I struggle with the sin of lust, but I’m actively trying to control it and stop masturbating. Last night, after three weeks of purity (longest I’ve gone) I broke and gave in to masturbation. I was under the impression that you can receive the eucharist after sinning as long as you go to confession after mass. I wanted to go to confession before mass, but the preist only got there 5 mins ahead of time, and seemed busy prepping for mass, so I didn’t bother him for confession. Anyway, since I thought it’d be ok if I received as long as I intended to go after mass, I went ahead and received. Immediately I felt bad, as if I had done wrong even though I thought it was fine.
Anyway, I hopped on the Internet after mass and now I KNOW I did wrong. I feel dirty and horrible knowing that I offended God like that. I have to wait till next Sunday for confession since I’m in army training and not free to come and go. I feel really terrible.
It’s also hard to make it to confession, because there is no timed confession. You have to ask the preist before mass, and I don’t know if/when it’s appropriate since I don’t want to be a nuisance.