I contacted my local parish in July and told them I wanted to convert, and I’ve been coming to weekly mass since then, and part of RCIA since August.
I want to become Catholic because I feel like the fullness of Christ is in the Church in the way that it isn’t in Protestant churches. I was baptized in a Southern Baptist church 15 years ago when I was 18. After 3 years, I started going to an Assembly of God church. I stopped going to church for four years, and then felt a very strong desire to return to the Lord last February. (Ironic this desire came during Lent). I was immediately lead to the Catholic church, rather than to my old churches (long story).
If someone were to ask me the primary reason why I want to be Catholic, I would tell them it is because of the Eucharist. From the very first time I ever came to Mass, I could feel the presence of the Lord really there. Even though I don’t participate in Mass, I don’t need to participate to feel that presence. I have come to empty sanctuaries several times to pray before the tabernacle- and it is really comforting to have such a holy place open all of the time for prayer. There are other reasons, too, but that is probably the primary reason.
So, my question, and why I am posting is because I am not feeling right about a few things in the RCIA process I am going through. I was happy with everything until maybe a week or two ago. First, I don’t know who my sponsor is supposed to be, and we are supposed to go through the Rite of Welcoming very soon. Someone was assigned and then was “reassigned” for some unknown reason. That just doesn’t make me feel good, especially since we’ve been doing RCIA for two months. Second, we were supposed to have a time of spiritual reflection as a group before the Rite of Welcoming, but that’s been changed, and it’s not really going to happen. I feel slightly resentful- as if I have been gyped out of something really precious and important. I am not going to complain, but I wish that they had chosen to handle this differently.
But what really bothers me is this… I am not a catechumate, but I am scheduled to go through everything the catechumate are with the BOW at mid-mass during the rest of the RCIA process until Easter. I don’t mind that- even though I really, really, in my heart feel that I am ready for first communion, and wish I could just have that sacrament, what bothers me is that they want me and my children to have all of our sacraments at the same time on Holy Saturday. Which means that I will not be able to participate or even witness my children being baptized, because I’ll be at the front of the church going through another part of the ritual. And it means that it is going to be stressful and chaotic and I have no idea who is going to take care of my infant who is going to be baptized right before or after I am receiving the sacraments. I don’t think it should all happen on the same day, and I am bothered by this.
I am asking myself why I am so bothered by this- and if it is the Holy Spirit telling me that this isn’t right, or if it is just the enemy attacking my decision to join the Church and receive the sacraments.
I would appreciate opinions. Thanks