Recently, I’ve felt that I MAY have a calling as a sister. Not 100% sure (for reasons I will
explain), but when I fought against the possibility, I would only cause myself to suffer
emotionally. Now, I’m starting to accept that this may be what God desires…and what I desire. I gave up pushing away, swimming against the tide, and now my soul feels rested, more peaceful now. Despite this, however, there are still question I have inside. I can’t help but feel that, whenever I look at a picture of Jesus, I feel a little sad that I wont be able to love Him the same way I would a husband in marriage. Touch Him, embrace Him, kiss Him. Ok, I am able to touch Him, in the Eucharist, but you know what I’m getting at right?
It’s a strange conflict. On one end, I’m not sure if the idea of marrying a man in matrimony satisfies me or not, yet there’s still a longing for something very physical.
Which leads me to my question: Do you think that a person who is truly called to religious life would first accept the call to celibate life then religious life or do you think the latter can happen first?
I also don’t believe in pushing away the possibility of another vocation even if you feel strongly for one. I have a great aunt and uncle, one who was working to become a priest and one who was preparing to make final vows as a nun. Then, they found each other, fell in love, and got married! You never know right? Haha
thanks in advance