Reflection on global village and overpopulation


#1

Well. We all know how the modern times are. There is no longer a mister director, everyone goes by name in work settings. In the TV a present will adress a major politician by name as well, too. Teachers even will be addressed by name by students. No honorifics, no forms… sometimes it looks like we’re all already introduced to each other, so we can talk like pals.

Well, can we really? A today’s situation: I walk out of the lift in a bit of a hurry. I see a storm of red locks and a grippingly pretty face to go with it and I just gaze stunned for a moment. I greet everyone there and before I say hello, she does, and that’s a hi, not a good evening. Do I know her from anywhere? Nope, not at all, neither does she know the people I do who are there. After a couple of seconds I’m out of the building anyway. I ask my friend some quarter afterwards, nope, she wasn’t with him, he doesn’t have a faint idea who it is.

Now obviously if it had been a less densely populated social situation, I certainly could have arranged for a nice little convenient accident to happen. No problem there. I’ve done such things already. But the way there are so many of us, with the illusion we’re all pals, it always looks like we’re going to meet again, which we aren’t. The assumption we’re pals precludes us from a real introduction. This applies to all kinds of situations: professional, educational, social, private perhaps, with all sorts of people, not just breathtaking ladies, hehe.

Anyway, a penny for your thoughts?


#2

I think we lost the meaning of growing up. Once I was in a supplier meeting (I was on the customer side) I referred to a guy as “Mr. X’ and he got all bent out of shape and said, 'Mr. X is my dad and he’s dead. I’m Sam.”

I thought it was a pretty rude thing to say to a customer who had not yet been formally introduced as the meeting was just beginning and we were handing around business cards.

There is no logic there. If I never become “Mr. X” then how could my dad have?

That’s one thing refreshing about hanging around my kids’ Catholic grade school. Adults are addressed formally by both kids and other adults. It’s not that I’m stuffy; I’m actually more comfortable that way than using familiar references.

Alan


#3

Oh, I’m interested to hear how you tie this into global village and overpopulation. I’ve thought about some very weighty issue tied to those themes.

Alan


#4

Welcome back!


#5

Yeah, your short diagnosis is correct. Looks like you’ve nailed it.

That’s one thing refreshing about hanging around my kids’ Catholic grade school. Adults are addressed formally by both kids and other adults. It’s not that I’m stuffy; I’m actually more comfortable that way than using familiar references.

Yup. There’s something offputting in the familiarised address. It doesn’t really even look familiar anymore, it’s just like no one deserves respect anymore. The more am I reinforced in this conclusion, the more rigid I become, myself. At this point I think I use Mr/Madam for anyone older than a toddler and I use professional titles.

One of the thoughts I’ve had in this matter is that it isn’t really bad that Mr Director is senior to Mr Specialist. But when John is senior to Mike it’s a bit bad. That’s because the job seniority is projecting on private life. In private life, the specialist doesn’t owe the director anything but perhaps some little more social respect, while with all the name calling (no pun), this changes. Wonder if it has anything to do with companies trying to sneak into the rest of the employees’ lives and dictate everything, not just what happens at work. Using names, integration camps, teamwork trainings, other kinds of training which basically teach you to think the way they want you to think. A Mike is easier to break than a Mr Michael Williams, after all.


#6

I think my above reflection on companies serves that question well.


#7

I have no idea what in the world you’re talking about.

If we don’t call each other by name, what would you have us use? Perhaps some attention to spelling, punctuation, diction would help in your post…it was a very confusing read…we’re not all too familiar to follow proper grammar.


#8

Erm. I may not be very humble, but I don’t make spelling mistakes, my grammar is errorproof and punctuation is by the book. If you believe otherwise, you’re going to need to show me. Actually, no one has made a single spelling mistake in this whole thread. I checked twice after reading your post.


#9

Oh no. We cant’ be haveing a whole thred without spellig errors.

Alan


#10

DIE!!!11oneoneonesix :smiley:


#11

Not only my thoughts, but my actions:

My children are REQUIRED to call adults by their proper name: i.e Mr. Mrs. Ms. Mz.

Unless the adults are SO close to us, blood-family or no, they end up with an “aunt” or “uncle” preceding their first name.

I cannot believe how uncomfortable this makes most people these days. “Oh no call me Linda.” No, she’s 8, she’ll treat you with respect. Get over it.

And you must be in Europe…“lifts” “ginger hair” etc.

You must know we run on a seperate ticket as far as social settings are indicated right? Right on down to etiquette being determined by social/economic/religious status. Although I can’t figure out which social/economic/religious status actually prefers the accepted etiquette – so I am left with “it’s all about the parents and the accepted level of RESPECT.”

But back to you. Next timeyou see a cutie-pie whom you want to get to know better, by all means: INTRODUCE YOURSELF! Ask if she likes over-priced coffee and go have an impromptu date and find out more about her. Don’t count on others. After-all my dear – chivalry is nearly dead. You can keep it alive by being a proper gentleman. You can also be a forward gentleman…who knows what he wants. PSSSST women find that very attractive, as long as you don’t start hanging out next to her bedroom window or calling her 50 times in a row! LOL

So keep an eye out for ginger hair in lifts…and do update us!


