Resentment towards my vocation


#1

Hi,

Not to mislead you, but what the title is trying to say is that there are people who may have resentment or doubts on my "calling".

I don't know how to say this, but my vocation journey has been very tough. After discerning my vocation (ie visiting a convent, intense visits to the Blessed Sacrament), I have chosen an apostolate that I want to serve as a religious sister - the Daughters of St Paul. Because I have experience in the media profession, and I am currently studying Communications. That is the congregation's apostolate mission - in the "service of the Gospel media and culture".

However, my parents were, at first, very sceptical. It seemed as though they did not really believe me when I said I wanted to enter the convent. I'm 26 years old this year. I am in the middle of applying to enter as an "outside postulant" due to my circumstances.

When I made the decision to enter, I was dating a guy who was very keen to marry me. He gave me a period of one month to "really think" about my vocation. So I did. In the one month, he gave his best in the relationship to make me change my mind about entering the convent. But my heart has been taken - to live the religious life for God. Marriage at this time is not on my mind. Don't get me wrong, I do care about him.

I'm afraid that I have turned him into an anti-Catholic and anti-nuns because of my decision. After the one-month period is over, I told him my decision to apply to enter the convent. He was devastated. He deleted me from his Facebook, and most of our mutual friends. He posted anti-Catholic/Christian videos on his page, including writing anti-Catholic sentiments.

Since he has a business near my office, he knows mots of my colleagues as they also frequent his shop. Just recently, one of my colleagues told me that when my ex saw him, he said things like "I hate Catholics!" He also paid a "surprise" visit to my cousin's office yesterday. My cousin said he looked very disturbed, as though he had "a lot of problems". I don't know if he's immature to handle this situation, or if I really deserve this. Nonetheless, I have only myself to blame when I know I should not have said "yes" to his courtship, because deep in my heart I have a desire to serve the church for a long, long time. I am only acting on this desire just recently, because the call is urgent.

Anyway, men suddenly appear in my life. I rejected them all. My sights are set on consecrating my life to God. I have turned two of them into God-haters. I feel that it's my fault now. And I am constantly praying for them, that they may be enlightened.

I also get the feeling that some people may doubt my "calling". When people doubt me, I get influenced by their thoughts too. However, I remember that it is for God that I live, not men. Only God knows what's in my heart.

This journey has, as my mum would say, peeled me in the process of purification, being reborn, transformed - it's a painful journey. Sometimes I feel like giving up. But the will to endure, thanks be to God, is much stronger.

Thank you for your time. God bless you.


#2

It sounds like you have a true calling. Stay with God, pray for your friend.

St. Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness & snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, & do thou, O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan & all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
:gopray:


#3

God Bless You. We need more women (and men) to take up religious life! The men who have become "God-Haters" in the wake of your vocation will come around again, God willing. Pray for them! (I'm sure you already do.)

I can only imagine the kind of courage it takes for you to do what you are doing. God be praised!

St. Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness & snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, & do thou, O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan & all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.


#4

Well there really isn’t much that one can say. Obviously the call is very strong and you must follow it. As to the ex boyfriend issue, about all you can really do is pray.

Perhaps others can offer more detailed advice.

Peace
James


#5

The way that your former boyfriend treated you was very childish and kind of reminds me of how Satan would act to you entering the convent. He doesn't like any priests or religious!
The best thing to do is not worry about other people's opinions. If we never followed our hearts, we would be devestated and unfulfilled. We would be trying to make other people happy, not ourselves.

God bless you for hearing the call!


#6

[quote="Sarahforgiven, post:2, topic:248872"]
It sounds like you have a true calling. Stay with God, pray for your friend.

St. Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness & snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, & do thou, O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan & all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
:gopray:

[/quote]

WOW. I have the prayer to St Michael the Archangel in my purse. I have the same prayer (with the icon of St Michael battling the devil) as my profile pic on my Facebook. My friend's name is also Michael.

Even you, after reading, saw the need to seek intercession from St Michael in my circumstances!

God bless you for your timely answer. I am very thankful.


#7

[quote="CatholicZ09, post:5, topic:248872"]
The way that your former boyfriend treated you was very childish and kind of reminds me of how Satan would act to you entering the convent. He doesn't like any priests or religious!
The best thing to do is not worry about other people's opinions. If we never followed our hearts, we would be devestated and unfulfilled. We would be trying to make other people happy, not ourselves.

God bless you for hearing the call!

[/quote]

I don't mean to "nit-pick" but - If I may offer in relation to making ourselves happy - It should not be our aim to make ourselves happy, but God. :thumbsup:
Only in this can we ultimately be happy.

Peace
James


#8

Honestly? All it would take is one instance within your marriage to that fellow and the same thing could have happened.

It's not your fault, none of this is your fault. Especially if you're following the Will of God.


