Here is some background to help aid in answering my question. 5 years ago I met my now husband. 4 years ago, he was honorably discharged from the Army after he received full domicile custody of his two children from his first marriage and refused to give guardianship to an on post family so he could be a “good soldier”. He found a job and moved to the town, in the Bible belt, that we are currently in. I moved along because his kids wanted me close by and we had begun to discuss getting married. We were shortly thereafter engaged.
We made an appointment with the priest at our new parish to begin premarital counseling/preparation classes for Holy Matrimony. He said, though, that the Parish was not his and the current Pastor was stuck in Europe due to problems with his visa/green card, so he could not give us a wedding date. We kept on him about the classes/counseling, but he kept telling us he had to have permission from the actual pastor. He also said that since we were living together, we could no longer take Communion.
So, I got a place of my own closer to my college and took a job there working at a Bar waitressing and tending bar. I taught PRE and felt it wrong to attend church/PRE in town smelling of cigarettes and alcohol. I attended Mass at a church by my new place so I didn’t have to do the long drive back to the small town. Around the same time, His PTSD & bipolarism took over him full force and I ended up coming back to take care of him and his kids.
Finally, after two years of the calls and eventually unreturned calls, we grew tired of waiting and were legally married. A year later, we finally decided to have a non-denominational Christian wedding since we were still in the same situation. We personally felt that God would accept it. I sent an email to an old teacher from middle school that had become a Priest, and asked him about going forth to receive the Sacrament of Matrimony and what we could do, amongst other questions. A year a 2 emails later (spaced out of course), he still hasn’t answered me back. We want to begin trying to conceive and don’t want our child to be viewed as out of wedlock or have problems getting them baptized. My husband now has better control, and is finally able to actually attend Mass. We hadn’t gone in a while because the kids didn’t want to go without him. We would watch Mass on EWTN, and I would do some other things to keep Holy the Sabbath, on Sundays since we couldn’t receive Communion anyways. A priest had told me that this would be ok. The pastor that put us on the “list” has now taken over the Parish, but he has yet to call us back or even talk to us after Mass about what to do.
What more can we do? Should we just begin calling every Catholic Church we can to find a Priest that would help us? Would it be a sin for us to take communion now, even though we have had a Christian ceremony? We are feeling as if they don’t view it of importance since there are couple who are now being rushed through the preparation and have dates set in as little as two weeks of finishing, while we still can’t get an answer. What more can se do? Any and all help is much appreciated.