Remarriage problems


#1

Hello, I am engaged to a divorced Episcopalian man who was previously married to a woman part Episcopalian and part Jewish. I am Catholic. The problem is my fiancee would never consent to getting his first marriage annulled because it would mean having to prove that there was something wrong with his first marriage from the very beginning. He says that the first 10 of the 13 years were wonderful years. But something went wrong - he tried in vain to save the marriage, but she left. He also would not want to convert. He has absolutely no problem with my practicing my faith. What can I do to remain in good standing with the Catholic Church?


#2

Marriage is a sacrament and is a permanent state until death. You cannot marry someone who is already married. It may be true that his first marriage was valid. In that case he is not free to marry.

In order to stay in good standing with the church you will need to wait until such time as he is willing to submit his marriage to the tribunal for examination. Then if his marriage is declared null you may proceed with plans for a wedding.

I don’t think a person can be part episcopalian. Either they were baptised or they weren’t . You’ll have to get that detail clarified before you go talk to your priest. You should go talk to your priest and see if your “fiance” is willing to go also . Your Priest can try to explain the reasons why marriage is permanent unless proven null.

Try this link it explains the permanence of marriage-

catholic.com/library/Permanence_of_Matrimony.asp
Pray , Pray , Pray.


#3

[quote=MarJo]What can I do to remain in good standing with the Catholic Church?
[/quote]

Break off the engagement. You’re “engaged” to another woman’s husband.

If he’s not willing to go through an anullment for you, then why would want to marry him anyway?

And even if he was willing, there’s no assurance that the findings will be what you want.


#4

[quote=MarJo] Hello, I am engaged to a divorced Episcopalian man who was previously married to a woman part Episcopalian and part Jewish. I am Catholic.
[/quote]

You are “engaged” to a man who is not free to marry. And, there’s no such thing as “part Episcopalian, part Jewish”. Jewish is an ethnicity, but Episcopalian is not. Either the person was baptized or they were not.

[quote=MarJo] The problem is my fiancee would never consent to getting his first marriage annulled because it would mean having to prove that there was something wrong with his first marriage from the very beginning. He says that the first 10 of the 13 years were wonderful years. But something went wrong - he tried in vain to save the marriage, but she left.
[/quote]

He does not understand what a decree of nullity is. It determines whether the marriage was Sacramental, not the “wrongness” of the marriage. I suggest the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster so that you both can understand what an annulment is and is not.

[quote=MarJo] He also would not want to convert. He has absolutely no problem with my practicing my faith. What can I do to remain in good standing with the Catholic Church?
[/quote]

You cannot marry invalidly and “practice your faith”. Marrying this man would be a mortal sin and you would not be able to receive the Sacraments. It is very serious.

Talk to a priest. If you want to marry this person, you must get the marriage situation resolved-- and you must also understand that the marriage could be examined and found valid and you would still not be able to marry him.

So, you are basically at the point of having to choose between what you want to do and what God requires-- you need to seriously consider the consequences of choosing this person over your faith.


#5

[quote=MarJo]The problem is my fiancee would never consent to getting his first marriage annulled…
[/quote]

Then a Catholic isn’t free to marry this person. A Catholic could only marry this person under some sort of quasi-marriage. To ‘marry’ this person is equivalent to shacking-up.

[quote=MarJo]He has absolutely no problem with my practicing my faith.
[/quote]

He has a major problem with your practicing your faith. If he didn’t, he would at least explore what’s involved in pursuing a declaration of nulity. I understand if you’re in love, it’s difficult to face reality, but the warning flags are FLYING.

[quote=MarJo]What can I do to remain in good standing with the Catholic Church?
[/quote]

Do not attempt to ‘marry’ this man. He is not free to marry. You wouldn’t really be married. Find a good Catholic boy, who is free to marry.


#6

[quote=MarJo]Hello, I am engaged to a divorced Episcopalian man who was previously married to a woman part Episcopalian and part Jewish. I am Catholic. The problem is my fiancee would never consent to getting his first marriage annulled because it would mean having to prove that there was something wrong with his first marriage from the very beginning. He says that the first 10 of the 13 years were wonderful years. But something went wrong - he tried in vain to save the marriage, but she left. He also would not want to convert. He has absolutely no problem with my practicing my faith. What can I do to remain in good standing with the Catholic Church?
[/quote]

I’m sorry you are struggling with this MarJo. :frowning: He sounds like a honorable man. He is being very honest and what a blessing to have someone like that in your life. His wife left him, so I would think there must have been problems from the start? My goodness it’s not the poors mans fault if she left. I would suggest making an appointment with a sympathtic Priest and have your husband come. If this love you both have for each other is strong enough it will get through this and the annulment will go through.

I hope things work out for you MarJo. :slight_smile:


#7

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