Receiving the Eucharist for a couple engaged with a child

This question is not a situation I am in and doesn’t pertain to me.

I am wondering about this moral issue though. It arose after one of my sisters gave advice to our youngest sister that a priest told her it’s okay for a non-married Catholic WITH a child to receive Holy Communion even though she is having premarital relations with the father. The priest stated as long as the INTENT to marry in the church was in her heart, premarital sex with the ONLY the fiance would be okay to receive the Eucharist( no promiscuous sex). My sister told me it was in scripture too. I asked her to show me and we haven’t yet got around to that.

Is this priest correct or wrong?

As you’ve related it here, it’s not correct.

If the couple had been unchaste in the past, then confessed and remained chaste, then there’s no issue child or not.

It’s not unheard of for people to misunderstand priestly advice, sometimes even wilfully. It may also be that he gave her specific advice about her situation, which she may or may not have understood and relayed correctly to you, or you may misinterpreted her as well.

It possible that the priest gave bad advice, too, but -a nd especially if he gave this advice in confession - you have no way of knowing.

Agree with everything here.

I would add that often the couple will say, “We confessed our sin, (and were forgiven) so…”

But what’s left out of this is the fact that the couple are continuing to engage in this sinful behavior (presumably).

It’s like a divorced and re-married couple. The Catholic may believe that since he/she confessed the divorce, and received forgiveness, that he is free to receive communion…he has just forgotten about the fact that he is still engaging in un-married sex.

I agree with this, too. It’s only okay to receive communion if the person confessed, received absolution, and has been living chastely since - no sex till marriage. A good intention can’t make an inherently evil act okay.

It’s “in scripture”?
That, I’d like to see.

Then again…I don’t think it’s in scripture that one cannot receive the eucharist when unmarried with a child and having sex with the father/your fiancé. That is, if she means biblical scripture.

But the pope’s post-synod document, to be released next Friday, is rumored to discuss and explore this topic, say various Catholic news sites.


Someone told someone who told you.

Don’t waste time countering what may or may not be an accurate rendition of what a priest said.

The advice from my priest … Unmarried couple with step children involved , was "I don’t recommend breaking up , as you have in a manner of speaking made vows to each other and there are children involved " Then went on to say … :If you can commit to living as brother and sister until you are married I can give you absolution and you can take communion … Its a stretch he admits but is acceptable

He did not say as long you you only have sex with each other it’s fine… He said you must commit to living as brother and sister

I was somewhat surprised by this , asked a second Priest and he as well confirmed yes you may receive …

Absolutely NOT. No priest can give one permission to receive Holy Communion when in the State of Mortal Sin!!! Not even the Pope can do that. Either she is making that up or the priest is totally off base and will have to answer for that. Every Catholic should know that we can NOT receive Holy Communion in the state of serious sin. If we don’t know that, then we don’t know much about our Catholic Faith and its time to learn!! Go to Catholic Answers and learn!! Get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. God Bless, Memaw

Either that was incorrect advice or the priest was misunderstood. But it was made very clear to me when my husband and I were going through the process of having our 12-year civil marriage convalidated, I could not receive Communion until I had gone to Confession and we had agreed to live in a “brother-sister” relationship until our Catholic wedding. We were in a solid relationship and definitely had intent, but we had to commit to not only abstaining, but living in separate rooms in order for me to be able to receive Communion again, and for my husband to be able to convert and receive it before our marriage was convalidated.

Yep as I said going through that now… Not that it’s not difficult what with temptations and all but actually is bringing a new level to our retaionship

That sounds right. Being pregnant (referring to the question in the OP) is not a sin. If the sin is absolved, and if they sin no more, they are worthy to receive Communion.

God bless you and your beloved.

I don’t see how this contradicts anything that I said. As 1ke said, this is a situation where someone told someone what someone else said. There’s a lot of room for confusion or omission of significant details.

I would think, that if an unmarried couple with children cohabits for the purpose of co-parenting, AND sincerely tries to live as “brother and sister”, AND falls to sexual sin, AND confesses this with sincere repentance…then, AFTER confession, such a couple could partake of the Eucharist.

That would make sense to me, it wouldn’t be a case of people who are unrepentant of sexual sin because they think “the priest said it was OK to have sex in our situation, even if we’re not married, so let’s go up to Communion”.

In your experience, are there many couples like this? Living together with a child who don’t engage in sexual relations?

This priest needs to go back to school. In fact, his advice is endangering souls. No, its not correct at all. The Church views any premarital sex as mortally sinful.

Not personally, but I have read stories of couples like AllieT who are civilly married and awaiting convalidation, and are NOT made to break up or live apart, just “live as brother and sister”. Seems that while the Church doesn’t accept actual fornication, but does find a “near occasion of sin” acceptable if there are children involved.

And this would, indeed, be an acceptable case for reception of the Eucharist.

However, I am very, very skeptical that most cases are like this.

And I think you should be, too.

I don’t make it my business to speculate about such things.

On the other hand, I rejoice when I hear of a couple with child or children or in other compelling circumstances who desire to live chastely prior to marriage.

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