ride to mass


From what I understand, we should not be shopping on Sundays (unless there is a good reason). Shopping just for fun, for instance, we should not do.

However, I get a ride to Sunday Mass from my parents, who are not Catholic. While I am at Mass, they go out shopping for fun, something which they would not necessarily do if they weren’t taking me to Mass. (They would often just stay at home otherwise on Sunday morning).

That being the case, is it wrong for me to ask for a ride to Mass from them, resulting in them shopping for fun on Sundays, even if I could get a ride some other way? Thanks.


My own OPINION is that, as adults, they are responsable for their own actions. They could just as easily drive home as go shopping. They could relax in a nearby park. They might go to some other church or event. Let them exercise their free will, while you go to mass.:frowning:

This OPINION has been neither endorsed nor opposed by my three cats:o


If you could get a ride some other way, and it wouldn’t be too difficult, then you could do that.

But, you never know, your parents might come along to mass one day.

Either way, its alright. If we base our actions on what everyone else will do, we will never be able to do anything.

I.e. should I go on the internet on a Sunday because some people have to run the servers.



Thank-you for your answers!


Athanasius, you need to quit asking this kind of question on the forum and ask your regular confessor. You have a problem and shopping for answers about what is sinful and what is not needs to be asked only of your priest until you have been able to conquer your scruplosity problem. Quit pouring gasoline on the fire!



Two questions and two points:

Would you be able to make it to Mass on Sunday if your parents didn’t give you the ride? Or, How difficult would it be for you to get to Mass if they didn’t give you the ride? Is there someone else who can conveniently give the ride?

The duty not to do Servile Work or to cause others to do that is one that falls upon Catholics, not upon non-Catholics. Your parents are non-Cathlics - They don’t have the same duty to avoid Servile Work and to keep others from doing it on their account that you do, and you have no way of knowing whether or not they would go shopping if they didn’t take you to Mass. At the same time, they are actually doing a real Work of Mercy by dropping you off at Mass and placing themselves in a situation where they could actually go inside the church with you. At some point, this might cause them to do just that, and that could very well be the first of a string of events which brings them to our Lord.

I believe you concerns in this case are unfounded.

Your Brother in Christ, Michael


Remember that your parents are on their own faith journey. Right now, they go to church every Sunday…they just don’t go inside. They drop you off and go shopping. Perhaps you could invite them every now and again to join you at mass and then all of you could go shopping together after mass. Don’t look at it as shopping, but rather a way to evangelize your folks. They might say no a hundred times to your offer before they finally say yes. Don’t nag. Just ask politely, (say, once a month,) and see what happens.



You started an identical thread–almost word for word–over a year ago.

You need to stop bringing these issues to the forum, since you have shared that you are struggling with scrupulosity.

Please submit to the authority of the priest you are seeing for help with this issue.

God bless.


Perhaps it would be helpful to re-read these wise words to you from another poster on another thread:

[quote=]There will always be ‘one last question’ if you don’t completely stop thinking about ALL of these sorts of things. Right now.

You are not responsible for anyone else’s wrong-doing - you have to lead a normal life and forget about all the questions you asked above - they are scrupulous.

Having questions is part of scrupulousity - ignore them, forget about them untill you can speak to your priest about it all. Any ‘one last question’ you may ever have does not need to be answered - like I said before, the answer is: forget about it, banish the thought, it is scrupulous.

You can and must ask your priest about all these things, do not keep anything from him - it is no good if a patient hides his wound from the doctor. Just tell him what you said here - that you think it might not be appropriate to talk about it - and he will let you know what it is appropriate to tell him.

Leave it all for when you talk with your priest. You need to get help ONLY from him (and God, in prayer) and not from us.

We are all happy to help you, but DO NOT POST ANY MORE QUESTIONS (and you will not need to post any more questions, if you stop thinking of questions in your mind.) - talk to your priest about it ALL. If you want to overcome scrupulousity, you cannot be taking advice from multiple people, this just worsens the situation.


I agree. I am good friends with someone who suffered from severe scrupulosity. Asking these sorts of questions will only make things worse for you. You need to find a good confessor and do whatever he says without fear that you may incur sin therefrom. That is the only antidote I have ever seen for this type of problem.


Alterum and Athanasius:

I must concur. While I don’t suffer from Scrupulosity, I can understand the pain and insecurity and the obsession that’s used to cover thm up.

All I can say is that the basis for scrupulosity is a lack of faith in God’s mercy and love and in his patience and ability to heal us and make us whole.

Athanasius, I think you should talk to your confessor about this & show him this thread and the previous ones on this subject and the other questions you’ve asked and the mess this obsession has made of your spiritual life and then ask for God’s healing and grace and for faith in His love and longsuffering.

You might even ask for the Sacrament of Healing because this Scrupulosity is a disease that has and will continue to cripple his spirituality and relationship to our Lord. If you don’t believe me, look at the life of Martin Luther and see what the effect of Scrupulosity was on him and on the Reformation.

Athanasius, if our Lord Jesus could forgive the murderous Robber who was next to Him on the cross, don’t you think you can trust Him to forgive you and to lead you into the Kingdom? If Jesus could forgive Peter who denial Him three times to a slave girl in less than 6 hours, don’t you think you can trust Him to forgive you and to find a purpose for your life? And, If Jesus could forgive the slave trader who ended up writing “Amazing Grace”, don’t you think you can trust Him to finish the work that He has started in you and to preserve you to the Day of Jesus Christ?

This isn’t Presumption - This is Hope and Faith in the Lord Jesus who is the author and Finisher of our Faith.

In The Wisdom of the Desert, by Thomas Merton one of the Desert Fathers said, “The Beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord and humilty with patience.”

Humility means that I try to see myself as God sees me, as a sinner who has been reborn as a son of God through the Sacrament of Baptism and by the redemptive work of Jesus Christ, and that I am being transformed by the Renewal of my mind by the Holy Spirit. Patience means that I understand that I will fall and get up, and will weep for my sins, and that God the Father continually forgives my sins because of the Sacrifice of Christ on the Christ.

Please try to remember this.

Your Brother in Christ, Michael


I don’t actually think that shopping on Sunday for fun is a sin. The concept of a “day of rest” does not mean to sit around all day, but to do something that you enjoy. If your parents enjoy shopping, then shopping on Sunday is not sinful. But keep asking them if they want to come to Mass! :slight_smile:


Think about it - by shopping on a Sunday your parents are enabling that shop to provide extra work and income for people who most likely need it :yup:

And I agree with the previous poster - whether or not you’ve asked the same question before, Athanasius, you MUST stop coming on here!


I agree with you.
Once a VD asked me “Which one is better, to stay at home and do nothing or go outside and do something (as long as it’s not sinful)?”

We can’t say that because it’s a day of rest, we have to sleep all day long. It’ll be sloth.


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