Im not really sure where to begin but a male(lapsed catholic) relative (who i do love very much)has never been married but has had many long term relationships.Currently this relative is in a four year relationship & is abusive verbally & emotionally to the woman.It has become so bad that i avoid going to see them.The problem is this is not the first time.This has happened in every one of the past relationships also.In two cases physically abusive aswell.
In the past i had told the relative this is not right & spoke with my parents (devout catholics)about this.Unfortunately my parents were defensive & i was made to feel disloyal to the family even though one of the previous women was a very dear friend of mine and it ended in court!
My father passed away in 1996.
I had not been in contact with this relative for about 2 yrs until last year.I only met the partner in April,she is very nice.She has a couple of times said he is so moody and angry.I said she should not put up with this behaviour,she says she is too old to meet anyone else (she is 52) and woulld rather put up with it than no relationship.
My mother is very protective & defensive of the relative.If i say anything i am villified by her & treated poorly.Mother enables him & encourages him.He has sworn at her most profusely & in fact been very abusive indeed to her...but i dare not say anything.My husband has to walk away or mum would cause a family war.
I am always the ogre in the family! I guess i should just keep out of the way
I just am seeking advice