Role in non-Catholic marriage


My daughter has changed religions and will, more than likely, get married in a non-denominational churh. Can I still participate in giiving away the bride if my faith is against marraige outside the Catholic Church? It’s hard because I love her so much.


I would participate in the wedding. She is still your daughter.
Have you talked to her about why she has converted? Has she been baptized into this denomination? What made her leave Catholicism? Is she open to conversation?


I believe that she left Catholicism because her boy-friend’s family belong’s to a non-denominational church. She met him when she was in her sophmore year of HS and really liked his parents. She is 20 today. We were strict with her and the boyfriends parents were very nice to her and included her in events in their life. So I feel she may have talked with them and is following their religion. Probably because we were strict she never opened up to us.
She said that she wants to explore other faith’s although when I ask her to look into her own first before she makes the decision to leave it is ignored.


I read some of your other posts. I see that they are 7th Day Adventists.
The main problem is going to be the Anti-Catholicism they are giving her. They is what is keeping her from exploring the faith.

I was various forms of Christian and then Pagan for a few years. I understand what she is going though. However, I ran away when the Anti-Catholicism started.

Now that I know the full story, I am not sure about the wedding. However, I was going to marry a man my parents hated and I wondered if they would come to my wedding. I remember thinking that I hoped they would, but I knew they wouldn’t because that would show support for a relationship they did not support. sigh It is a slippery slope.


If your daughter was baptized Catholic, she’s still obligated to observe the Catholic rite of marriage unless she gets a dispensation or formally defects from the Church. Otherwise, her marriage would be considered invalid. See this article for some good information.

Also, this post and this article talk about the subject in some detail.

I was in a similar situation a few months back, only in my case it was my (Protestant) father’s wedding. He was getting remarried to a lapsed Catholic (who’d been married twice previously). My husband and I made the difficult decision not to attend the wedding because we knew in our hearts that the marriage was invalid, and we felt we needed to put our beliefs in Christ ahead of keeping family peace. It was very hard, caused a lot of hard feelings from my father, and we’re still feeling the repercussions today. But we could not, in good conscience, create scandal by condoning sin.

It was really, really hard – but when I face Jesus some day, I didn’t want Him to have to ask my why I chose to keep the family peace as opposed to following His teachings. Nor did I want my daughter (when she’s old enough to understand) to think we were hypocrites by teaching her about the Catholic understanding of marriage but condoning marriages that were clearly invalid by Church teaching.


I would definitely attend the wedding. A similar situation happened to a friend of mine. Her father refused to attend her wedding to Seventh Day Adventist. She was very hurt by this and the family has since been torn apart. I think that it is important to support your children even when you disagree with their choices.


Thank you all! You are very helpful. From what I’ve read and thought about I believe that if I do attend and I provide the stipulation to my daughter that as a Catholic I do not condone it and she understands then I can attend. Maybe we can get an understanding that we agree to disagree yet the love is still there.

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