If your older ones are 11 and 10, or 11 and 9, they are likely getting the second taste of their pubertal hormones (boys get their first testosterone shot about age 4). Is the 11 year old a girl or a boy? Not that both genders aren’t very difficult at 11, but girls may be a little more moody and grumpy, boys a little more combative.
How are they broken up into their rooms? Are the older kids having to share their rooms with much younger siblings? As kids move into their teen years, they want more privacy and they lose patience with the little kids always wanting to be around them and handle/lose/break their stuff.
I have a program that can be used for kids, I am not all mushy when it comes to conflict, but this had some good techniques to help teach empathy. It’s not specifically Catholic.
But you and your wife need to work out some rules for your kids, some bottom lines, and set up consequences for breaking the rules. Such as “No screaming, no hitting, no insults. The penalty for each of those is losing X privilege for X days.” Don’t make it complicated but make it consistent, and then respond each and every time they break the rules. Not getting upset yourself, simply enacting the penalty. Another challenge to overcome - a test to see how you guys can work together for the betterment of your children. Chances are good you two weren’t working together and the kids may have gotten away with stuff they shouldn’t have, and now it’s noticeable to you. Or they may sense the change in atmosphere and be responding by acting out.
At any rate, you need to make a plan and respond. Also, if there’s been a lot of stress in your household, take the kids out for errands with you, one at a time, so you can have special time with each, to open the door of communication again. Please plan to have fun as a family as often as possible. Your kids love you both and need to know you love them too, even when they are obnoxious. I know that you do, or you wouldn’t care what they are doing.