Rude, Thoughtless People

My daughter is in her mid 30s and is suffering from a dibilitating for of arthritis that has caused her to start using a cane. It is obvious for everyone to see that the poor girl has extreme triuble getting around. Even with her disability she still wants to remain active and do for herself and that includes trips to the grocery store that wear her out on occasion.

Today…I couldn’t believe what she told me. She was going down an aisle and a woman in her 50s…athletic build and her husband were blocking the aisle while they talked about which ice cream bars to purchase. My daughter said “Excuse me” hoping they would move their cart so she could go around them. Instead of doing that the woman said “Oh, just a minute” and kept on her dialogue with her husband…leaving my daughter to stand there. When it was obvious they had no intention of being kind…seeing she was using a cane and had trouble walking…my daughter went down another aisle out of her way.

I have to wonder what makes people behave so badly…have so little compassion for a person with an obvious disability. I always have gone out of my way to make it easier for those who are having a hard time.

I am going to have to go to Confession because the thoughts I was harboring towards this woman and her husband are out of sight.:mad:

Sorry to go on and on…

:heart:Blyss

I think some people are just clueless. I have no trouble walking, but I’ve encountered the same thing in the supermarket and in business offices. There are the people who leave their carts blocking the middle of the supermarket aisle and are oblivious to the other shoppers trying to get by. If saying “excuse me” once or twice gets no results, I just move the cart myself (unless there is a purse or a child in it, in which case, I won’t touch it).

Even worse are people chattering away in the hallways in a business office. You can say “excuse me” five or six times, getting louder and louder each time, and they just don’t move. If they are not hearing-impaired, then I just have to assume they were raised by wolves.

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Those thoughtless people you describe seem extremely insensitive indeed. Definitely worse off than your daughter, whom I commend on her patience.

Please accept my prayers on behalf of your daughter, both for her healing and for people to treat her with more kindness.

The rude people in the supermarket you describe could sure use our prayers too, to open up their eyes and overcome their selfishness and lack of charity.

There was a time I wore a post-op shoe and it was obvious I was injured and unable to move around normally. Whenever I wore the shoe, people in the general public were understanding. They were far less understanding when the shoe came off but I was still far from healed … at that point people became very impatient to see someone as slow-moving as I was, without there being any other visible sign of disability. Definitely a learning experience to help me not judge someone’s weakness based on outward appearances.

Thanks for bringing this up so that people here at the forums can pray.

~~ the phoenix

Or try this one, an office politicker bringing their boss over to whisper and giggle right next to your desk, when you’re trying to proofread German and are not the most familiar with the language. I read and reread the sentences louder and louder just so I could hear myself think and do my job. Really, if people wanted privacy, they should go find a conference room. I guess I should take some satisfaction in the fact that these people trust that I will not further spread their gossip around the office since they feel so safe standing right next to me to engage in chit-chat which they apparently wish to hide from others.

~~ the phoenix

Thank you for your kind responses and for the prayers for my daughter.

When I attend Mass this evening I will say a prayer for the couple at the grocery store that thier hearts will be opened up to kindness towards others.

Thank you again…:slight_smile:

:heart:Blyss

I hope your daughter doesn’t encounter people like this too often. They are everywhere though – the ones who don’t hold open doors, who would run you down in a parking lot or cross walk – you know the ones. I do think praying for them is the best idea.

Hugs, Blyss!

This type of thing gets me all riled up too. I admit I sometimes make an *ss of myself…I’ll say “EXCUSE ME” several times, getting progressively louder. One time I told a guy I was sorry his momma didn’t teach him any manners. :blush:

