Really need some moral adivce. My tank is empty


#1

Hey all,

I've really been going through a tough time lately, spirtually.

To cut to the chase, I feel like I'm losing all my morals. It feels like everything is right- and nothing is wrong. I have a theory as to why I feel this, but I don't want to lose my morals. I want to be a good person, not a scandelous (sp.) one.

So how do you think I get my morals back? I can explain more about my situation if you ask. But please help if you can. I'm desperate at this point to be like I used to. :( :( :(

Thanks,
cooldude.


#2

I’m not really sure I understand.

But, regarding morals, the first step is to properly form your conscience. Properly forming your conscience means using the sure norms of the Catholic Church as your guide of what is right and what is wrong. The Catechism and other church documents contain those sure norms.

The next step is to act according to your well-formed conscience.

So, ultimately, following God’s law is an act of your will. As is choosing to go against God’s law.


#3

look to the Gospels, to Christ, and pray about this.

when i face a crisis or issue or moral confusion, i immediately pray about it. i tell God everything, even the embarassing parts, and ask His help and perspective. i know He can give it, and does not want us to live in moral confusion or relativism.

i know what you mean, though. it feels weird, and very disconcerting. but there is help, thanks to God.


#4

I like this.

Can you explain more? (if possible).

I just want to get back on track. I’m so lost/bewildered/confused/hopeless right now.


#5

well, do you have any bad influences in your life?
bad influences are usually the main cause of a loss of good morals, our friends effect us in ways we don’t even realize, but unfortunately the answer to that problem is a hard one, no human being is worth losing your soul over, like Jesus says, if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off, the same goes for people we know,
of course you don’t want to be scrupulous about it, there are people who sometimes make us give way to anger or some other thing, and that’s not so serious, but there are some people who are just down right bad influences, people who don’t care about anything and don’t believe in anything(or believe in very bad things)who are just falling swiftly into hell and dragging you with them…and when you think about it…what kind of friend is that? no friend at all if you ask me…
here is a good book you can read right online, just the first chapter if you want, it will explain a great deal on true friendship…
columbia.edu/cu/augustine/arch/chastity.html

of course now if that has nothing at all to do with what you are going threw then i just wasted all my time typing that out D_D

well, how to get your morals back is easy enough, pray every day, read the life of Jesus, get closer to God, learn to know and love Him, and do alot of spiritual reading, especially the lives and writings of the saints, you need good examples and influences in your life, and if you can’t find anyone in person, you can at least find it in the saints,
learn all about good morals, what they are and why they are good, and also learn about bad morals and why they are wrong, because even if you know whats good and why it’s good, you still may turn to something bad and just think to yourself “well i don’t know why it’s really bad, and i don’t see what it’s hurting” you see?
it’s very important to learn morals and virtues and right from wrong, God made us learning creatures, we are meant to learn things, it’s one of our purposes and joys in life…well…i don’t want to get off topic here,
so if that’s not at all what you meant, then please explain.


#6

Going through a tough time spiritually or any other way is usually a sign of growth, or at least an opportunity to do so. Growth means change, and the usual for mode of growth is transcendence and incorporation. eg, atoms make molecules which incorporate them, but transcend them in nature. Very simplistic, but it goes on up.

One of the trickiest areas for "growth" is morals. Being Catholic, you have accepted a "code" of morals that comes with the general world view of Catholicism. Part of that world view is that Catholicism is the One, True, Holy, and Apostolic Church. So all of its morals are seen through the lens of whatever supports that world view. Other people of other religions, or not, have the same ind of "empty tank syndrome" at some time and for whatever reason.

You are on here, so I would expect that you wish a Catholic answer, though th Chi Rho implies something much more universal than just the Church. But that is another story. I assume that you want to remain within the parameters of Catholicism, and for now that is fine, of course. So it might be good, therefore, to see what might be at the root of morality, Catholic or not.

