[quote="losh14, post:17, topic:240027"]
Now to your second question - the imminent issue prompting all this. This girl you work with. She would be bad news even if you had ever "gotten any":
Sounds flattering, but this is the sign of someone who is very possessive and jealous. My first lover was exactly this way. Even after she dumped me (in a screaming fight she initiated in front of the library), she'd invite me to her house and open the door wearing only her bathrobe, and follow me to parties and threaten girls I was talking with.
That's not respect, dude. Respect is "I won't offer but I'll be your friend." Think of if it were reversed - she's the virgin and you're the guy begging her for sex. You know what that is? Harassment. You can get fired for that. She could put a restraining order on you or have you arrested.
So she's involved with someone, not committed to him, and she's either going to use you for her own sexual gratification - demanding that you give something you can only give one person so she can taste it - and possibly get your hide beaten by this boyfriend. This is bad
. Guys get murdered over things like this.
Crikey, man, do you want to be that guy in the kids' lives that their mom sleeps with when their daddy isn't home?
For the immediate situation:
1) This girl will only break your heart.
2) What if you get her pregnant? Do you want that burden before you're done with college? Can you support her and her two other kids?
3) You're setting a really bad example for how her kids should relate to men.
4) Her boyfriend will kick your butt.
5) I will kick your butt.
For the future:
1) Trust me, as a guy who had 9 women before he had his wife, you don't want this baggage. You don't want to have unwelcome sexual thoughts about girls you broke off with long ago. You don't want to have a masturbation habit (which is really easy to develop after a relationship of non-stop sex ends). You don't want to have to confess this. You don't want to have to think of yourself differently, or look at girls differently. And you really, really don't want want to have to tell your wife that she's not the first lover you had, just the next.
2) The natural consequences: babies, stds, jealous boyfriends. Broken condom? Scary. Missed period? I'd rather have my car stolen. Shotgun wedding to become stepdad to some other guy's two kids - do you really want this for yourself, Nick? Do you really want to have to face these choices?
3) Hey, did I ever tell you how much it is to have an STD test? They take a q-tip, a really big one, and they shove it up your urethra. Might as well douse the sucker in rubbing alcohol and light it on fire, that's what it feels like. And to get the test so your parents don't find out, you can't go to your doctor because it shows up on insurance. You get to go to Planned Parenthood. You get to cross the picket lines of anti-abortion protestors and sit in the waiting room with pregnant 15-year-olds who are going to murder their babies that day. Nick, that sucks. That really sucks. You don't want this.
3) The emotional consequences: girls who cling to you and follow you - as this one surely will. Girls who see sex a promise guys make with their bodies, not just their mouths. And they're right - for a girl to let a guy be her lover is to let him physically inside her body. That's no small feat, that's not insignificant or "just sex" no matter who tells you that. Casual sex is a myth, Nick, unless your heart is so calloused by rejection and failed relationships that all you think you're worth is seven minutes of arousal, seven seconds of pleasure and a lot of time to think about it afterwards.
C'mon man, you're better than this. You're certainly worth more than what this girl with the two kids and the live-in boyfriend and the unlimited text message plan can offer you.
If I come off feeling harsh, I apologize, but I feel like I'm talking to an 18-year-old version of myself. And I wish I had, man.
:clapping::clapping::clapping::sad_yes: Great post, like a nice bucket of cold water over his mixed up head.
(BTW, some of us are not "protesters" at PP, we are praying and sidewalk counseling. In fact, most Catholics do not do the type of protesting that has been done in the past, because we know it doesn't work. We stand and pray our rosaries, and give out information if we can access the clients. But your point is valid - going to PP does suck, and that's just IF his gf doesn't really get pregnant and decide to abort his child.)