#12

What’s Mz.?

And you must be in Europe…“lifts” “ginger hair” etc.

Yup.

Right on down to etiquette being determined by social/economic/religious status. Although I can’t figure out which social/economic/religious status actually prefers the accepted etiquette – so I am left with “it’s all about the parents and the accepted level of RESPECT.”

The corporate world in which customs are dictated by international companies. I believe it started in America, the fashion of using first names rather than a proper Mr/Mrs. Between university students it isn’t that bad, although some people don’t buy into it, which creates awkward situations. By extension, it works for people up to their thirties, but I somehow don’t like it in business situations, especially if there’s a difference in rank.

But back to you. Next timeyou see a cutie-pie whom you want to get to know better, by all means: INTRODUCE YOURSELF! Ask if she likes over-priced coffee and go have an impromptu date and find out more about her.

But of course! I’ve done such things. In fact, I’ve even acquired phone numbers from girls on the bus or in the university corridor, hehe. But I do find the idea of stopping strangers to swap numbers somewhat crude. It was unthinkable as much as perhaps ten years ago. I used this situation as an example because of how the illusion of palship precludes us from real contact. :wink: It gives the impression as if the distance is no longer there, but it doesn’t actually remove it.

PSSSST women find that very attractive, as long as you don’t start hanging out next to her bedroom window or calling her 50 times in a row! LOL

Ha! I do have issues with the strange little thing you ladies call “space”, but I don’t call 50 times in a row… In fact, I don’t call a second time if I’m not called back, and I generally expect some reciprocation in keeping the conversation and the contact alive, depending on how things unfold. Courtesy is extremely important and I don’t accept the newly developed custom in which it only binds men. :wink:

So keep an eye out for ginger hair in lifts…and do update us!

Ha! I shall. Probably not the same one, but still. Situations like that happen often to me and they’re the most lavish source of reflection on how global village changes us… not the only one, but the most prominent of all for sure. Perhaps except those guys who approach you like they’re your pals and you’re lucky if they take their hands out of their pockets. I can’t cease wondering how people in business can possibly take such folks seriously. I have to combat the urge to bark at them until they spring to attention especially if they’re adolescents or very young adults.


#13

Well to me, it’s not just about respect, but honesty.


The whole american thing is that it’s “friendly”, but that’s blarney.


Because you know what? 90% of the time there is NO friendship level involved. I’m not the cashiers “friend”, I’m a business client. My dh is not a friend of his boss, he’s an employee. Nor is he a friend of his coworkers. Not that he is UNfriendly, but he works with a lot of women and has a thoery that they wouldn’t discuss things like their period to someone they call Mr. __ .


It’s just a lie to claim a relationship that doesn’t exist or worse it demeans the value of genuine relationships.


And yes, my dc always say “Ma’am” and “Sir”


#14

I think it’s a common misspelling of “Ms.”

In a formal letter, you write “Mrs.” to address a married woman and “Miss” to address an unmarried woman. If the martial status of the woman is unknown (normally the case in a business setting), you write “Ms.” (pronounced “miz”).

“Ms.” is rarely used in the oral form of the language, but it’s important when writing formal business letters.


#15

Thanks ack, yes Ms. is pronounced Miz and it used to refer to either widows or divorcees’ – or as you said a woman of unknown marital status. It was late when I posted, so please forgive me.


#16

Yup.


#17

Yes, I know all that. I used to teach English. I thought the Mz thing was something new, distinct from Ms, which is why I asked. :slight_smile: I’m pretty proficient with all manner of titles, including the old nobility ones. :slight_smile:


#18

Your English is pretty good, considering that Polish is your first language (is this correct?) Although Island Oak would probably disagree with me here. :wink:


#19

It doesn’t really matter which language was my first. I’m the head editor of a portal that hires Oxbridge students as junior editors and I’ve worked as a teacher for all sorts of people from kids to top management, so it’s no wonder my English doesn’t suck. You may need to take my word on the fact the grammar and syntax of my opening post is by the book (yes, I checked it a couple of times after Island Oak’s post), unless you ask a teacher, but spelling is something you can easily verify with an online spell-checker. If you do that, you’ll see what I’m talking about. Island Oak has more things to worry about in his or her own post than in mine.


#20

Just wanted to add an emphatic AMEN to that commen on 8 year olds. I’m from the south (southern USA as CA’s forums seem much more international than when I used to post here, not that it’s a bad thing) and in the south we’re pretty big on using proper names…well at least major segments of our culture.

In my CCD class when I have a student think they’ll just call me Stephen or Steve, I make it quickly apparent that isn’t going to fly.

The interesting conflict is my girlfriend’s parents, who are from up north. “Call me Pat, call my Patty.”…I find it a challenge, but honor their request.


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