I am finding it very hard to respect my husband, being that he's been unemployed now for 2 years and just living off the govt, and it's put our family in a huge financial bind. I feel much resentment about it. We have barely enough for minimal food and gas. I feel real anger towards him for it. (And if anyone has read my other threads, for his affair too).
He has not been job searching hardly at all, for 2 yrs now, as I guess he feels "why should I when I get this check weekly? And also he has no real profession which can make any more than unemployment offers. This really sucks too. I feel so let down, thaty after 22 years of marriage, my h still has no profession.
My issue is this is really affecting my love and respect for him. How do I handle this?
It has caused a rift before, when he was unemployed another time for 2 years too, when he lost his job and similarly did nothing, until his check expired, like a week before. We have been living on a shoe string with our family of 4, and my son even has had to buy groceries from time to time. I have not worked in several years, but have looked for work lately, and nothing yet. I have been severely depressed because of this, and then to top it off, my husband had an affair for the past 3 years, probably to boost his bad self-esteem from not working. It's an all around bad deal here, and I do not know how to handle it. I feel the husband should be the bread winner, and the mom the one with the kids. It is pretty succky lately.
I want to tell my husband I have lost respect for him not seeking work for 2 years, but don't know if I should. He knows my feelings about his affair, and we are back together from that, but this issue is not helping our marriage one bit. Basically, I feel he contributes nothing to the marriage and family, other than occasional housework. I also feel maybe I made a mistake by taking him back when he was unfaithful. And maybe God was showing me a way out from an infidel who also does not provide for his family. OUCH.