Unfortunately, I know how your daughter feels. Recently I broke my leg very badly and I have been on crutches, wheel chairs and scooters in stores. I have had similar experiences with people not only standing in aisles but being rude too. The other day I was at Sam’s club. They have food samples all the time. These people literally refused to get out of my way when I was trying to pass and allow for others to get up to the sample cart. I politely said excuse me and got no response but a dirty look. So I waited a few minutes and said excuse me again. The woman looked at me and said, “We’re busy” Like I was such a major inconvenience! In the mean time nobody could get by… I was trapped… people behind me, this lady in front of me and dh is claustrophobic. I could see him struggling with it and yet these women wouldn’t move. I am not kidding it was a full 5 minutes like this (how long does it take to pick a loaf of bread anyway? It was just plain white bread!) and dh was losing it fast. Finally I inched forward until they had to move or every time they breathed they banged into me. Finally I said excuse me I really need to clear traffic and they looked at me and sighed like it was such an inconvenience and let me pass (barely). I grabbed dh and pushed him through with me so he could be free. We had to leave very shortly after that because dh was so freaked out. But of course not before some kids ran right into me because they were running in the aisles and not paying attention. They almost knocked me out of the wheelchair, I am not kidding! I looked over at their parents and they saw everything and didn’t say a word!!! I couldn’t resist muttering something about rude children and bad parenting as I passed on the way out of the store.

Dear BlestOne,

Unfortunately, and especially ever since Roe v. Wade, we live in a culture where human beings are not seen as infinitely valuable unique individuals created as children of God and destined to see Him in Heaven for all eternity.

People such as the ones you and BlyssfulDreamer speak of just go to show how very much conversion of hearts is needed.

With prayers for you, your dh, and the inconsiderate (to put it mildly) people at Sam’s Club,

~~ the phoenix

Thank you all…

I have decided after reading through your responses that I am going to make a habit of praying for those out there who have never learned what it means to be compassionate to your fellow man. I am also going to pray that I will remember to be compassionate to others…we never know what another person might be going through in their lives that we know nothing about.

While I was quite angry earlier…after reading what you folks had to say and praying at Mass…I am much calmer now and have a new outlook on people like the ones mentioned in this thraed.

God Bless you all…

:heart:Blyss

BlestOne…

My thoughts are with you and your dh…that must have been very trying…you are a very patient person…I could take a lesson on patience from you.:wink:

:heart:Blyss

I’m sorry for your daughter’s illness, also. …and for the rudeness she suffered from that couple in the store. I know that as a parent, we want to always protect our kids from all pains in life, and it’s understandable that you were thinking some ‘out of sight’ things. So was I when I read your thread.:mad:

But, thankfully, there are plenty of wonderful people in the world to offset those who just are not thinking of others around them. I agree with the poster, too, who said that some people are just clueless. There probably was not malicious intent on their part, but they were just off in their own world. I can get like that at times, too…:o I pray that I’m cognizant of others, and their needs…above my own, but we all falter.

I pray that those people were just having an off day, and don’t make a habit of being rude to others like that…but, good for you for looking to Christ to heal your anger. May God bless you and your family.

I think most people spend most of their time in their own little world with little attention to the needs of anyone else and your daughter may have to learn to bop a few people with that cane to get their attention. Seriously, I am even more worried about the devout churchgoers who hog the handicapped parking, refuse to hold doors for those in wheelchairs, letting the heavy door swing right back, insist on sitting in the areas reserved for the disabled and their caretakers, and especially EMHCs who have been instructed but “forget” to make sure they receive communion.

I do want to put in a good word for airport and airline personnel who have been exceptional helpful and kind when MIL or myself have traveled with cane or wheelchair, esp. Dallas airport, and Midway, Cleveland Hopkins, although Raleigh could use a little customer service education.

I am so sorry to hear about what your daughter is enduring physically as well.

When I broke my toe, it was so painful, and when I went to the minor emergency center to get it taken care of, they left me sitting there while they took others first. I know that it is because if they would have taken me in, even if I was in so much pain, others would have complained.

One of my college professors was telling about someone he knew that broke his arm - the bone was sticking out of it- and yet the local hospital refused to admit him because he didn’t have proof of insurance. He went to Sacred Heart, and they admitted him immediately and cared for him, without proof of insurance:thumbsup: Even though he wasn’t Catholic, you could tell he had a strong regard for our Faith now.

Sometimes it takes us being in pain to look out for the needs of others. Now, I let people cut in front of me while driving, in the store, etc. I just tell God that even if I’m in a hurry myself, I offer this up for their conversion. So, turn these situations into prayers for the conversion and softening of people’s hearts! I agree with the poster that said that Roe vs. Wade has really changed how people see others. All children were pretty much considered a gift from God, a blessing, now people are inconveniences, things are valued over people, etc. Tonight someone told us that he only had 3, compared to our 6, because he found out sooner what caused that:mad:

So sad. But, let us be the example to others. It is my hope that when I consider others over myself first in the stores, on the road, etc. that these people’s hearts will be touched and they will pass on the blessing to someone else.

