Removing Masturbation Addiction

Hello everyone. I am an 18-year-old in RCIA. I have an addiction to masturbation. Before I entered RCIA, I masturbated almost once a day for over four years. Since I got into RCIA, I have been trying to stop doing it. I will go about a week, sometimes two, and then masturbate. The pressure, physically and emotionally, just overcomes me and I give into it. When I begin feeling tempted strongly to do it, after a period of not doing it, thoughts come into my head like, You’ve already lusted so since you can’t go to Confession yet masturbating wouldn’t hurt anything, and similar thoughts. I then give in, do it, and feel horribly guilty afterwards. I do the rosary as a form of penance, focusing on my sin while doing the Sorrowful Mysteries, which my RCIA director said is a good form of penance while in RCIA. I then go without doing it for a week or so, then restart the cycle. I can’t seem to get through that peak of pressure after about a week. I just can’t resist it any more. What can I do? I pray, and try to focus on other things, but the thoughts come into my mind, and that combined with my physical desire to masturbate and my affection for the sin makes me masturbate. I don’t know what to do about it. Please, any help would be great.

First of all, you must read gospel John 8: 1-11. Then you will realize that all these are common for a human being. As St Paul says it is very diificult to control the desires of body.
Masturbation is a sin, but a young boy may not be able to control it. I was also like that. I prayed because I thought it is a gret sin. But I may advise you that you just enjoy your life. I think you need not control these practices. Just go on. Since you are 18, you must have a girl friend. Lead a good romantic life. Stay with her. Otherwise you will regret in the future. There is no need to think about God always. We are in this world. Just enjoy worldly pleasures. When you face a bitter event, then pray to God rigourously, also no others should see that you are praying to God. The things related with God will carried out by priests and bishops. As a young man, enjoy your youth.

WHAT?!?! :eek:

I’m not sure about that answer.

Anyways.

Continue seeking the Lord. Turn from sin. Resist the devil and he will flee. Spend some time at Eucharistic Adoration and tell the Lord your problems, he will help you.

God Bless.

First,I commend you for your courage.Its difficult to reach out for help reguarding personal sins.May I recommend some teaching from the Catechism:#2337 through2345.2346,2348,2350,2351,2352,2354,2355.If you would like you can get"free",a cd from the Mary Foundation , Healing and Holiness.Keep praying,read Holy Scripture,watch appropriate shows,flee from anything that tempts you.We are ALL called to be Saints.We all have our battles.The good news is WE WIN!I will keep you in prayer and please pray for me.Peace,Rocky.

WHAT?!?!?!:bigyikes::tsktsk:

I’m younger than you but I have the same problem exactly to what you said I go to confession make a week or two then do it again and until I get to confession again I get in a sort of benj (idk if that is spelled right) where for the whole week I can’t stop it is every night. Then I might miss church and that makes it worse. The way I see it is after confession and Holy Eucharist it is easy to resist sin for a while becaause you are filled with the spirit then it gets harder as you sin in other things. As you sin sin becomes easier to do.
I didn’t know if other people had this problem seeing as most if my friends don’t think masturbation is a sin and just don’t really care about things like that. They joke and call me the priest in the bunch because when they do care to wonder about religion they ask me.
But I’m getting off track hear the jest of it is that it is a sin and something thats needs to be stopped I have trouble too but I hope I can learn to resist my temptations.
One thing I notice is is that I am more likely to give in when I’m in emotional pain almost like I think it will resolve my problems mostly when I start to worry about realtionships and dating. It’s true what they say; the devil comes when you are at your weekest. I will keep watching this forum so you might hear more from me. Keep God in your heart and he will show you the way.

I have two things to pass along to you:

First, my advice: there is no “trick” or realization that is going to make things easier. There is nothing that anyone can say that will just “click” for you and make everything okay. Overcoming addictions require hard work, and much, much more for one of the most difficult addictions. You have to work at it; you have to persevere. This is a lesson that is learned with age, but you just have to suck it up. Fight through the pain and temptation and live your life like you know you should.

