First time poster but long term reader. Thank you to all who contribute!
I have recently returned to full communion into the church, and really pleased to say that my wife is looking to become baptised. She had some bad experiences with the church as a child, but she is really enjoying going to mass and feels much better.
We had a chat about confession and I mentioned that I went recently to ‘make things right’ in reconciliation. We had moved in together before marriage- I didn’t mention this as a sin particularly, but I had a confession in the priests house where I told my life as a story- I wanted him to see my journey coming back to God.
My wife took this to mean that I considered our life before somehow ‘wrong’ and that I was being hypocritical- living that life, knowing it was wrong. Moreover she felt hurt and said she felt like it would ‘look’ as though she had forced me into this living arrangement. I said this wasn’t true- It was my choice- and I was responsible for my actions. I also explained that the priest doesn’t judge- and that my actions were my own, anyway.
My view on everything is that God steered me around this path. I wasn’t well catachised, and I did fall away from the church. However I maintained that I would only be with one woman, and that is how it remained until marriage.
I had a real conversion event recently and a profound experience of God. I felt Him telling me to come back, and also to bring my wife. Certain events have happened which have led to all of this falling into place.
I have heard and read that God can bring us back in a way ‘around the houses’. I don’t feel I did ‘wrong’ before. Because my wife had to move for work when we were younger, I followed her to look after her. This wouldn’t have happened if I had been against living together and I’m not sure I could have been strong enough, anyway, to maintain a brother-sister relationship. I believe God knew this and allowed this, so that we could be together and in the position we are now- both of us coming to him in faith. Our life is much more stable than it was, and we are firmly putting down roots and building a future and this includes being completely open to children.
I’m not quite sure, though, how to explain this to my wife without her getting the wrong idea- that I was somehow ashamed of being with her or for my actions. I see it more that I am acknowledging there was an absence of God in my life, and the sacrament of reconciliation was my going through the door, back into the fullness of Christian life.