A while ago I interpreted an event in my life in a certain way, and am wondering if you think I was right or wrong, and what you would have thought if you were in my place.
Essentially I was engaged to a man, we made a very serious commitment to each other and it was certain that we would marry. We were of college age and were applying to colleges at the time. We both got accepted into colleges, he into an “ivy league” type of school that is private, expensive, and renowned for being good. I am a Canadian citizen and could not go to that school (no needs based aid to non-US residents, and I am not rich), but I got into one of the best colleges in Canada (some say it’s the best research university here, it has an engineering program that is 1st in Canada, and is by no means a bad school).
He had the option of going to school with me, and if he had applied he would very likely have been accepted and we could have spent college years together. But in part because of his parents’ desires and I think his own desires he chose to go to a school hundreds of miles away. I think his main reason was that the school he went to would allow him to get better jobs because it is a very well respected school in the US, and I think he perceived that he would get a better education there.
At the time I didn’t think that the education he would get there would be all that much different, and I also didn’t think that his ability to get a good job would be impaired by going to school with me. (And I still don’t think that; the top engineering program here seems to be more difficult and diverse than the one he is in. And there are opportunities for students in terms of being hired by companies or doing research.) But I didn’t want to be the person who put a rift between him and his parents, and who he later resented for making him go to an “inferior” school. At the same time I kept wishing that his priorities had been different, and felt very hurt by the choice he made. I thought that if it had been me, I would have made the opposite choice.
Right now I don’t know if my reaction was right or wrong. If you had been in my place, how would you have felt? What would you have done if you were in his place?