Rock. Bottom.

Part of the problem with having OCD is that you cannot adequately discern God. You are always thinking/feeling/fearing/doubting something and can’t calm down long enough to find God’s voice.

I have a loneliness that cannot be solved. I am poor and have no work, and even if I find work, it won’t be enough to take care of what I have to take care of. I’ve started praying a novena to Saint Cajetan, but I have no patience, and a small part of me wonders if this will end up like every other novena I’ve prayed.

I need money. I need a car. I need a career. I need to not feel lonely. I need to feel loved, wanted, special. I don’t want to be a failure anymore. I don’t want this I am tired of not getting the girl, tired of being overlooked and set aside. Tired of being unnoticed.

Why am I here? For what purpose? The only purpose I can see is to suffer. And I don’t want to suffer anymore.

Sub Tuum Praesidium Under Thy Patronage
We fly to your patronage, O Holy Mother of God: despise not our petitions in our necessities, but deliver us always from all dangers, O Glorious and Blessed Virgin.

Perhaps you might find additional information and support through contacting NAMI. Many of their volunteers share in your struggle and they serve as a resource clearinghouse.
I have a relative with OCD. I admire the strength of all who struggle with this challenge and pray for perseverance, healing, and that the world will respect and appreciate their gifts and struggles. May God bless you and keep you and may Our Lady keep you close in prayer.


We are all here for the same purpose. We share in the priestly office of Christ by our baptism. We become sacrifice with Him by taking up our crosses and following Him. We participate in His redemptive suffering.

Praying for your intentions Norm. Glad to see you back.

There is such despair in your post that my heart goes out to you. Please don’t give up! Please continue to pray. Ask god to show you the way you are to go and then put yourself in the way of those opportunities by visiting your local education and employment office (not sure what this would be called where you are) and ask for a job - any job! - and see about night training for a career. If you’re qualified already; seek intern positions or part-time work - anything to get your foot in the door!

God didn’t make you to suffer. He did make you to know Him, though and it seems as though you’ve walked your Calvary mile recently. If this has brought you closer to God, it wasn’t in vain. Put your trust in Him, pray for assistance and go out every day to put yourself in the way of that assistance. I will pray for a positive heart for you, and the first step on the path to your dream job.

Jenny x

Hi Norm,

I have recently been through some of the challenges you face.

I’m being careful in what I say here, as I don’t know the full extent of your problem.

My business recently collapsed, plunging me into debt with no job. It was at exactly this point that God came back into my life. As soon as I accepted that, even though I was suffering with constant nagging thoughts about job, money, etc; I turned from this, (to a sensible point) and came to God- received the sacraments, and immersed myself in Catholic discussion and media. While setting up a new business and selling things, I listed to Catholic radio- Catholic Answers live, etc, and occasionally you hear of someone in the same position, or worse.

I found I was able to ‘accept’ my situation. I have been always goal oriented- have to feel like I am working towards ‘something’ - a career. I haven’t felt that things have gone the way I expected at all! However I am blessed in other ways.

Do you have a family there to support you? Or friends you can call on? I had drifted away from family and as for friends- I moved away from them as I found them selfish. I am married but sometimes this can still make a person feel alone. Why? Because as a husband and a man, I have often tried to keep things ‘bottled up’ unfortunately. I am the one that has to have a plan!

In turning to God, he has blessed us through this time. I am confident that He does this for anyone who turns to him humbly and seeks His help. The problems I thought were absolutely massive are still huge to me- but to Him, they are small, and he shows me from this perspective.

Little by little things can be taken care of. I wrote letters to deal with my debts. It buys time, and it could be months before I need to act on certain things. Time for me to get things straight.

Can you negotiate in some of the issues causing you pressure? Tackle the highest pressure ones first?

If it’s money- write a budget and work out your shortfall. I know, I know…I didn’t feel like doing this either. I normally work off my head! But it really helps. I know now what I need to find each month. Then I create a plan to make ends meet. The remainder of the time I give to God. I come on here, I pray- most of all I listen to Catholic media while I work because you never know when you will find inspiration. Just find a playlist and hit play!

Have you considered an online business?

We are all called to know and love God. That is but one purpose. Just existing and knowing God meets this requirement. He loves you infinitely.