#9

Not only that, the post right after mine had the same prayer! God is so cool:thumbsup:


#10

Better for you to obey God than men! Congratulations on sticking to your vocation, you will be an awesome nun. There is a St Paul Books and Media store in my area and I love it; we also have several of their amazing CD's. How fortunate you did not marry your boyfriend, to treat you in such disrespectful way shows what a poor choice he would be for a husband. Go for it and don't look back.


#11

[quote="JRKH, post:7, topic:248872"]
I don't mean to "nit-pick" but - If I may offer in relation to making ourselves happy - It should not be our aim to make ourselves happy, but God. :thumbsup:
Only in this can we ultimately be happy.

Peace
James

[/quote]

:D

Always one step better.


#12

i believe this is a temptaion to leave your vocations. You seem very sure you want to be a Religious Sister, dont give in, if i was you i would read Sister Faustina's diary. Very good book for a Religious Sister. It is not your fualt, you didnt treat them bad, you just held on to your vocation. You did you "job". Just have patience with them and pray for them, maybe even evangelize them through your actions or if you want to words. pray for them,and please pray for me.

Thank you so much, and God bless you.


#13

How proud your parents must or will be of you. God bless you.


#14

Thank you for answering the call.
Vocations is God's initiative, he knows well what is best for the person called.


#15

Wow, all I can think of is how, if you had discerned incorrectly, how this man would have behaved the first time that you and he disagreed as husband and wife! I never believed I was called to the religious life, but that sort of treatment your former boyfriend displayed when he didn't get what he wanted shows me that God does watch out for His own, if we listen carefully to Him.

Great call, soon-to-be Sister! And if for some reason the religious life turns out not to be your vocation, look at it this way: God still gave you a great mercy in preventing a marriage to a totally unsuitable and immature partner!


#16

I have learned the hard lesson of not living my life to "please others" but to Please God.
This you must do also. Not that you should not care for others, because we all should care for others, BUT what you do is between you and your call by God. What others do in response is between them and God. Trust God to bring a greater good in their lives and proceed in His direction for yourself. Guess who really doesn't want you to commit your life in this way...yep, the enemy of your soul, Satan. No doubt. Trust God and move forward. My prayers are with you.

mlz


#17

Please don't blame yourself for this.. it is not your fault. I think the guy should have been more understanding. Follow God first :) you didn't present the Catholic faith in any negative way, you were just trying to discern your vocation!

God bless


#18

[quote="Monica4316, post:17, topic:248872"]
Please don't blame yourself for this.. it is not your fault. I think the guy should have been more understanding. Follow God first :) you didn't present the Catholic faith in any negative way, you were just trying to discern your vocation!

God bless

[/quote]

That is so true, It is GOD'S will be done not his or yours, If God is calling you then I beg you answer it. How honored it would be to be personally called by God. wow. As far as your boyfriend. I emplathise how he feels and it is a heart breaker no doubt. Still God comes first and it is a cross for your boyfriend as it is for you. I hope you go for it and place your boyfriend in God's hands and let it be left at that. I understand his point I'd been "dumped" If I were "dumped" becasue my girlfriend wanted to be a Nun it would have been much easier to take than for another guy. In time he will move on and be ok it takes time to overcome dejection and dissappointment. That is how i feel.


#19

Wow. First of all, don't think it is your fault. Get that mindset out of your head.

Besides, would you even consider going back and marrying that guy now after he just shunned you and showed no compassion to your feelings and thoughts? You shouldn't, even if you didn't become a nun. He would probably do the same thing if you broke up with him for other reasons. Not a very good husband, if you ask me. In a marriage, if someone makes a decision the other disagrees with, they don't (shouldn't) act like a jerk to their spouse.

We all make decisions in our life that will anger others, whether intentionally or not. That doesn't make it your fault. Jesus upset a lot of people, but should he have felt bad about the path he took? Umm, no. Think of how many people Jesus turned away from the church. Probably a lot during his time. He obviously wanted them to know God, but he didn't feel guilty for doing what was right and praising God. And it wasn't that the people Jesus upset were evil or working for Satan, as some people made your boyfriend sound like he was evil. Maybe he is just having a hard time accepting the fact you two won't be together anymore, or he may never accept the light of God.

I have probably gone on long enough, but don't even entertain the thought that it was your fault that he is now anti-catholic (unless you intentionally did something you didn't mention). We all make our own decisions, and he made his. You cannot control the mind of another person.


#20

[quote="HerrZJA, post:3, topic:248872"]
God Bless You. We need more women (and men) to take up religious life! The men who have become "God-Haters" in the wake of your vocation will come around again, God willing. Pray for them! (I'm sure you already do.)

I can only imagine the kind of courage it takes for you to do what you are doing. God be praised!

St. Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness & snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, & do thou, O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan & all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.

[/quote]

Thank you. :)


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