am just...lonely. I volunteer at a pregnancy crisis center, have a new puppy, and have a roommate I see about 3 days of the week. But most of the time I'm alone (with the dog). And when I'm not volunteering, I don't know what to do. I literally could just go home and stare into space - which is why I spend a lot of time on CAF. (And it keeps me in touch with people). Because I am in a dating relationship, I no longer feel driven to "get out there" and meet people like I did in college. I want to get married and have a family, but I know that's years away probably, if it happens. And if it doesn't, I don't think I have a vocation, so I just don't know what to do. It seems pointless...or, maybe like summer vacation felt when I was a kid - it just goes on forever and forever, and you can only handle so much "free time."

I can probably guess what a lot of people would say to these, but it couldn't hurt to hear the truth from some good people.


you don’t live your life waiting for an angel to announce your vocation, you pick up your cross every day and do the task at hand every moment. That is your vocation. Yes the framework in which you live it out can and will change–in marriage, in religious life, single and chaste–but the task is the same, day in and day out. Serve. Find someone to serve. I guess you don’t mean you literally sit with the dog all day, you work, serve at work, serve in your volunteer apostolate, but serve. Focus on the needs and well-being of others, not yourself. Become your sister’s best friend and share in her happiness. Support your bf when he comes home from an exhausting work week, and don’t insist on being entertained --that is setting up a bad pattern for marriage in any case. Service is the answer.


You have a purpose. Discern this to find out what it is. You seem impatient. Mr Right…Right now.
Life is not made of simple accomplishments that we experience. Then we are onto the next one. Your vocation could very well be to be married. But, you have to get out there to meet Mr Right.


This is brilliant advice.

I wrote two further paragraphs of advice to you, and then I deleted them. They’d be superflous.



Look at this site. Then look at the organizations connected to it.


While I agree with what is said above, you also seem to be yearning to get out of what our materialistic society is pushing. Consider this path as a way to engage with another reality.


now that you are done ranting (which can be very helpful when you are feeling down, blue and alone) get to work.

I know exactly how you feel. In fact, sometimes I feel like everything I have done for the past 18 years is a big giant joke.

Then, I remember that happiness is not an end unto itself…it is a by-product of living a life that is second to none.

And that is what I have - because while I have absolutely NOTHING in my life that I want, I have EVERYTHING I need.

So…get to work, kid, and be of maximum service to God and to others.:wink:


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