Hello, I am wondering what relationship advice you guys might offer an early twenties college student who has been in a relationship for a year and a half. I’ll give you the basics: The first few months were amazing. It is a long-distance relationship, so we got to know each other really well without the physical distractions. Then we started arguing alot. Our arguments never last more than a few hours and I can only remember once going to bed without solving the issue. It seems like we argue all the time, about little things and big things too. I tend to be very dramatic, so especially when I am tired, things blow up quickly. I will tell my best friend and/or mom, and I always find myself excusing his behavior, excusing why he hurt my feelings, or excusing whatever it was that he said. Every once in a while one or the other will try to break up, but somehow (probably God’s graces???) we are given the patience and the love to talk the other person out of a breakup. Here’s the problem: I love him very much, but I’m getting tired of the fighting. I’m tired of excusing him to my family and friends, and I’m tired of the distance. I know if we break up, I will be broken for months, at least, and I know he will too (as well as both our families). I don’t know what to do anymore and the more I pray, it seems the longer we stay together, it just doesn’t make sense that I’ve become tired of it all. Please help me.
It appears the two of you are deeply incompatible as life partners. No harm, no foul. Move on and free both of yourselves to find a life partner they are compatible with.
Sometimes people get the notion that it is noble to suffer through a bad relationship and muscle on. While that may be true in marriage, during dating it is QUITE another matter.
The purpose of dating is to discern if a couple is marriage material. There is no requirement to hang in there when it becomes clear that things aren’t right.
You are young and free, don’t harness yourself to a lifetime of arguments and regrets.
You can love a person truly and deeply and realize they are not your life partner.
I love many of my friends, male and female but know we are never meant to be partners.
Don’t let romance or sexual attraction blind you. I also don’t believe there is only one person out there who we can love or be loved by. You are cutting yourself and him from the freedom to find a good match.
What the above poster said, but I will add, lose the drama. Drama is a sign of emotional immaturity. Emotional maturity is essential in all forms of relationships.