Recently engaged and i need advice!


Hi everyone!
I recently became engaged me and my fiance are both cathloic and very much committed to our faith.We are both very much in love and at times have committed sin.I wanted to know that since we have both been exclusively with each other and are getting married will we still be viewed the same by god or will our marriage be of less value?
We regulalry go to church and pray every night, does this still make us good catholics?
And also i would like advice on how to get closer with my mother in law I love my fiances family and would love to be accepted by them as I have them but im finding that me being Croatian and him being Lebanese had made it difficult , is it wrong in the churches eyes for her to discriminate against me because of nationality eventhough Iam a catholic?
Can you please help?
Thankyou all and god bless!


Hi there Kara
first what do you mean that you both have committed sins? Do you mean serious, even mortal sins?If you have gone to the sacrament of confession, were sorry for your sins and resolved never to commit those sins again, you are forgiven.
You may have already gone to confession but as you know, you will get a lot of grace in that sacrament to help you in your relationship. You will always be loved by God, but we do not always love him. If you have sought forgiveness using the sacrament of confession then you have nothing to worry about.

You said something that makes me ask: are you two living together? This may be an occasion of sin and a cause for scandal. It is best, for you and your future husband to stop living together if this is the case.

Just praying and going to church doesn’t make people good catholics; when you pray and go to church for love of God and for the desire to do His will, that is what we are striving for as catholics. Keep God first always in your relationship.

Discrimination based on nationality is indeed wrong. Our faith shows us that we are all equally loved by God: woman or man, gentile or jew, servant or free. You are Croatian, he is Lebanese, so what? Only born in different places. Do you agree in important matters of your catholic faith? Does your fiance exhibit qualities of a good father? Are you two prepared for the sacrament of marriage? What about finances, will you two be able to provide for the children? These are some of the questions that your mother-in-law or anyone should be concerned about, not nationality.
If indeed you are called to marriage to your fiance then keep God first. Your mother-in-law, keep praying for her. And before you marry your fiance it may be wise to have a good conversation with the mother-in-law/family about your fears.


After becoming engaged, your first step should be to go see your priest and begin pre-marital preparation. This will help you sort through many of your questions and IMO the sooner you start pre-cana the better, some people actually find during the counseling that they have issues that will need to be resolved before marriage. Your post sounds a bit like there may be more to the story, or in the least that you should become more aware of the church’s teachings. God Bless


The question here on my mind is, how long have you been in a relationship before getting engaged ?

Because this drama should have been sorted before getting engaged.


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