I’m going to turn 19 in December, which is the legal drinking age where I am. I think I have developed an alcohol-phobia being at university and seeing the bad effects of too much drinking, and wanting to be moral by following the law and not drinking for so many years. So, I’ve never had anything more than a teensy glass of wine with supper at home with my parents, and, of course, the Precious Blood at Mass.
I recently had a bit of a panic-attack involving my BF… He turned 19 at the end of August, and has now been having the odd drink out with his friends. He never has more than one drink, and usually has it when food is involved. He also hates beer. He goes for sweeter things like Coke and rum, and coolers. I trust him to be a very responsible drinker. Now, what caused me to get really frightened was this: he’s a fairly shy guy that loves to meet new people. (great combo, I know…) So he’s always trying to work on his people-skills, and has been progressing in the 2 years I’ve known him. He admitted to me last night that he felt that one drink helped him to be able to talk to someone. This was a single incident, I think… I freaked. I told him I didn’t want to speak to him if he had had something to drink that day, that I didn’t want to question whether it was the alcohol that made him say that, or really him. I told him I never, ever wanted to touch alcohol myself. That I didn’t want something that would alter my personality that fast in my body. And he’s a big man! I’m a small, skinny woman! He later clarified that it could have been the drink, or him just thinking it would help, and that he realized afterwards that he didn’t need a drink to do that, that he had the ability to talk to people on his own (which I could have told him…). I told him that, that I felt kind of cheated. Why couldn’t it have been me encouraging him to go talk to the other person?
I still feel very strongly about this… also, my family has a history of alcoholism, and I’m fairly certain that one of my close family members has been abusing it lately, though I think they’ve stopped, for now. I know there isn’t anything wrong with not ever drinking, and I also know the Church hasn’t condemed drinking, and Jesus even performed His first miracle by producing wine, but I just can’t see how anyone would want to put something that could alter their personality so fast in their bodies… I’m wondering how all you more experienced, Catholic adults deal with alcohol, how it affects you, and how you limit yourselves? It just frightens me so much, even though I know it’s not a sin to drink it. Also, I talk too much, and am trying to keep more of my life private, so I am very leery of consuming any substance that might make me talk more. x.x