relationships with non-Catholics


#1

I’ve been dating the most wonderful guy for the past three years. We’ve recently started talking about marriage and I only have one nagging concern: he’s a Mormon and I have absolutely no intention of conversion. He’s very sincere in his beliefs and it seems unlikely that he will embrace the Church. I know such marriages happen, but are they really successful? I’m confident that we could work things ourselves, but what about children? And our families? His family seems to like me now, but I fear that can change.

Any advice or insight would be appreciated. Cheers!


#2

Hi,
Im a protestant and my husband is catholic. When we got married it didnt matter to either of us. Neither of us were true believers. Now, I am a true believer and my husband is not and doesnt care about his faith:( This is the only reason it is working for us.

If you are both devout in your faiths then once children come along Im not sure it will work well. This is something you will have to talk about with each other at length. Im sure you know Mormons believe very differently from catholics. IMHO raising kids with both religions would be way too confusing for children and put their salvation at risk.:frowning:

If you can agree to raise the children catholic then things may work out well. I know I just sided with the CC being protestant and all but Mormonism is false teaching. Im sorry if this sounds harsh, I just dont want you to get married and then down the road have serious problems.

God Speed
AFH


#3

Gotta agree with ALLFORHIM on this one. The Catholic Church very much discourages this type of union because She knows from experience that difficulties that it has caused and does cause in many marriages. This would be difficult enough, as AFH indicated between two Christians. Between a devout Catholic and a devout Mormon (who’s baptism is not even recognized by the Church) would probably lead to one or the other abandoning their faith, or the marriage failing. And you are right about families and eventual children: it is impossible to underestimate the problems that would arise just on those two factors.

Marriage is tough enough. Don’t make it harder.


#4

Do not become unevenly yoked.
There is good reason behind that command.


#5

They say that “opposites attract” but in marriage, the only thing that needs to be “opposite” is your sex, and in that case, “Vive la difference!!” as the Frenchman said.

Everything else should be as much the same as possible - culture, religion, housekeeping habits, holiday customs, attitude towards money, education, etc., should all be as much alike as any two people can be - there will always be enough differences to keep things interesting, but as someone above said, Marriage is tough enough. Don’t make it harder.


#6

Any interfaith relationship between christians and such groups is a bad idea. There may be some that can make it but many more with stories of disappointment, heartache, and misery. You might believe now that you guys could work things out but religious differences would plague you throughout a marriage. If you cannot see those differences now, they certainly would be magnified if a child is brought into the equation. Can you stomach the thought of having a future child going out into the world and evangelizing LDS beliefs that you do not agree with? The fact that you are now thinking about this by posting this message shows that you already see some warning signs.


#7

Wow! Spend a little time now and save yourself some future grief: find out what the Mormon beliefs are. . . for me, the archaelogical evidence re: North American conditions described in the Book of Mormon conclusively demonstrate Mormonism is a faked religion.


#8

Food for thought… I am a practicing Catholic and my wife is not. It has been VERY VERY hard on our marriage, It might sound very ignorant of me not to have considered this when dating my wife but love truly is blind.


#9

I gotta go with the others on this topic. Find someone who has your same set of beliefs, traditions, family values, attitudes, etc. It will make for a much happier marriage and family life in the end.


#10

I think my Catholic grandfather still regrets marrying my Baptist grandmother 60 yrs ago…:smiley: But I ended up Catholic anyway and am actively trying to convince my Sunday-school teaching mother…:wink:

Jokes aside, yes, if you are both devout, it can only lead to conflict…Mormanism isn’t Methodism…it’s a whole different ball of wax…


#11

How devout are you to your religion?
You say your boyfriend is very devout but didnt say about you.
Where will you get married as it wont be allowed in a Catholic Church?
Is he worth giving up the Sacrament of Marriage for?


#12

This is a very difficult one. Biblically, if you are a sincere follower of Jesus, you would be unequally yoked with a non-believer. Mormonism does not accept the Trinity, so I would not classify it as a Christian denomination.

I am an Evangelical and I married a Catholic. We have a lot in common, given our sincere faiths: the Bible, the creeds, the Trinity, “Mere Christianity” beliefs common to all Christians, and conservative Christian morality. But our differences do divide us, making it difficult for us both at times. God is working on us and we thank Him for his help.

Whereas Catholics and Protestants share perhaps 80% of their faith in common, Mormons and Catholics might share 20%.

But marriage is really hard and most in the US don’t work, as evidenced by the divorce rate. You will always have differences, but why make it more difficult on yourself. I would advise, both Biblically as well as practically, against.