God bless

Perhaps not all rude and thoughtless people are actually so. I had an encounter in the movie theater not so long ago where I became quite angry and so did the other person. No doubt we both thought the other to be rude. But perhaps it happened because of something neither could see about the other?

I was in a less mobile stage, so in order to be able to sit through a movie, I had to be seated so that my leg was propped just so. I had come 20 minutes early to be sure I got one of the few seats where this is possible. Well, moments before the start of the film, someone in a wheelchair and her husband came. I was partially blocking a regular seat that was next to a handicapped seat, and the husband tried to oust me. I suggested they use the other handicapped spots that were open, with regular seats next to them, but they wanted the one I was next to. I was afraid the husband would harm my leg, so I gave ground and left. They felt that I had no right to be there, of course, and I felt they could have used the other spots.

I wasn’t being rude. Perhaps they weren’t either (except that he raised his voice).

I agree with others who have suggested we consider what others might be dealing with that we cannot see. For instance, my father had a grade IV brain tumor for 1 1/2 years before he died (same as Jonette’s husband), and this made him very slow and “inattentive” for lack of a better word. I always try to imagine the worst case scenario to explain certain behaviors in people now, because I would not want others angry/complaining at my dear father.
In fact, my sister brought dad and one of her young children to the video store one day. She had a bit of a catastrophe dropping movies and such because Dad needed assistance, and her daughter was just crawling at the time. Finally she brought Dad outside (after he picked his movie) to wait on a bench while she went to pay. The checker told her that perhaps next time she came in she shouldn’t have her hands so full. I was infuriated when I heard that, and so happy that Dad had not heard it. Anyway, I marched right up to that store and identified myself as the sister of the “troublesome” customers and ,with an attitude I’ve never been able to muster before, told her that she should never open her mouth with such comments as she has no idea what any family or individual is going through in their lives. Needless to say she was flustered beyond belief and tried to fumble some reply which did not wait around to listen for, but I just firmly and indignantly walked out.
We most certainly can try to “admonish” the sinners, but we should have an attitude of caring, too.
Another example, when I was newly married I was bellyaching to a childhood friend (a man) who I adored (I had actually hoped to marry him one day) about my mother-in-law. Y’know how sometimes you think you’re garnering sympathies for your hardships when you complain about others? Well anyway, I’m yakking away thinking that he must think I’m such a saint for being able to deal with this woman, and lo and behold he says. “Geez, I hope my wife doesn’t talk about my mother like that.” (he wasn’t married at the time) Let me tell you, that was some kind of lesson, and he didn’t even have to tell me what a witch I was being! I’ve kept those words in my back pocket ever since, and have used it when someone is complaining to me about another.
It’s amazing what truth in love can accomplish.

Very wise words. I try to remember that when I get annoyed by seemingly ‘rude’ drivers. You don’t know what bad news or personal stress they are under. I remember when I was going through a stressful time, one of my brothers was on life support after being hit by a drunk driver, and I was very distraught, and not the most courteous driver myself. So I try to remember that before passing judgement on others.

I guess I shouldn’t let anything surprise me anymore.:eek:
Bless you and your family…those precious children are indeed a gift from God…

:heart:Blyss

“Just a minute,” when someone’s asking them to move a blocking cart? What the…? Those people are impaired and I doubt it’s only cultural. It looks like a mental dysfunction. Some people just seem to be such thoughtless airheads. At any rate, that’s unacceptable even without disabled people in the whole scene.

What idiots. Really. To think someone would wait until they finished their conversation. Just like that. Eeek.

One more thing so difficult to take in the modern world along with its inhabitants.

Anyway, I guess I should stop writing because I’m apparently resorting to name-calling. Pray for those folks, as should I.

A parade of three police cars was blocking us in our own driveway the other day, and we got the same response. “We’ll be done in a minute.”

As if not one of those officers (only one of whom was actually taking a report of whatever happened) could move just ONE of the cars so we could maneuver and get out. I was ready to call the station and let them know how inconsiderate their officers were.

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