Second, I want to pass along this bit from St. Josemaria Escriva: (paraphrased) The last time you sinned–THAT was the last time. One of the reasons why we continue to sin is because the devil confuses us and teaches us to believe that it’s okay to sin just one more time. IGNORE HIM. He strikes when we are most vulnerable and takes away our ability to earnestly cry to God for help. Jesus is there with you; reach out to him.

Identify the triggers. Where do you do it, when do you do it, why do you do it? Then make deliberate commitments for those situations that bring you into the near occasion of sin – if they are avoidable, of course, avoid them! The shower was a trigger for me, at your age. It would help if I would pray there, or sing, or think about a book I was reading.

Remember: this isn’t about you. The purpose of these passions is marital lovemaking, and marital lovemaking is the gift of self. God wants you to feel this pleasure, but if you feel this pleasure in a distorted way (when it’s all about you), you will not be able to feel this pleasure in the proper way, when the time comes (when it’s all about her and God). Masturbation makes us hedonists.

Oh, and by the way, the idea that you “must” have a girlfriend? I would recommend against having a girlfriend at this point, unless you would seriously consider making her your wife. Otherwise, it’s just temptation, IMHO.

Regards,
Prodigal

Temptation of the flesh is like a drug addiction and once engaged in is always hard to overcome. But this will help:

  1. Avoid everything pornographic and that includes avoid speaking or listening to immoral things (why give satan a way in).
  2. Know that it is a selfish act totally void of love. It is only to satisfy your own desire and nothing else.
  3. Realise that the body CAN cleanse itself naturally (nocturnal emission). Similar to a women’s period. If you do nothing to encourage it, the desire will go away.
  4. Think about your future wife. Isn’t she worth waiting for?
  5. Study the bible and read your catechism. Have a read of the advice on pureloveclub.com
  6. Finally, take up something outdoors that will help focus your attention on God, like long walks or go for a jog etc. It will help clear your mind and focus on more than yourself.

God Bless.

We have to throw the penalty flag on that one!

There just isn’t a grain of salt large enough to take that one with. All young men fight their physical urges and I was no different. But to the extent that you do fight, you grow in character and the emotional strength that comes only from exerting some effort to control oneself. If we fall, He is there to forgive us. But we are required to make an effort.

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.” -Galatians 5:16

Once per day is hardy an addiction. If you are missing work or school, or are getting in trouble with the law because of it, then there is probably an addiction. You sound like a typical young man who is doing his best to follow Christ in this sex saturated world we live in.

You are not unusual. The truth is that nearly all men do this occasionally from the time they reach puberty until they reach old age. This includes married men although it’s a good bit easier for them. Too often this practice gets labeled as an addiction when it is nothing more than typical albeit sinful human (especially male) behavior. Young men are especially prone to engage in it due to the extremely high levels of testosterone present.

As Christians we are called to do our best to avoid it and the things that arouse our desire to do it. This is not easy. But there are things you can do to help. Avoiding pornography and immodest company and bad music like the plague is a good place to start. This is probably the single biggest all time struggle for Christian men. As I have said in other posts, if anyone can find a man who truly does not struggle with this at least on occasion, I’ll buy them a steak dinner!

The most important thing is to not feel like you are a failure or a bad person because you are not able to be perfect all of the time. But this does not mean that we should give up the fight. Do not shame yourself or allow anybody else to shame you about this…ever! Shame produces guilt, fear, sadness and stress which when combined becomes rocket fuel for the development of addiction. God knows your heart and loves you unconditionally.

Do your best my friend and share this message with other young men who may be struggling.

St. Paul knew what he was talking about. You make a good point there. Yes he should enjoy the pleasures of this world, as long as they aren’t sinful. We must be careful not to let the devil whisper in our ear. The OP (and the rest of us) most certainly does need to try to control this and any other sinful practice. I think I know what you are trying to tell this young man, but you should read my previous post. It sounds like you are struggling too.:cool:

For 4 months, go to Confession every week instead of waiting to masturbate before you go.

If you are confessing your venial sins weekly, rather than waiting until you’ve done the one thing you don’t want to do before confessing, I think you will find that your willpower will be stronger.

