Removing Video Game "Friends"


Is unfriending video game website “friends” who’s morals are corrupted a good or bad idea? Is it being uncharitable to “defriend” cyber “friends”?


You don’t have to stay friends with everyone. Not even in real life.

I prune my lists on social media rather frequently (though Facebook has an ignore feature and add-ons so for people I want to keep in touch with, but post political screeds or game scores or other annoying things, I can see what I want and not what I don’t.)

Truthfully, they’re not likely to notice if you do unfriend them. If they post content or behave in a way you don’t like, you’re not obligated to continue to associate with them.


If you feel equipped to check their bad behaviour - that is, to influence their behaviour (or their faith or lack thereof, or their reason) in a good way - perhaps not. But if you feel they have real potential to badly influence your behaviour, it’s a good idea.


No, it is not uncharitable. You have to protect yourself online first, so it totally acceptable to unfriend someone.

I tend to be cautious about interacting with people I have not met in real life. For me this has offended some people, because they thought I was upset about something which is not true.

I have been focused on trying to improve my credentials to attract a co-author for a project I am working on, and in the process neglected cool people on line.

For that, I am sorry. One or two seem to be miffed. Someone else seems to be miffed because I could not do something they wanted me to do, oh well.

I think single people in the same age group can more easily form friendships on line. For people who are married, or in different age groups, you can engage in some intellectual exchanges on line, but friendships are going to be tough unless it grows out of working together on something legitimate.

Good luck.


They wouldn’t be able to influence me. I am immune to peer pressure. I don’t know why, that’s just the way I am.

However, it’s not that they would influence me, it’s that I never ever talk to them, and that they seem to lack morals. Another factor to the unfriending is that some of their new usernames have swear words in it. :rolleyes:

I unfriended the “friends” who I no longer talk to, since I don’t really play video games for friends (you can run into some pretty crazy people in video games).


You should follow your intuition. If you are uncomfortable with someone, that is all the reason you need. There are books written about this sort of thing, and I am in the middle of one now, and will likely read another one in the future.

Aggressive behavior online is the number one reason I drift away from people. If someone is in “attack mode”, over something, I try to stay out of the person’s way. On the other hand, if you express an opinion on any issue online, you are going to offend someone. That goes with the territory.

The number two reason is I don’t really know what I am doing on the newer sites like YT, FB, and Twitter. So I limit my interaction on those sites.

Peer pressure can increase like a magnetic field. It goes up dramatically, the closer you are to the source of the pressure. Last summer, peer pressure, and interacting with an aggressive person, literally almost got me killed. Nevertheless, I have no ill will toward the person who created the situation who is otherwise a very cool person. However, I am not going to risk my life, and my family’s support, to interact with cool, aggressive people. So I left the entire sport.

It is interesting that you started this thread just before “Relationship Sunday”.

For me, if I am successful in working with a co-author who has more “online expertise”, then I do, then I will likely not even breath on the above sites unless the person says: “You can breathe now.”

Until then, outside of two forums specifically designed for debate, including CAF, my online presence remains cautious.


Only if you’re using it as a judgment call against them. I’m one of those loose moral gamers but I used to be the complete opposite. Believe me, you don’t have to share the same morals to be friends and neither should that difference cause you to put yourself on a pedestal above them.


One other problem with internet friendships, is flawed communication. In a debate forum like CAF, people can exchange ideas, but you cannot see facial expression or tone of voice.

Other media, including video, you can see the person, but there is little back and forth dialogue.

Missing information makes it difficult to know where you stand with a person.

Some people on line are particularly talented at building bridges and encouraging interaction.

Others, seem to be interacting on one day, and then issuing vague complaints against unknown people another day. If you don’t know the person, you may wonder if the person is complaining about you. If that is a possibility, most people will stop interacting until there is clarity.

One of the most current theories about the cause of interstate conflict is called “inside information, and a reason to conceal it”. I think the idea is that when one side has an agenda, that a state chooses to conceal, the other side may become apprehensive. In the interstate world, this can lead to conflict. In human relations, it just leads to separation.

So in a world where communication is lacking, relationships can suffer.

I have no idea of a solution, other than to learn from people / books that understand it better than I do.


It’s alright. They’re otherwise complete strangers.

When I play Call of Duty, I just mute everybody else. When the noise isn’t buzzing, it’s a potty-mouthed 13-year-old with a gamertag like “666commandoassassinxxx”.


What an interesting forum discussion! Although the answer to this persons question was answered very well, from many different view points… I noticed something here, as an MMO/RPG ‘gamer gal’ myself… I am quite knowledgeable of many of the most popular games, even play two of them, but the more I am learning here in CA as well as how incredibly sacred the Catholic faith has become to me!, with all of the above responses, is it even permissible for we to play the roles in these games?

And again, Thank you all for such great answers to the question above in which I didn’t realize I had too?..



You might want to start a thread of your own on that one. :o


When I play Call of Duty, I just mute everybody else. When the noise isn’t buzzing, it’s a potty-mouthed 13-year-old with a gamertag like “666commandoassassinxxx”.

Is Call of Duty moderated? I suppose the moderators should prevent things like camping if that’s taboo.

Well, I do not know about the culture of real time shooter games, but online communities such as Smogon (on Pokemon Showdown) and Dueling Network do not tolerate unbecoming or “salty” behavior. Although a moralistic Catholic may argue that using those sites, especially without owning the cards for DN, is a form of “stealing”.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit