Retrouvaille


#1

Please pray for my marriage. I ask in sorrow and in prayer that Jesus in His love and mercy, with the aid of His most Blessed Mother show my husband and me the path that leads us to Retrouvaille.

A divorce is already in process and I weep constantly for us and for our precious 3-year old daughter. My husband and I have wounded eachother and our extended families deeply with our struggles and yet I firmly believe God is calling me to find a way to forgive and keep my marriage committment.

I see the possibility that Retrouvaille could offer us and yet I fear that I would be the one to struggle most with being honest, and committing to trust and forgive.

In spite of my own fear and anxiety I am called to this as an answer. I have suggested it to my husband (who moved out in April) and he flat out refuses. He thinks it is some kind of miracle cure and won't even read about it to understand what it could do for him and his daughter.

I humbly ask in Jesus' name and in His Mother's for your prayers that my husband find it in his heart to consider Retrouvaille and to find a way to let me know. I cannot face another rejection from him.

I ask also for your prayers for my strength to pass through these sorrows and grow strong in the eternal love of God who, unlike my husband, will never abandon me.

Deeply grieved and deeply grateful for your prayers.


#2

Will be praying for you. Please think of your daughter and if you can humble yourself to ask again when the Holy Spirit guides you, I pray that you will find the courage to do so. Keep asking on behalf of your little girl.

I take it that your husband was not or is not open to counseling of some other kind?

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

:gopray2:


#3

I have suggested it to my husband (who moved out in April) and he flat out refuses. He thinks it is some kind of miracle cure and won't even read about it to understand what it could do for him and his daughter.


Dear CShone, Over the course of two years my husband flatout refused to go to Retrouvaille as well. Four times he said no and four times I agonized over how much more hell I could live with in our home...and prayed to God for the strength to persevere. And in GOD'S PERFECT TIME, my husband said yes -- that was in 1991. That was the first of many miracles that saw us through the tumaultuous days and months ahead. It's a long story, and one I'd be more than pleased to share with you, but for now just know that THERE IS HELP AND HOPE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE and God will bless you enough Amazing Grace to see you through this difficult time. Feel free to go to the web site and read testimonies and stories of how Retrouvaille has helped us and tens of thousands of couples around the world "rediscover" those endearing qualities that first brought the two of you together. And if your husband would ever want to actually talk with my husband, we can arrange that via private messages. Please know that the Retrouvaille program is NOT COUNSELING -- we are not counselors -- and no one is ever asked to share their own personal struggles with anyone else during the entire program. In fact attending couples do not even have to speak with anyone except their spouse during the entire program...GUARANTEED! But of course you will be expected to talk with each other in the privacy of your own room. That's what it's all about...open, honest and respectful communication between spouses. Check it out at www.helpourmarriage.com. After an 18+ year abusive marriage, we went to Retrouvaille in 1991 and have been active in the ministry ever since!! We share our story with many couples during those 20 years and continue to do so as long as God blesses us with farily good health and other resources. We will be praying for you!

[BIBLEDRB]Love is being patient and kind to each other....[/BIBLEDRB]


#4

Dear OP,

I am very sorry for all your pain and I hope God will bring you comfort. But...... I need to give honest love.

By the way you write your post, it appears you think Retrouvaille is the miracle cure. And it is not. There is another thread where a man says he just came back from Retrouvaille and his wife still wants to leave him. Just because it helped some people, it is NOT a 100% guarantee.

God wants your marriage to last. However, He also wants you to be happy and He will NOT override your husbands free will. Pray to God for guidance and strengh, and remain open to His will, not yours

CM


#5

[quote="Happy_Again, post:3, topic:245504"]


Feel free to go to the web site and read testimonies and stories of how Retrouvaille has helped us and tens of thousands of couples around the world "rediscover" those endearing qualities that first brought the two of you together. ....[/BIBLEDRB]

[/quote]

Hi Happy Again,

I am genuinly happy for you that God did heal your marriage. But please, be very careful before you send someone to read a tesimony about how retrouvaille works. There are no guarantees in life. And to someone who is in the depth of a painful situation, nothing could devestate them more than to follow a 'recommended guarantee' only for it to not turn out.

Case in point. When I first graduated in the recession of the 90s, I could NOT find work for the world of me. I was on welfare and becoming more depressed by the minute. So called 'well intentioned' people recommended resume workshops and other such things. I would d as others said and STILL not get a job. I felt betrayed. People told me about all the 'testimonies' and I felt like a weirdo because they did not help me. Or then people would accuse me of being defective when I followed their advice and still did not get a job.

