Reactionary lying

how do I get out of this habit?

sometimes if I get asked difficult questions, I will just automatically blurt out something without really thinking and realize after the fact that what I said was untrue.

but the heart of the matter is, I don’t really want to answer that question or tell the person the truth because they will get angry and make thinga more difficult

for example, someone asked me yesterday what kinds of things I post on facebook and I automatically answered “just church stuff”, after I said it, I realize that, of course, there were other things but for the most part, it is mainly catholic stuff that I share. but this person doen’st even want me to have a facebook account and is always trying to tell me who I should or shouldn’t add as friends and that I shouldn’t post every detail of my life, which I don’t even do anyways.

it was just really late at night and I was super tired and just frustrated at all this questioning but of course, now I feel like I lied

I suppose it’s just my scrupulosity right? I just always feel like leaving out parts of truth also seems like lying. I also know that it’s ridiculous to try and tell every single little detail of truth. but I just feel guilty because I know I’m withholding information that this person is looking for because telling them will just make things worse for me

i just went to confession yesterday too. and i feel like God is always giving me a test when i get out of confession, and i always fail it and commit another sin.

Prayer for you said. Some of this does sound like scrupulosity, but it’s probably not for me to say. You know best whether you really have an issue with honesty or not. Please, as embarrassing as it may seem, seek out your priest, even if it is in confession, about this. Also, confessing to the same person regularly can help.

You seem very young, but as you get older a good thing to remember is that not everyone needs every iota of the truth. You don’t have to tell the whole story to everyone to be honest, just don’t deliberately deceive.

You don’t mention in your post WHO this person is to you who doesn’t want you to have a facebook page?..is he/she a spouse, a child of yours? A parent? A friend ? A relative? An aquaintance?..and you dont mention in your post WHY you need to tell them.anything about the page at all…?

Maybe if you give us extra details posters can give you some advice on how to deal with the situation the next time it arises :smiley:

But personally, I dont think you sinned, its not like you are expected to list everything you have ever posted or said on facebook each time someone asks what you post on facebook .:slight_smile:

a parent, I am an adult but there is still a lot of micromanaging going on

If you are an adult and its a parent, and they are only asking so that they can criticize what you post etc…when they ask simply say mom/dad I do not wish to discuss this topic /my facebook page with you…if they say why not…just say everytime the subject is brought up, they react by saying (say what they do everytime your facebook page is mentioned by them)…

Then change the subject, if they still try and raise the subject, then leave the room or something…

I hope this helps :slight_smile:

You alone know if you are spreading a web of lies. You might get caught up in lies. I can’t say that I have never lied, but generally things fall into a couple of categories.

I think we all are under no obligation to reveal the details of everything we do. Rather than lying, there might be a better way to deflect the question, by asking (politely) what do you mean? are you concerned about something? (there’s lots to be concerned about with facebook) or, generalize by saying there’s lot of things you chat about.

There’s the election coming up, there’s the water crisis in Flint Michigan, lots of strange crimes out there, etc. Lots of things to talk about on facebook.

I’ve hired people who were lying about everything, lying about themselves, hiding their feelings to get a job with a big company, etc. Lying has become “endemic” for so many reasons.

The Flint Water Department lied to the Michigan Dept of Environmental Quality about the results of lead in drinking water, which led to the exposure of thousands of people to lead in the drinking water. The governor of Michigan was covering up when he became aware of problems with the Flint drinking water. (It had been in the newspapers for months before he admitted anything.)

Are you a chronic liar? I don’t know. Stop and think about how YOU would like to be lied to. How does that make you feel? You should think that there was something wrong with that, I hope. Well, why would you think other people would like to be lied to?

that’s the thing, sometimes I don’t even realize that what I said was untrue until after the fact. I don’t know if that’s still considered lying. I could just not be thinking or just forget parts of things

I don’t like to lie, I just don’t always want to give answers to everything asked

I see that your question was answered today in an Ask An Apologist thread:
Is reactionary lying a mortal sin?
The reply also has a link to great article, “Is Lying Ever Right?”

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