Reconcilliation with a priest half your age


After reading Weddell’s Forming Intentional Disciples I decided it was time for me to return to Confession. I have not been to confession in about 5 years!. I am hesitant to go to our parish priest as he is a new 30 year old priest and I am the volunteer DRE for our parish, (meaning that our relationship is different than being just a parishioner.)
Is it wrong for having these thoughts ? Should I go to another parish in the community for Reconcillation?



Often, it is recommended that people not confess to their superiors or employers, particularly when other options are easily available. If it’s possible, I’d consider finding a different priest for reconciliation – among other things, if you need to confess anything related to work, it would be better not to do it to your boss!


First off, I think it’s great that you’re going to celebrate such an awesome sacrament, but the age of a priest has nothing to do with his ability to absolve our sins.

Secondly I think it’s only natural to have these thoughts, but I would say also don’t let them keep you from confession! Do you have the option of keeping the confession anonymous behind a screen?

There is nothing wrong with going to another parish for confession, but if it’s a burden, being far away, and then you keep putting it off, that could be a problem. Satan has a sneaky way of convincing us that you shouldn’t go to confession for one reason or another.



Yes, if it is burdensome to find another parish, you should go to your own parish priest. But it didn’t sound as if that were the case. And it is very unlikely the screen would actually preserve anonymity in this case – I can’t imagine that my boss wouldn’t recognize my voice.


Well, most priests are half my age! Plus, a lot of the younger ones just out of seminary have taken to growing beards, which just seems a little silly to me, but that’s neither here nor there.

You can certainly go to any priest you wish for confession, whether your own parish or another. If you are well known and deal with the parish priest daily, it could be more comfortable for both of you to go to a different parish where you are not that well known.


This link might cheer you up. From the BBC.


why would age matter?Loretta5565


When you “shop” for a confessor for any reason associated to your humility, it’s probably not a good thing,

You should have confidence in the sacrament of holy orders, and the seal of confessional, and have the understanding that any priest administering sacraments is in persona Christi, and therefore you should be embracing Christ, not running from him!

Peace and blessings!


You may view the Sacrament as a barrier to your relationship. Rather, I see your concerns as a barrier to the Sacrament. How can Father help you if he does not know you? We all need regular confessors.

It is not the age. It is the authority of the office.

1 Timothy 4:12
Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.


Loretta5565 had no concern Re young priest .The priest is with Christ. Where does AGE MATTER and why should it . We are talking to Christ.


Seems to me it’s similar to choosing a doctor or an auto mechanic. Sometimes those of us who are a little more “advanced in age” but not necessarily “in wisdom and favor before God and man” :slight_smile: appreciate someone with a little more life experience, expecially when we might be looking for advice rather than just technical skill.

PS: yes, I have read all posts on other threads about whether or not it’s appropriate to seek counsel in the confessional but penitents seek it and confessors give it all the time so let’s not go there. And likewise obviously I realize than any priest with faculties can hear confessions and grant valid absolution.



Spiritual direction is quite another thing. As to the absolution of our sins, it is any Priest in a storm.


It should be noted that it is very unfair to the boss, not the employee. One can confess anything to a priest, and the confessional seal not only binds him against revealing your sins, but it also binds him against taking any actions outside the confessional due to your sin.
So for instance, a financial manager of a parish can confess embezzlement from the parish to the pastor, and the pastor cannot fire him. It puts the pastor in a very difficult situation.

I think it always best if key parish staff find a different confessor than their pastor. I certainly did when I was a financial manager. The above is an extreme example, there are many less extreme examples of workplace sins that need to be confessed.


Age? Makes no difference to me.

I do not feel comfortable confessing to my boss, but a good friend of mine confesses to hers. (yes, we both work in parishes! :p)

Go to whomever you are comfortable.


You can confess to whomever you wish. Because confession is not the Priest, but rather God through the priest. In his short time as a priest I’ll bet he has had more experience with sinners than you have.

I don’t know why age would matter.

Personally I would be more concerned that a DRE is having trouble grasping the sacrament and not frequenting it often. Perhaps you can use this experience as a learning tool about a sacrament you are teaching to others.

That being said, when I have worked at parishes, I have confessed to other priests outside of my parish. Heck sometimes I have even confessed about my boss!!!:eek:


I have worked in several parishes and I never go to confession to the pastor, my boss. It is funny because where I work now, the pastor used to be the pastor in my home parish and I did go to confession to him at that time. Now it just seems inappropriate. I have gone to confession with the other priests that I work with on occasion.

As far as going to confession to a very young priest, I too have some qualms about that personally. I think it would depend on what I was confessing. If it were the case that I hadn’t been to confession in 5 years I think I would probably go to another parish and choose a priest who has been at it for awhile unless someone recommended that the young priest was really good in confession. But then again confession is confession. I have had on a number of occasions gone to confession to an older priest who really upset me. If it ended up I didn’t like the priest I would just not go to him again.


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