#13

My advise, Corculum, is to be very careful. Mixed marriages are possible but difficulties will present themselves if not now then later. Some will be serious, some not. I speak from experience. I married a non-churchgoing Christian woman in a Christian denomination in 1983. We did not marry in the Catholic Church since she said that she would not agree to raising any children in the Catholic faith as is required of Catholic partners. I wasn’t a practicing Catholic at the time and married her anyway believing that love would prevail. 5 years later I experienced a re-conversion and desired intensely to baptize and raise our children as Catholics and to have our marriage “blessed” in the Catholic faith. She persistently refused. Our difficulties led to a bitter divorce 9-1/2 years later.

What I am saying is that religion affiliation will be a huge deal at some point in your future, particularly when children are involved. Though it is not necessary that the non-Catholic partner convert, a lack of religious unity in the family will become obvious in a variety of ways particularly in matters of worship and beliefs/doctrines/morality. Both Mormonism and Catholicism make some very firm demands. If you wish to marry someone who is not a Catholic and to have a marriage that is valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church, it must be done with the agreement that your children are to be raised in the Catholic faith and that your partner will not try to convert you away from your faith. If you as a Catholic marries without the Catholic Church’s approval, you must then abstain from receiving Christ in the Eucharist because your marriage will be null in the eyes of the Church and you will be in a moral state not unlike that of 2 persons living together without the benefit of a sacramental marriage. It is not my intention to disuade you, but rather to inform you. Hope this helps. :gopray:


#14

This statement is not true.

A Catholic can enter into a marriage with a non-Christian (Mormons are not Christians) by receiving a dispensation for “disparity of cult”… if the Bishop grants it (and many dispensations are routinely granted). Therefore, she could marry validly by following the preparation process outlined by the Catholic Church. The marriage would not be a Sacrament, a Sacrament can only take place between two baptized persons, but it would be valid.

HOWEVER…

To the OP-- mixed marriages are highly discouraged by the church for good reason, and I hope you will reconsider this very imprudent path. I am sorry you have invested 3 years with this person-- religion should be the FIRST thing you discuss and assess.

But, you have now come to realize that the future will be very difficult if you proceed to marry a Mormon. You have an obligation to you children to raise them Catholic. And, the purpose of mariage is to sanctify your spouse & children and pursue heaven together-- not a task easily accomplished by someone who does not share your beliefs. And, lastly, Mormonism is a false belief system that can negatively influence you and your future children.

If you move forward with a marriage to a non-Catholic, you will have a lifetime of heartache ahead of you. Don’t do it.


#15

I think that a marriage between a devout Catholic and a devout Protestant would pose many difficult challenges, let alone a marriage between a devout Catholic and a devout Mormon.


#16

Hi,
Im going to be brutally honest here.:o If and when my husband ever accepts Christ as his personal Savior and wants to go to a CC, it would be a huge rift in our marriage. If he did not allow me and the children to stay where we are, well I cant say what I might do . I would be devastated because I am a devout evangelical. Even though I have learned alot here, I would not be able to believe 100% in the CC. as many here have noted it is necessary to be behind the CC 100%. I dont believe in many doctrines/dogmas so I couldnt possibly join.
But I made my bed and now I have to lay in it:(

If at all possible dont be unequally yoked. I now know why God does noot want us to be unequally yoked. It creates problems.:frowning:


#17

Thankfully, I’m one of the success stories. I was Mormon when my husband and I married. He was, and is, a devout Catholic. I was a not-so-devout Mormon. We had two children together and I agreed to have them baptised Catholic.

In the back of my mind I always hoped that my husband would become Mormon, and that we could go through the temple together. That didn’t happen and I am forever grateful that it didn’t!!

I became a Christian about 6 years into our marriage and we attended both the Assembly of God and the Catholic church for a few years. Two years ago I finally came home to the CC and we are happier than I would have ever imagined.

in Christ
Steph


#18

The very essence of the Catholic Church is submission to the apostolic authority of the teaching magesterium. That doesn’t mean believe 100% blindly everything someone in a position of authority may tell you, but it does mean submission to the established doctrines and dogmas of the Church. Anything less is cafeteriaism.


#19

Along with all those above, I agree, find someone with whom you share faith - marriage is HARD (if it were easy, there would be no divorce) and there can be times when your faith will either be the lifeline holding you together or the last wedge driving you apart.

To never ever ever once be able to recieve Communion with your spouse, what a lonely idea…

Prayers you will find a good Catholic spouse!


#20

I have to agree with the other posters here… Faith is too important not to share with your spouse and if those faiths are conflicting, the marriage will be conflicted too. The only thing more difficult than a Mormon/Catholic marriage is a pagan/Catholic marriage, and that one didn’t work out so well for me.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.