Roommate situation!

Is it wrong to live with the opposite sex even if they AREN’T your boyfriend or girlfriend? Like college roommates ect. Even if there is no sexual attraction to this person. They are more like a brother or sister to you and just a friend. Nothing will ever come from it. Is it still wrong?

Is there some reason one cannot room with a same sex person?

There are a couple things at play. 1) You want to avoid scandal.
2) You want to realize that many opposite sex relationships as “friends” often end up with more feelings than people realize.
3) What do you wish to tell you future children and spouse about how you tried to be Holy through you life?
4) If you really were a parent of someone, what would you think of the situation.

Chances are, you need to find another roommate.

Go to adoration, sit in front of Jesus and ask Him. “What is the Holy thing to do?”

I’d say the wrong part is the fact that you will be tempted in many ways.

I know of people that had friendships such as this, and in a couple of cases ended up married.

Things change.

It depends by what you mean by “room mate”. Will you be literally sharing the same bedroom? Or will you have separate rooms in the same house/apartment? Do you find this person attractive at all? I think these are all things to consider.

You know, I don’t say this proudly, but I sure slept with a lot of “friends” that I didn’t think that way about. College, drinking, stress, and heightened libido along with being at a time in life where you will be attempting to find a mate.

bad idea…

:smiley: Definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, living with someone is intimate in some form. Leave living with an opposite number until you get married and discover all the ‘joys’ then!

God bless.

I have to add another thing, what if you take someone in the house who temporary hasn’t got a place to stay? I am a man, but I know a woman who might be without a place to stay in the near future. I can’t let her sleep on the street, now can I. There is no family where she could stay, the family that might take her are too far away, which causes problems with school and job.

True, but this is a different set of circumstances. In this different scenario, in my opinion, while the woman is there, she should then be looking for somewhere else to live with immediate effect, and so should the person who has taken her in.

…and also, if this woman has not moved in yet, then you could try finding somewhere else for her to live and doing your best to find a place for her in the meantime so it doesn’t come down to her living in your house. Another option then, if no place has been found, is for her to temporarily stay at your place (Plan Z) while you stay at a parents or family member’s house. This way no scandal is caused, people know the situation, it is out in the open, and everyone understands why you are doing what you are doing, and she has a very temporary nest until having her own place. If people are aware of the situation then someone may say: Oh, I have a room! But her moving in to your place at all before marriage is a danger because you might naturally wish to visit more than necessary - this puts very unfair pressure on the woman and really not good at all. If you are really stuck between morals and faith you could always make an appointment to see a priest or a nun to discuss the issue.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit