Request advice, insight on 3 seemingly trivial morally troubling situations in my life


#1

Hello.

First, I’m worried about a family member who told me yesterday she was a fallen-away Catholic because she believed in abortion and contraception. When she told me she was a fallen-away Catholic I told her to “quit it” and I told her than abortion is an intrinsic evil, which caused her a moment’s pause. Also, I’m being urged to visit her and I don’t think that it’s a good idea to visit because we’ll probably just get into a big argument and because I don’t want to be exposed to her strange philosophies. Any thoughts on this?

Second, I have a neighbor, he’s about 8 years older than me, who wants me to take him to church with me. When I walk my dog he wants to come with me and has more than once invited himself into my husband’s & my condo. Another neighbor made a remark once about mistakenly thinking that this man was my husband. This same man wants me to bring him to church. I’m uncomfortable with this as my husband doesn’t go to church with me because he’s not Catholic and I don’t want to invite scandal by bringing this man with me to church. He has no form of transportation. I told this man that I’d find someone at church to take and bring him to church. This man is also not Catholic.

Third, the new neighbors below us are obviously unmarried - the woman told me he was her “friend” and they have 3 children, one about 6, one 10, one 3-4 years old. I don’t think the man is even listed on the lease of the apartment due to the way the woman was talking about things with me when she moved in. So I suspect that they’re living together out of wedlock as well as the woman misrepresenting who’s on the lease.

Am I just being too nosy and should I just mind my own business about these things and pray for them and do what I can to battle my own sins but for the grace of God, or are there some other choices that I could do?

I’m worried about the sin of omission here.

Thanks for listening and please pray for me.


#2

I would think it is a good idea, to find someone at your Church (maybe a couple or a man by himself) to drive him to church. I find it strange, why does someone who isn’t catholic, wants to go to a catholic church? Or is only the man who thinks you two are a couple not catholic… I would be careful if I were you. I know how it goes, when I walk with a female friend somewhere, everyone thinks she is my wife/girlfriend or whatever, because people ask about it


#3

With reference to the man who wants you to bring him into the church, given the circumstances, I suggest that you speak to your Parish Priest. On the one hand, this man’s soul may be at stake, but on the other hand, it sounds as if he is threatening your marriage and peace of mind (whether intentional or not). Maybe your Priest can come up with a solution that enables the man to convert, whilst protecting you. If he is genuine about converting to the faith, he will go ahead whether you are there or not. If not, he will come up with excuses, or even try to blame you. In case of the latter, ask the Priest what he suggested, so that If it turns out to be the latter, you can avoid being manipulated into unmerited guilt.

The fact that you have a car and he doesn’t, is not a reason to become an unpaid taxi driver, especially in these circumstances. I can’t drive and am grateful for a lift when offered, but otherwise, I get around under my own steam.

Other than the above, I suggest praying for all parties (and also asked God to help you check if you have any logs in your own eyes - I’m not saying you have - just my personal experience is that when I become overly concerned about issues, it detracts from my logs and I want to have a balanced perspective).

I hope this helps a little.

God Bless you.


#4

Who is urging you to visit her and why? If she is housebound, go visit her and if she brings the subject up and you think you can’t handle it, just tell her you are there for a nice visit and not to discuss things on which you disagree.

To be honest, I have one relative who gets under my skin when she brings up these types of topics (like saying, good, there’s new pope; maybe he’ll change those ridiculous rules! All I can do is walk out :frowning: ) Other relatives, however, are a lot more polite and respectful. If there is no particular reason for you to kindly visit her, just thank whoever is urging you for their concern.

Second, I have a neighbor, he’s about 8 years older than me, who wants me to take him to church with me. When I walk my dog he wants to come with me and has more than once invited himself into my husband’s & my condo. Another neighbor made a remark once about mistakenly thinking that this man was my husband. This same man wants me to bring him to church. I’m uncomfortable with this as my husband doesn’t go to church with me because he’s not Catholic and I don’t want to invite scandal by bringing this man with me to church. He has no form of transportation. I told this man that I’d find someone at church to take and bring him to church. This man is also not Catholic.

First, tell your hisband about this, not in an accusing sort of way, but in a way that makes it so your husband is aware of the situation, like “I ran into Mr X; he seems interested in Catholicism so I said I’d ask at the parish if someone can give him a ride to Mass.”

If your neighbor talks with you about something else, always try to bring up your husband, so if the neighbor asks if you noticed a new store, say, yes, and my husband is interested in it too.

Third, the new neighbors below us are obviously unmarried - the woman told me he was her “friend” and they have 3 children, one about 6, one 10, one 3-4 years old. I don’t think the man is even listed on the lease of the apartment due to the way the woman was talking about things with me when she moved in. So I suspect that they’re living together out of wedlock as well as the woman misrepresenting who’s on the lease.

Pray for them but other than that, don’t worry, don’t get involved.

hth


#5

With regard to your family member who has these terrible views, my advice is to pray diligently for her to come to her senses and back to the Church. When you do see her, be kind and generous to her. That is your duty. Put this in God’s hands, and let it go from your shoulders. He knows what must be done.

As far as the man who wants to go to church with you, I think that you should not get into the car alone with him to go anywhere. However, I would also want to give him the opportunity of salvation by going to church and learning and growing in Christ. It is my suggestion that maybe your husband could drive you both to and from church, so that no one would have any ideas about your intentions with this man, nor possibly put yourself in harms way. If your husband refuses, get someone else to take him, or even both of you, to and from church.

In the situation about your neighbors, all you can do is pray for their salvation. Show them kindness and generosity in all of your contact with them. Let them know you are a Christian, and offer to take the children to church with you. However, do not pry into their private lives. It is not your duty to do anything other than to try to talk to them about God, Christianity, and the love God has for them. Do not judge them. Prayer will be your mightiest means to heal them and bring them to Christ. Once they know the Truth, they will make the decision to follow Him and obey Him.

Bless you for your care and concern for those you love. Never give up because nothing is impossible with God.


#6

Thank you all so much for these VERY helpful replies. These forums are a treasure.

Praise God.


#7

Thank you. I not only have logs in the eye, but entire lumberyards… :shrug:


#8

Snap


closed #9

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.