I'm a newly-registered poster, hoping I can get some input from some of the knowledgeable folks out there.
My wife and I have been blessed with 4 gorgeous, wonderful, healthy kids. All but the second one were delivered via C-section. We were frightened by the risk of uterine rupture implied by my wife's OB (and also by another OB she heard on the radio), and so after our last child, we agreed to her getting a tubal ligation. There was genuine concern for her health and safety -- I saw the scar tissue on her uterus with my own eyes with each surgery. But I'd be lying if I were to say her health was the sole reason for the tubal. In the deeper recesses of our minds, we knew a tubal was the "easy" way to avoid the "worry" of another pregnancy.
And now 2 years later....It's eating me inside. It's affecting my wife, too. We were both ready to be done at four kids, but I'm quite certain being sterile is making her feel less of a woman. She still yearns to feel a baby inside her. As for the alleged benefit (ie. worry-free sex), well...I'm certain we've had more sex after the tubal than before, but it's sex that I appreciate less. It's certainly more empty and meaningless. I feel as if we have taken a sacramental marriage, joined by God, and reduced a significant component of it to the level of a high school prom night in the back seat of a car.
Don't get me wrong -- I know God wants us to enjoy sex with our spouses. But when that aspect of sex -- enjoying it -- is the only aspect of it, it's just....less.
As for fixing things...confession is obvious. My question is, is a reversal of the tubal a necessity? If we have to do it to be fully returned in God's grace, then we'll do it, but $7k is no trivial amount of money, there's no guarantee it'll work, and it carries all the risk any surgery carries.
I appreciate the forum's thoughts on this.