The OP is in enough pain as it is. Please don't make a promise you can not guarantee

CM


#6

By the way you write your post, it appears you think Retrouvaille is the miracle cure. And it is not. There is another thread where a man says he just came back from Retrouvaille and his wife still wants to leave him. Just because it helped some people, it is NOT a 100% guarantee.

To all on this thread,

Please note that the couple mentioned in the comment above did NOT complete the entire Retrouvaille program. Therefore one cannot say without a doubt that the program just MIGHT have helped them save their marriage.

If you have an antibiotic prescribed by your doctor that just MIGHT eliminate your illness but only take the first dose, you are destined to NOT get well. Can you say that the medicine didn't help??


#7

I am grateful to all of you for your candor and prayers. I know I cannot ask that God change my husband's will. I can only ask in humble prayer that He show my husband the path toward keeping the committment that we both made - and that my husband act of his own will, to follow it.

I do not see Retrouvaille as any kind of sinecure, but rather a way to set peace in our hearts and perhaps a way for both of us to really ''see" eachother and our marriage as we haven't in 3 years.

Even if that means what we see is a mutual acceptance of divorce which has been communicated in peace and honesty instead of wrath and reaction. I would do retrouvaille on my own if I were permitted, if only to set my heart out to God in solitude and prayer over this achingly painful matter.

I ask for your prayers for relief from the deep sorrow I have. I ask for your prayers that we see the path and follow it and heal our wounds. I ask for your prayers for our beautiful daughter who deserves to have an intact family.

With gratitude, understanding, and humility.


#8

[quote="CShone, post:1, topic:245504"]
My husband and I have wounded eachother and our extended families deeply with our struggles and yet I firmly believe God is calling me to find a way to forgive and keep my marriage committment.

In spite of my own fear and anxiety I am called to this as an answer. I have suggested it to my husband (who moved out in April) and he flat out refuses.

[/quote]

I'm in the same place, but our child is unborn.

Saturday my husband was ready to go to Retrouvaille. He wrote the check, put it in an envelope.
Sunday he changed his mind and is angry and doesn't even want to try anymore.
He doesn't want to forgive.

I fill your pain and will pray for your family.


#9

When your entire marriage is on the line and both spouses have EVERYTHING to lose, and separation or divorce loom in front of you like the proverbial carrot on a string...wouldn't it make sense to at least give Retrouvaille a try?

Even if there is just one glimmer of hope left in either spouse, that's when God does His best work! It's that "little light of mine" that flicker of faith in God that can pierce the darkness of your lives and help you see more clearly and discern God's will for both of you.

When my husband and I went to Retrouvaille 20 years ago, I had the glimmer of hope while my husband was intent on proving to everyone that he did nothing wrong...that I was the problem all along. "If only she'd get her priorities straight...straighten up and fly right and do things MY way, then life would be perfect! I certainly didn't have a problem." -- this is a direct quote from my husband's sharing to couples when we present our talks to couples during the Retrouvaille program.

What is a 2-3 month commitment to attend the program compared to a lifetime of discontent, misery or even hate? With an 80% success rate, doesn't it make sense to go to the program and if your relationship doesn't change for the better you can then say that you at least tried everything possible to save the marriage?


#10

Please continue to pray for my husband, daughter, and myself. I continue to pray that God shows my husband the path to reconciling instead of divorce and that my husband has the courage to decide to follow it. I ache with sadness for us and our beautiful 3 year old daughter. I ache for each of our families who see us go through so much pain. And I ache for my husband that he is missing so much of his daughter's life. I know reconciling would involve courage and pain in the same way that divorce does, but I also know the rewards of that work would be so much greater than this. Please pray for my continued strength in my faith to know that God is always with us and to trust that.

In faith and gratitude.


#11

You are definitely in our prayers! We are hosting three visiting Retrouvaille couples...all presenting team members...this week. We will all be lifting you up in prayer. There will be many programs presented here in the states and around the world the next few months... some communities like to finish the 3-month-long program before Christmas. How wonderful it would be if you could attend a program soon so you could start the new year with a newly restored marriage relationship! We attended our original Weekend in September and although it was three years after I first asked my husband to go (he kept saying no), in the end we now believe it was in God's PERFECT time! Again, we are praying for you.


closed #12

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