This is discernible in your Catholic Bible, if that is your source material you wish to use. There it says "Love thy neighbor as thyself, for the love of me." There are some translational assumptions made about the grammar of that in English, which are potentially very misleading, but in general, it is an adequate and useful translation functionally. It is, fundamentally a statement of the Golden Rule in both its positive and negative forms: Do unto others what you would have done unto yourself, and don't do unto others what you wouldn't do unto yourself. These ideas have to do with unity of perspective, as distinct from the usual good/bad binary thinking of morality which is just a beginning stage.

It also says "Love God with thy whole heart and whole mind. Not parts of your hear or mind, the whole thing. That ties in far mor intimately with the Neighbor part than the Church can ever tell you. But you can discover it for yourself, just from that, if need be. Integrity of mind and heart is the best defense against stupidity and immorality both. It is also the strongest foundation, as it can be made of Rock.

So this is the root of morality, and it has a very practical and far deeper implication than you might find in the Church, though as you have it it is very adequate functionally, and you may have to grow a bit to be able to appreciate its depth. A kindergartener is never taught as if they are a graduate student. Appreciate where you are and what you have. Depth will come with your decision and ability to practice soundly. And remember, it is practice, so don't get too hard on yourself, yet keep your energy up.

Basically Basiclaly all that means to put yourself in someone else's shoes and view your action as its recipient rather than as its "doer." In one system that is called a "turn-around" and is used after an honest appraisal of what your intended or past action actually is/was. It is a very useful mental tool.

Of course, I don't know your problem, so all of this is basically theoretical. In Borneo they say "all knowledge is theoretical until it is in the muscle." That just means they differentiate between practical experience and theory, something we tend to get confused about sometimes. But changing your perspective on your consideration can help.

Turning it around can also be embellished by other factors. Exaggerate the considered action. Play it out in another context. Put two people on an imaginary stage in front of you and play your scene, asking what those two people could use as resources in that situation, and use, then, your entire inventory of ideas from all your sources as possible support. In any case, be honest with yourself as to what you are really doing. If you have a trusted friend who is level headed and has a track record or reputation as a problem solver, ask them for their help. Prayer is good, if done to change yourself, not God. You can also ask yourself to solve the dilemma in your sleep by having it on your mind as you doze off.

In any case, there is much you can do, and you are likely much stronger and intelligent than you give yourself credit for. You are, always, in the Arms of Love. Always remember that.


#7

well, when i feel like i'm kind of heading off the deep end on an issue (not sure which end is up, getting confused, etc.) i take it to the Lord. i know His judgements and perspective is right, all the time, i let Him know my problem (in detail and all honesty), and earnestly ask for His perspective on the given issues.

then, i go to the Bible, to see what His Word has to say on the matter. i know the Bible contains His thoughts, mandates, judgements, and standards, and that i can always trust its Truth and content. i keep praying, and in time God answers, works in my understanding, and guides me back on track.

it may not happen a day or an hour or a week after i pray, but i keep praying, sudying His Word, and trusting Him. i've gotten confused on issues like homosexuality, whether or not it is "ok" to give into worldly or sinful enjoyement "sometimes", and in much more general ways, what is right and wrong.

God does promise to guide us and keep us in Him, in Christ Jesus, and His promises are true. sometimes we get confused or disoriented morally and spiritually, and God's prepared to help us and restore us to right and sound thinking. just pray, trust Him, and earnestly seek His perspective and help. He will give it.

how do you ususally handle these confusing spells?

[quote="coolduude, post:4, topic:178189"]
I like this.

Can you explain more? (if possible).

I just want to get back on track. I'm so lost/bewildered/confused/hopeless right now.

[/quote]


#8

Well, grace_singh, I haven't encountered this before. This is the first time. And it really stinks. I used to be very holy and moral, etc., now I'm almost the total opposite. I just need some guidance. So I'll take you're advice to heart until I can figure out everything on my own.

The problem is, though, when I pray I feel as though I'm talking to myself. In contrast, I used to feel a Presence there when I prayed. Now it's gone. Like
I said, I'm talking to myself. I still pray though.

