Recently lost my brother


#1

hello everyone, sorry if this question does not belong here, my question is i recently lost my brother in a horrible car accident, i feel very angry and confused and frustrated with god, i feel like why couldn’t he have saved my brother who was only 11 years old what didn’t he do that he didn’t deserve to live, there’s people killing people doing harm to others, and my brother was chosen out of all of them. i am really trying hard not to lose my faith but it is really hard.


#2

Hi jesus2324,

I am very sorry for the loss of your brother, and am joining you in prayer.
Please accept my condolences.


#3

I am so sorry. There are no words for this tragic loss. I am really sorry. I pray for you and your entire family.


#4

First I am very sorry for your loss.

From personal experiance…falling into the why him and not the other guy is a dangerous trap. God values everyone, even the sinners.

At 11 your brother is with God. Its a tough lesson to swallow. Becuase he’s only 11 he’s very likely in Heaven and among the saints. It’s not a guarentee, but based on the average maturity level of an 11yo it’s quite possible. That would mean he is also a saint and you are free to talk with him like you would to St. Jude or even Mary.

That and remember that becuase he is in the Communion of saints when YOU recieve communion you are more deeply connected with him that you ever were when he was on this side of the veil.


#5

I am so sorry. I wish I could hug you.

When Christ won victory over death, God didn’t stop death from operating at all. Children still die, people of every age still die in accidents, people die trying to save others, people die from the carelessness and callousness of others, people die from diseases that they didn’t have to die from. It is still so hard. All we know is that God will have victory in the end. Death won’t have the last word.

Please try to find a person you can share this with in real time, a pastor or a family member. Share your grief with other people who knew your brother and loved him. Those are the ones to be with in grief. They need you, too.

God be with all of you, and may God give you comfort.


#6

I would encourage you to talk to your priest and let him help you.

God did not choose your brother or punish your brother. God allows the natural consequences of life, that includes accidents, diseases, crime, natural disasters. Those things are all the result of Original Sin entering the world.

The good news is that God is there for us always. He loves us and he can bring good out of any situation.

You are grieving. Please go talk to your priest.


#7

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how much you must be hurting right now.

My prayers are with you as you heal.


#8

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. I know that I would be very sad if any of my siblings passed away at such a young age as well. You'll have to trust that this isn't a punishment for anything, and God's plan is rarely (if ever) our plan. Be happy knowing that he is in a better place. When it gets really hard, think about him standing next to Jesus, smiling.

Peace.


#9

[quote="jesus2324, post:1, topic:244920"]
hello everyone, sorry if this question does not belong here, my question is i recently lost my brother in a horrible car accident, i feel very angry and confused and frustrated with god, i feel like why couldn't he have saved my brother who was only 11 years old what didn't he do that he didn't deserve to live, there's people killing people doing harm to others, and my brother was chosen out of all of them. i am really trying hard not to lose my faith but it is really hard.

[/quote]

I am so very sorry for your great loss. My prayers for you and your family. May God comfort you and give you the strength to carry on.

God did not choose for your brother to die. It was an accident and not that your brother did not deserve to live.
I hope this will be of some comfort to you. It has given me great comfort. When we lose the ones we love, we celebrate their lives and mourn our loss. They are in that so much better place Christ has promised us and we are sad because we miss them. Your brother is with God and will never know pain again. Go on and mourn his loss but hold on to the fact you will meet him again one day.


#10

I am terribly sorry for your loss.

But PLEASE, do not fall into the trap of 'Why my brother and not someone else'. It will make you bitter and trust me, I have seen people loose a love one and then go on for 30 years being miserable because 'It should have been someone who deserved it'. A good Catholic would NEVER wish the pain they can not tolerate onto someone else.

It is very natural to be angry. Please, find a positive outlet for your anger, through sports, writing in a diary or whatever works for you.

And I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but I will say it anyways. God uses trials to make us stronger. This is a test of your faith. God knows you just want to tell Him where to go right now. Ask Him to help you with that feeling. It is very hard to believe the One we are actually mad at is the One who can help us the most.

If you need time to rest, feel free to rest. But please, don't let this make you bitter

CM


#11

God created the world and the natural laws by which the world operates; He gave all humans free will. The use of that free will has included the ability to make cars that work in a certain way. Those cars are driven by people who have free will and use this free will to: drive too fast; make bad decisions on the roads; ignore traffic rules. This behaviour often results in accidents in many of which innocent people lose their lives.

24 years ago my sister was killed in a horrific car accident. It happens.

Please get counselling to help you deal with your fear, shock and grief. Talk to your priest. Talk to Mary - she knows all about experiencing the death of an innocent family member.


#12

thank you very much for taking the time to reply, i really appreciate it and means a lot to me, i will and need to go and speak to somebody about this, i dont want to end up bitter my whole life.


#13

I am happy you found us helpful.

And (since I am concerned for you), don't feel you have to trust the first person you talk to. Some councellors/priests are not that sympathetic. Take an easy getting to know them and DO NOT share with someone you are uncomfortable. If you must 'get it out', write it down and if you must ripped the paper up (to aleviate your fears someone may read it)

God be with you and I hope you find His peace


#14

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