Religious Life or Religious Wife?


Hello fellow Catholics, Let’s get straight to the point. For a year I wanted to be a nun. That’s all I ever thought about. Now I want to be a wife but I feel a tug to be a Nun. I do not want to be a Nun anymore yet I know that’s if it was meant to be I’d eventually go. My mother wanted to be a nun for years, then she meet my father and had 3 kids, her mother wanted to be a nun for a while but she too got married and had 4 kids. Both stayed religious for a long time but my mother isn’t a practicing Catholic. Only a Catholic in name really. I swore to Jesus that if he’d let me be a Wife, I would let Him use me to bring forth Saints and that I’d raise them to be True Catholics and that Id stay religious and implement Convent life into my daily life. I am 15. I need to feel secure not afraid of this. Its like this, I want children and a husband, yet I want to give God my time and prayers all day forever. I know many saints are mothers and still had time for many things like adoration and etc but maybe I’m not meant to be a mother? I’m so sad over this.


You’re only 15. It’s normal to have some confusion over what you really want to do as an adult. It’s also normal to kind of follow the examples of your mother and grandmother.

Pray to God for spiritual direction and for help discerning whether to be a nun or a wife. Pray that if God wants you to be a wife, he’ll send you a good husband, and if He wants you to be a nun, then He will make the call very clear.

God bless


I thought a nun was a wife of sorts.


What is a nun, but a woman who has deepened her baptismal vows by following the Lord into an Institute of Perfection.

Your soul can and should belong to God, and that would lead to living a life where you have no problem denying yourself and giving the goods to your children; following chastity for your state-in-life by rejecting all others; and obedience to your husband for the greater glory of God. See all things as coming from the Lord, and you’ll have no problem handling it.

However, if you wish to see what’s out there – at least where the cloisters are concerned – click the first link under my signature. Look locally first. Speak with the diocesan vocations director. Retain a spiritual director. Assume vocation first, then discern out.

Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican


Been there and gone through all of that and what I quoted you saying “I wanted to be a nun” was EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT way back years ago. I WANT. I didn’t even give enough thought to what GOD WANTED OF ME. A Religious vocation for anyone male or female is a calling from God FIRST. He has to ask and we have to respond. Pray for HIS WILL to be done in your life. ASK HIM what His will for you is.


First, kudos on you for thinking deeply about your future.
Offer it up to God to arrange.
At this point, I would suggest learning what you can about the religious life and the married life.
Continue to grow as a person, polishing your social skills, learning how to behave in an appropriate manner with men and women (and children, too!). If you’re in the working world, this will give you a good opportunity to learn to relate to adults.

Please understand that you can’t raise saints for God. By that I mean, you should teach your children about Jesus and the Church, take them to church, etc, but you have no direct control over their final decision to be faithful to Him or not.
I don’t want this should scare ya. It’s your motivation to be the best version of yourself, and to surrender everything to Jesus.

Of course, your job right now is student. Be the best student you can be.

And don’t worry :slightly_smiling_face::rose:


I think for a 15 year old your amazing! You have a great head on your shoulders and you will make the right choice. Just keep asking Him and He will lead you!


I don’t think this comes down to an either/or situation. One can have a vibrant religious life and be a mother at the same time. In fact, I would argue that raising children is the first vocation that we were called to as mankind. I know that raising my children has only increased my relationship with Christ as I have been called to be intentional in how I raise my children in my faith. Ultimately, I am not trying to convince you to pursue either vocation. I am just trying to demonstrate that you can serve God just as well as a mother and wife, as you can as a nun.


At age 15, you’ll be changing your mind about many things.

When you’re old enough, finished school, you’ll have the option of looking into becoming a nun if you feel the call. There is a period of aspirancy and discernment before you begin your novitiate.

If God want’s you to be a wife and mother, that desire will be stronger than becoming a nun and when the right man comes into your life, you’ll know.

The key is prayer in all things, His will be done. Trust in God.



Oh my dear, your journey is so new. You have a lot more time to discern God’s call. You don’t have to decide yet. Don’t worry about what other members of your family have done. You should pray for God to show you what He wants for you. If you are called to be a wife (in the distant future), then be at peace. If you are called to be a nun, that will become clear in time. Pray and listen for God’s will. Be at peace.


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