Thank you for your compassion.
I can only say that as Job did I have been very blessed in the flesh, and when the Drs told my parents that at 12yrs they were going to take the life lines away from me, after shattering my skull from a head injury, a nun said the sign of the cross as dad told me to come on time to get up for school. I responded to the signing of the cross and my hand moved( so dad told me) I was in a coma for three weeks. The Dr saw my hand move and they kept the suport there and I got through it. I would like to carry on if ou don't mind because it relates to the praise and cussing by others.
10 months latter I went into another coma and was found to have menengitus, which they found I had a very long split in my scull, I had been knocked off my bike by a drunk driver. Latter it was a case of the operation killing or curing me Drs didn't know (1st opp like this in the world). I prayed to St Anthony for money I wanted to take to the hospital and had lost. I know I was told to fill a ditch i it being dangerious and in doing so there was the match box with my money in it (the first time of hearing God speak to me).
For me, this is when it all started happening, because i realised that where Dr's gave me up there had to be a God who I guessed was Love who really cared about me and wanted me alive for a reason. So, I offered my life to God since I knew now that love cannot hate and cannot do wrong to me so why not give my life over to this God who is Love.All went quite normal really and I got married and it wasn't until in the mid 20s on a retreat that i asked God for a person to guide me and in amongst the books on retreat i asked God for a person there right in the middle was a book called "A retreate with St Therese" I read it fell in love with the "little way" learned to denigh my flesh and live looking for as many ways to denigh. My first test ( if it's that) was on retreat when I felt that I could turn off the hot water ( it was the middle of winter) I said "God I cn't do this but You can" right then the hot water went off and I put my arms out in the form of the cross, and said "Yes Lord"
that was the first sign for me. andit grew and grew.
I have been so blessed and God's miricals and gifts to me are uncountable and astronomical in size at times. But in taking the good I have to be able to take what acts against the normal of the flesh, what we might call bad. I lost much a marrage a daughter almost my wife through her not listening to me, and much more, but...in all this I can only say The Lord gives and it is His to take at His will, praise be the Lord. I have been given a gift NO person can take from me and that counts more "love" is the gift i asked for want more and need to survive and that is all I need. No one can take it from me for my whole being is through and through in and out filled with a Love that only God has control of.
You might like this which I wrote yesterday morning from a dream.
"Love cloths herself in Humility,
Feeds herself on Mercy,
and lives by having Compassion for her children.
Love gives them Grace to live by, For love is ALL".
Love is ..."I AM"