I am having problems with a friend who upsets me with her attitudes.
I am half black, but my friend’s racism is not really against black people. She would not have a relationship with/marry a black man (or a Jew), as her family would disapprove. She does not have a problem with their attitude.
She is Hungarian American and is racist toward Jews, gypsies, Slavs, and Romanians (she believes Romanians are gypsies). She says Romanians are sly, arrogant, and stupid, whereas Serbs are sly but clever. When I said that gypsies could enjoy improved circumstances similar to African Americans, she said this was impossible, as gypsies are racially inferior to Africans. She was furious when a gypsy represented Hungary at Eurovision, as she says that a gypsy cannot be Hungarian.
My friend says everything Hungarian is better than everything that is not Hungarian. She thinks the Hungarian territory lost in the Trianon treaty should be restored and cannot see that there are two sides to the argument. She won’t visit any country occupying what she considers to be Hungarian territory; she thinks these countries should be expelled from the EU and their citizens repatriated. When my boyfriend and I went to Prague, she said we shouldn’t go, there’s nothing worth seeing, and she wondered what sort of people would want to go there. She was furious when I described a fictional character as “a Hungarian refugee”, saying, “A Hungarian is never a refugee; that word means something different.” She thinks there is a conspiracy to portray Hungary badly.
My friend praises Hungary’s role in World War 2. She says Hungary was right to support Nazi Germany. She regards Miklós Horthy as a hero. She thinks Hungary’s role in the Holocaust was minimal and shouldn’t be talked about. She is hostile toward the British, especially Churchill, as she thinks Britain should have surrendered. She also condemns Eisenhower because he didn’t take NATO into a war against the Warsaw Pact in 1956.
My friend claims to be noble, even though titles of nobility are prohibited in the US and Hungary. She thinks that Hungarian nobles are racially pure Magyars. She says derogatory things about people who are “nouveau riche”. She is derogatory about Irish Americans, as they came to the US as laborers and now they are highly educated middle-class professionals. She scoffed when I mentioned SUNY and CUNY being good universities, even though my mom earned her PhD at CUNY Graduate Center.
My friend has distorted ideas about Catholicism. She does not practice the faith and seems to regard it as a kind of social accomplishment. Partly this is because she regards it as the faith of the nobility (Protestantism in Hungary was more of a middle-class religion). She once embarrassed a mutual friend who converted to Catholicism, saying she was less Catholic because she was a convert. Curiously, my friend seems to regard Catholicism and Christianity as separate religions.
Am I being unreasonable in finding my friend’s views objectionable? I feel that I ought to tell her that I think she is wrong. However, I think she is so sure in her beliefs that she would never change her mind and I would just lose a friend.