Hi, everyone, I’m just looking for thoughts, opinions, advice, or words of encouragement, because I feel like I’m turning to my family with all my insecurities and that they’re getting tired of it. Warning, this is going to sound like the crazy rant of a teenager looking for attention, but I’m kind of a late bloomer in the dating department, so here goes:
I started dating a woman a little over a month ago and she’s amazing to the point where I don’t feel worthy to be around her. She’s smart and funny and has all these interesting stories and she’s so confident and in touch with her emotions and opinions even though she claims to be shy, I don’t think she really knows what that word means, because she really isn’t. But I am none of those things, except I am shy. I don’t know how to share my emotions, thoughts, opinions, or experiences in a natural kind of way, call it social anxiety. Compared to her, I find my life to be boring, I have not accomplished anything worth while in the past few years, and I have nothing to contribute to the relationship, and that she’s going to find that out soon, and leave, and I can’t blame her.
We are both catholic, and she was attracted to the faith she thought she saw in me, and I thought that was something I’d be able to contribute to the relationship, but sometimes I feel like my faith is just a mask, and that the way some of my actions and thoughts come out, it shows I have not completely integrate my faith into my life. I want to change things about me, my social skills, I want to accomplish things, go places, experience things, but I feel like talk is cheap, and I can tell her my goals for the future, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to follow through with actions.
Okay, I just needed to get that out, and it’s not even everything I wanted to say, but I know that most relationships don’t work out, but she’s great and it will suck if my anxiety really makes me blow this, but I’m sure that moment is coming soon, and I constantly have ideas that I should end it first and it tears me apart.
If anyone has made it this far, congratulations! Please send help.