[quote="Betty09, post:1, topic:187973"]
I've been dating a man for about three years now, and he is wonderful. However, although his parents had him baptized he was not brought up as a Catholic and faith is not important to him.
This creates quite a divide between us, as I attend Mass every week and attended Catholic schools, as well as Catholic college. It is very important to me, and he knows and respects that, and has gone with me to church occasionally. He is willing to be married in the Catholic church and understands that I want children to be raised Catholic.
I love him very much and do want to marry him. In many ways, I consider him a better Catholic than I am- he is generous, loving, and selfless. He makes me a better person. But I worry about this issue in the future, especially while trying to raise children.
I am looking for insight from anyone, but particularly from people who are married to non-practicing Catholics. I am interested in hearing about challenges I might encounter, should I choose to marry this man. I'm very confused. I want to do what is right for myself, him and any future children.
He is not a better Catholic than you if he does not worship God so drop that notion to begin with.
As you say this creates a great divide between you, and that divide is not going to go away by the sounds of things, three years is a very long time, if it was going to get better it would have by now, how then do you expect to be able to fulfil the aim of marriage for the two of you to become one?
Do not mistake his willingness to go along with you on certain things as a positive thing either it is simply a sign of his complete indifference to the whole thing and his lack of firm convictions. It doesn't mean he respects it, it just means he likes you and doesn't care either way about religion.
I strongly advise you to rethink marrying this man.
Firstly you will be unequaly yoked.
For you marriage will be for life, you only get one chance to marry as a Catholic. He doesn't care about any of that if he wants out of the marriage in the future he will divorce you and get someone else, you on the other hand won't have that option.
Two, you are bound my the Churches teachings on sex, he doesn't care about any of that and so the temptation for you to rebel against the Churches teachings on things such as artificial birth control will be much stronger.
Three, just by doing nothing he will already be a bad influence on any children if you were to marry this man. You would have to deal with questions such as: "Why do I have to go to church and daddy doesn't?" on a constant basis. And the children will play the differences between the two of you to get their own way.
It has now been shown that children are for more likely to abandon religion if their fathers do not practice it. The reason been obvious, their father teaches them that religion does not really matter by simply not treating it with any importance.
Fourthly, been a Catholic is hard work, especially once you have kids you need the support of a Catholic spouse, he can't be that man for you.
You have left it far to late to ask these questions, the time to ask these questions was long before you allowed yourself to fall for this man. Your future happiness not to mention salvation and the salvation of your children may well depend on this decision, its not something to gamble on.
And telling him you can only marry him if he starts practising the faith won't work long term either in case you are thinking it will, it will last about as long as the honeymoon.