I am not sure how to respond to this neighbor’ rudeness.
Every time I see him he acknowledges me by saying something in a derrogatory way about Catholics instead of just saying good morning or hello. It is also his tone which I find offensive. He does not say these things in a joking way.
It is every time and after several years of this I am finally tired of it. He is married to a friend and this is her third marriage. Unfortunately, I have noticed that since being married to him (3 yrs now) she also is making belittling statements to me because I am celibate and have been for a long time now.
I am just wondering how I should respond as ignoring their statements or just rying to have a conversation over their statements is not working.
Sorry you have this kind of annoyance. It would be interesting to get some examples of the comments you are getting, because that can reveal what some of their issues are about. If they are related to your choice of celebacy, then that’s what you should cut to. I think you should be convicting of their behavior while appealing to their faith to bring them to turning from it. Try not to find faults in their faith but find the truth in their faith which is genuine and leads to fellowship.
If you show them that you genuinely dont hold the past against them but desire for them to be more Christian in their behavior, they may just open their hearts
dronald: he is non-denom but I am not sure if they regularly attend church.
rcwitness: "If you show them that you genuinely don’t hold the past against them but desire for them to be more Christian in their behavior, they may just open their hearts.
Honestly, I don’t hold anything against them—well—until yesterday that is. I am just very tired of the rude remarks. You may be onto something in “desiring them to have a more Christian behavior.” I would never even think of walking up to someone and smearing their church or beliefs.
His remarks are, but not limited to: “So, have you become a Nun yet? Oh wait that would require you to have sex with the Priests.” I find this pretty rude and to even entertain the thought quite disgusting actually and a direct smear on our Sisters and Priests.
There is no aspect of Catholicism that is hands off to him. She follows suit and tries to laugh his comments off—I guess in an effort to keep the peace because I think she/they realize I am tired of it and I actually am getting a sick feeling in my stomach whenever I see them.
That’s extremely rude, they’re hardly what you would call ‘friends’ in any shape or form. This is the kind of sectarian abuse that was rampant in Northern Ireland years ago, and still is to an extent.
Have you ever said to their faces you find their constant anti-Catholic comments rude and offensive, or do you fear they will get worse? This is bullying to an extent. I’ve gone through it in NI with friends of friends badmouthing the Catholic religion in my presence and their horrible ‘funny haha’ quips, as above. However, I usually only see such people about once every 2 years for an evening.
What is the rest of your neighbourhood like, i.e. if you ignored them totally, after first giving them the chance to ‘stop’ their comments in your presence, would they be supportive?
In NI, years ago, if you lived in a predominantly protestant area you couldn’t do or say anything about any abuse you just had to grin and bear it. It was all part of the ‘culture’. :rolleyes:
I agree—that’s piggishly, boorishly rude. I would confront them, and if he doesn’t stop, I’d tell them I don’t consider it possible to have a friendship without mutual respect, so the ball is in their court as to whether they want to change or lose a friend.
I think sometimes as Christians we hesitate to tell people they’re stepping on our toes or walking all over us. Sometimes our politeness in return for rudeness convicts people of their own rudeness…but with real hogs, they don’t get it unless confronted with their rudeness and its consequences spelled out clearly.
get a court order that he can’t talk or be near you- what he is doing is harassment pure and simple. Turning the other cheek is one thing-being a door mat is another. Lord knows who else he does this you that you don’t know about? For people with mental problems this would be like torture.
But I don’t think that is the Christian thing to do. At least without certain attempts first. The Spirit of the Lord is humble AND bold.
Doesn’t Paul tell us to try to deal with our disputes within the Church and not in civil courts?
I know the problem is also because they are not within the same Church. That is the difficulty with division in the Church. But that’s why I say we should find the common faith which we do have and then appeal to that faith.
There is plenty of common faith in Scripture alone to rebuke this kind of “harassment”
I would cut them both off by ignoring them both. Ignore in a big way. She is no friend at all. If she were, she would correct him rather than laughing things off. He’s likely closed off completely from hearing the truth. Sometimes someone’s heart is so hardened that it’s fruitless to dialogue. Do pray for them. Prayer is the best answer as to an action that you can take.
I have noticed the same thing with people (not limited to, but…) that live out in rural areas.
Is that accurate? Sounds like a rather blue collar sense of humour to me from what you have described. I have had to deal with that type of person in various workplaces over the years, and since it is a man saying them to you…I’d try to laugh it off and offer to sell him an indulgence. Then maybe you both will laugh. This man can tell his comments bother you and, just like grade school, he is pushing your buttons to get a reaction. Off the cuff remarks and borderline offense is the ‘go-to’ communication some people use. Why? I don’t know exactly…
You could try a good laugh and say “Oh my goodness, where did you pick up such nonsense?” And then smile as you walk away.
Seriously, neither of these people is your friend. So you can certainly confront them without fear of losing a friendship. You could just flat-out tell them you would prefer no contact at all if they’re going to be so rude. And then turn around anytime you see them coming (because I doubt they’ll believe you at first).
I am not sure why there seems to be constant interaction with this guy. I probably would draw a line in the sand and the next time this bozo say the stupid things he say, I would say “hey listen, I am not sure where in the Bible it says to be rude to other people but I am tired of it, If you can’t stop the immature bathroom behavior, i really am not interested in interacting with you. Please stop harassing me, it doesn’t reflect positively on your religion” He might not think he is being rude but being funny and doesn’t realize that he isn’t so it continues. i would wager he is this way with others as well.
If he wasn’t a bigot I’d say that might work. whatthis person needs is a good kick in his spiritual pants by the Almighty
Apparently this has happened for awhile. My concern is that he harasses people.the trouble with harrassment is that it usually grows if you don’t do something about it. And most of the time he’ll be harassing someone else. Maybe the neighbor’s own wife. Maybe that 's why demeanor has changed.
If someone does not want to protect themselves, that is one thing but if he is an abusive person chances are he is doing it to someone else, than it becomes a duty to see that wrong is not allowed to spread.
It’s a horrible cross. But the Lord doesn’t give us crosses that we don’t have the potential to carry.
When it happens again, try not to plan it, and pray to Jesus and Mary for help when in that situation (an arrow prayer). You will find the words or the right thing to do.
This cross is also about you. Sometimes we get given things that we might pray to God even more and trust in Him so that afterwards we can overcome many obstacles. Try an arrow prayer - it is hard to have faith in this way but faith moves mountains.
DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.