For discernment, please read this:

…it helps. Regardless of OCD, you’re not alone. We all go through this from time to time- so don’t feel you are alone and stuck with the problem. The more a problem exists, often the more there is available to help you in terms of resources people have created, with God’s inspiration in many cases.

Girls…don’t ‘chase girls’ so to speak! I had a hard time growing up, doing this, and ‘asking out’ girls which looking back I think- why did I do that? So embarrassing!

It was when I resigned myself to stop actively looking and just take a step back and live my life that a girl came along. I think it was in my being passive, not looking for being desperate, that I came across as more accessible and I was able to discern where the friendship was going. You need to be able to have a friendship with your future spouse, which gives it rock solid foundations.

Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiæ,
vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve.
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Hevæ,
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
in hac lacrimarum valle.
Eia, ergo, advocata nostra, illos tuos
misericordes oculos ad nos converte;
Et Jesum, benedictum fructum ventris tui,
nobis post hoc exsilium ostende.
O clemens, O pia, O dulcis Virgo Maria.

Ora pro nobis, sancta Dei Genitrix.
Ut digni efficiamur promissionibus Christi.

Omnipotens sempiterne Deus, qui gloriosæ Virginis Matris Mariæ corpus et animam, ut dignum Filii tui habitaculum effici mereretur, Spiritu Sancto cooperante præparasti: da, ut cuius commemoratione lætamur; eius pia intercessione, ab instantibus malis, et a morte perpetua liberemur. Per eundem Christum Dominum nostrum. Amen.

Praying for you not to feel lonely and to have the opportunity to find suitable work. While we might be strangers I do care and will keep your intentions in my prayers.


REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

Mary conceived without sin pray for all who have recourse to thee

I know of a person who got a job after praying to St.Cajetan.Don’t give up:)

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Glory to the Father, to the Son
And to the Holy Spirit;
As it was in the beginning, is now and will be forever.

“I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:12-13

Remember, Norm, it’s not you who will solve these problems. God will solve them for you or help you to accept them peacefully, whatever is His will. But He wants you to turn yourself over to Him completely and trust in Him like a little child trusts a loving father. If novenas aren’t helping, don’t lose heart. Say a simple prayer, in your own words, just asking Christ and the Blessed Virgin Mary to help you learn to trust them. Focus on the trust first and allow them space to work in your heart.

Go to confession, receive communion and believe that God will help you in His own way.

The most important thing you can do now is not give up hope. I have an adult son with severe autism and have been praying all my life for him to get better. I have not given up hope. He also has OCD. I have arranged my house so that nothing is ever moved. It drives him crazy when things are not where he thinks they should be. He has aggressive moods so I put him on medication which is helping. I will never stop praying to Mary and Jesus for help. I love my son and want to see him get better. I am confident they will answer my prayers when the time is right. Here is one of my favorite prayers.

O sacred heart of Jesus, I place my trust in thee,
Whatever may befall me, Lord, though dark the hour may be;
In all my woes, in all my joys, though nought but grief I see,
O sacred heart of Jesus, I place my trust in thee.

When those I loved have passed away, and I am sore distressed,
O sacred heart of Jesus, I fly to thee for rest.
In all my trials, great or small, my confidence shall be
Unshaken as I cry, dear Lord, I place my trust in thee.

This is my one sweet prayer, dear Lord, my faith, my trust, my love,
But most of all in that last hour, when death points up above,
O sweet savior, may thy face smile on my soul all free.
Oh may I cry with rapturous love, I’ve placed my trust in thee.

Don’t give up hope. I will pray for you.

Prayers for you Norm.

God has a plan for all of us, trust in his Divine Providence


  • Spend time in fron of the Blessed Sacrament
  • Never miss Holy Mass on Sundays, go more often if possible
  • Go to confession
  • Pray the Rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy
  • Do acts of charity (vistis the sick, lonely, poor or incarcerated)

3 Questions:

Why am I here?
Where am I going?
How do I get there?

My answers:

  • God created me to be free and to be happy
  • I am going to the Father’s haouse
  • Following his commandments, worshiping Him and His Son our Saviour and the Holy Spirit, and being his light to my brothers.

Praying for you.


Praying that the Lord may guide you and grant you strength for your trials. Also praying for your intentions.

O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!

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