Emerald wings: there I many bad influences. My parents, brother, girlfriend, and a few other friends are good. But I go to a terrible school (a Catholic
one) where the people are just terrible. There are a lot of parties, drinking, sex, and drugs and the other students always talk about it. Eventually
it gets to you. I wouldn't mind transfering, but that's another story.

Also, has anyone ever heard of a Catholic school
offering a (1) semester of Theology? Well at my school they do at my school.

So I'm in a bad situation, caught between a rock and a hard place.


#9

*Matt 22: 36-38
"Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?"
He said to him, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.
This is the greatest and the first commandment. *

There is far to much over complication in this simple problem.
Just reflect on this first step and look to the cross to see how much you are loved.
Ask yourself (** How much is to much for God ?** )

God sets the true standard of morals will you keep offending him?

Keep the faith brother my prayers are with you !!


#10

Cool dude Holy dude would be much better. (my humble opinion sry)
We are called to be a light to the world even when those around us are in such a dark place. And especially because of those people you need to shine with your faith. I know where you are coming from trust me I have been there. Those prayers are heard you need to trust that God knows the right answer.
Remember we know how this story ends We who persist WIN :thumbsup:


#11

In times like this, I suggest a hearty dose of Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis.

I really hope you read it.

In the meantime, I will of course be praying for you.


#12

cool ~

everyone goes through a period of spiritual darkness or aridity. it happens, though knowing it is common doesn't tend to make that journey through a dark valley any less troubling or upsetting. tell God about this, too. He is your Father, and He loves you.

even if it doesn't feel much like God is "right there", keep talking to Him. let Him know what is on your heart, about your emptiness, distress, and confusion. Jesus teaches us to relate to Him just like a loving and Almighty Father, who already knows our worries but who wants to hear it from us, too. i suggest you keep praying. keep it short and simple and honest. read His Word, and see what He has to say on darkness, trouble, difficulty, and grief. don't try to get through this on your own, or rely on your own "morality" or goodness to rally you. rely on Him. maybe the Lord is trying to get you to do just that through this dark period.

Job went through this, and so did Jeremiah. yet God spoke to both of them in His time, reassured them, and used them to bless others. through Job we have the Book of Job, and a very wise and Spirit-breathed guide to understanding suffering and trials. through Jeremiah Judah had the chance to repent, heard the words of God, and today we also have his prophecies and books in the Bible.


#13

The devil takes perverted pleasure in causing Catholics to fall away from God. You must remain vigilant, lest he continue to gain a foothold. He's trying to get to you. To steal your soul.

Luckily we have this nifty little prayer that holds a lot of weight. :cool:

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.

Always remember that satan is nothing compared to God.


#14

You have become desenitized to sin. The world is now the only way for you to "see" life. Per 1ke post, you need to properly form your conscience, but you cannot do that alone, due to the degree that you recognize you are desenitized.

First, I would suggest you get a copy of the 10 commandments and review them at Lunch and Dinner with the goal, of truthfully answering to yourself, have I violated any of these.
Second, read in the CCC the explanation of each commandment. Do not rely upon your current understanding.
Third, go to www.thereasonforourhope.org and get Father Larry Richard's CD's on CONFRTONTING SIN and CONFESSION.
Fourth: Memorize the St. Michael the Archangle prayer, as created by Pope Leo XIII to combat satan, and say it whenever you feel that you are leaning toward sin the world as being an "ok thing".

I will pray that you have the strength to continue in your purusit of holiness. Just declaring your situation, demonstrates you still have sufficient grace to know right from wrong.


#15

You’ve received plenty of good and correct answers and advice to solving your dilema. I would like to add one more. A good confession, act of contrition, and reception of the Eucharist. This, to me, always pulls me though my doldrums. Also read the letters of St. Paul. They may help too. God Bless.

PAX DOMINI :signofcross:

Shalom Aleichem


closed #16

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