There’s always been family **** in my family or origin, especially with my mother. She has so many deep-seated issues that I don’t know how she even functions. I’ve prayed to our Saviour Jesus, asking that His Mother would speak and soothe the hearts of both my mother and father (I get along very well with my Dad, always have) and especially settle my mother’s many issues so she and my father–and the rest of us as an extended family–can be at peace.
Yesterday, all of us kids and our families gathered at my folks’ house last night for early Christmas celebrating. The evening was going SO extremely well–and my mother had even made small relational strides with me in the weeks previous–and then she launched a verbal and emotional salvo at me that left the gathering in shambles, many of us in tears and my husband so livid it’s a wonder he settled enough to get some sleep. I for sure didn’t.
I know that our Saviour Jesus is right next to me at this moment, but right now, I’m so weary and worn with the whole thing that I just don’t even give a flip about praying for her anymore. I’m just so discouraged that I want to say (pardon the vernacular) “screw her”. Permanently.