would like to give a status update and say thank you to all who have given advice and your support.
Kelly, I was a seminarian at St Meinrad (for 1 year) so I know the Hill well. I would love for you to expand on your monastic experience there, or please pm me.
A number of you have mentioned to discuss with a spiritual director. I do not have one. As far as my parish pastor goes, he said he doesn’t have time to be my spiritual director. Amazingly, he was given the title “Mosignor” at some point in his ministry! I should hope not for telling his parishoners he doesn’t have time to be a spiritual director for them. I live in MS, there are not a lot of options here for spiritual directors as most Christians here are Protestant. I have given a great deal of Bible study with the Book of Proverbs for counsel and it has helped me tremendously, but I agree, it would be great to have a “coach” I could turn to.
I can tell you that I am “religious”. It is a central part of my life and I have grown thirstier for it as I get older, I find myself wanting more Jesus and less of the world I have known.Yes, I attend adoration weekly, two days per week where it is offered here.
I have studied over a monastery in Arkansas that may be a good fit for me. I feel good about them. I may see about going up there for a a few days this spring. Their cut-off on age is 50 with exceptions.
I am ok with the way things are going. I am grateful for the things I have in my life and enjoy, but it’s the “blade of lonliness” as I like to call it that is has been a scourge in my life. Even God said in the book of Genesis it’s not good for man to live alone.
I agree that I think the next thing I would have to do, and probably need to do at this point in my life is go make the visit and see how it feels.
Thanks all. Any other advice, ideas or suggestions are welcomed. Please remember me in your prayers.