Also, look into getting a spiritual adviser. Yes, we are all called to be saints, but some crosses are harder to bear than others. With those crosses, it is best to make sure you have as much support as possible. With the support of a spiritual adviser and a weekly confessor, you can eventually over come this.

Think of it like this: You yourself called your problem an addiction. Well, with other addictions, the victims attend support groups, no? Get yourself a support group: Jesus, Mary, Michael the Archangel, Confessor, and Spirtual Advisor. I promise this will make it easier.

Also: if you find that you are tempted at night when going to bed, wrap a rosary around your hand when you go to sleep. This small gesture may make it easier to stay strong.

First of all, you must read gospel John 8: 1-11. Then you will realize that all these are common for a human being. As St Paul says it is very diificult to control the desires of body.
Masturbation is a sin, but a young boy may not be able to control it. I was also like that. I prayed because I thought it is a gret sin. But I may advise you that you just enjoy your life. I think you need not control these practices. Just go on. Since you are 18, you must have a girl friend. Lead a good romantic life. Stay with her. Otherwise you will regret in the future. There is no need to think about God always. We are in this world. Just enjoy worldly pleasures. When you face a bitter event, then pray to God rigourously, also no others should see that you are praying to God. The things related with God will carried out by priests and bishops. As a young man, enjoy your youth.

It goes without saying that this advice is totally contrary to the Christian life and to what Christ expects of each of us.

Scameter–

I strongly recommend fasting for as long as you’re trying to overcome this sin. In addition to the spiritual benefits of fasting, the amount of food you eat has a direct physiological effect on your libido.

God bless you for struggling!

Odd advice, I know. But I always find that sexual temptation gets the better of me when I haven’t listened to Christian music a lot and listen more to the ‘Top 40’. Sounds odd, but if I switch my car radio for a week off the Christian station I can feel the change almost immediately.

Maybe it’s something about subconscious messages…but start looking at what surrounds you. Make everything around you positive and it might help.

I know it’s hard but don’t give up!

God Bless.
AJ

This is great advice. If you feel you should go to confession just because you’ve masturbated again, you have the wrong mindset. Believe me, it feels great to be able to go to confession without confessing that same, persistent sin every time, and you’ll feel like you have more power over it.

If you can go a whole week without any sin of lust, then go to confession, it will really help. It sets a new standard for yourself.

The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to realize that you are powerless before the sinful addiction. Admit to Jesus that you cannot stop sinning without him, and pray every morning when you wake up, “Jesus, grant me chastity today. I can’t do it without you.”

I know it seems impossible right now. But for me, when I got past about 1 to 1-1/2 months, it got a LOT easier! But I still have to pray to Jesus every day to protect my chastity!

Pray often (rosaries are good), keep busy. Use the sacraments. And do not expect the temptation to go away (might even become worse for a while) - try to strengthen yourself spiritual so you can resist it with God’s help.

Excellent post. It’s all about where our consciousness is. I don’t mean to minimize this because sexual temptation kicked my butt often. But controlling our thought life and what comes through our senses makes all the difference.

You could try and look at this site: sa.org/

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexaholics_Anonymous

There is a good book pout there which might be of help also:

Fr. Meletios Webber “Steps of Transformation An Orthodox Priest Explores the Twelve Steps” written by the current Abbot of St. John the Wonderworker Monastery in California. Even though he is Orthodox the book is deliberately accessible to RC and Protestants as well.

They work on the same principles that AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) works on and it is (as the name says) anonymous, free, but of definite help in overcoming addictions. There are no addresses online, but there is a phone nr. you can call and find out where a meeting occurs in your area. If you are serious about overcoming this addiction this might be a way out for you. Perhaps you can bring it up with your priest/confessor for his opinion.

An addiction is an addiction and the success that AA has in combating addiction encourages me to advise people in your situation to seek assistance from twelve step programs.

  • Fr. Gregory

This is the best advice you have gotten thus far. You are not “addicted” to masturbation. You are acting like all (yes, I know, someone is going to say ‘not me’) guys, especially young guys. Guilt is also natural, but don’t let it overwhelm you. You’ll be fine. All of your feelings are natural.

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